Welcome back to Confession Booth, Multiversity’s ongoing analysis of Marvel’s “Original Sin” event! Once again, we’re going to start off with a spoiler-free review and then a super-spoilery recap!
Also, because the series quickly went from a “Whodunnit” to an “Insane Maelstrom,” we will be forgoing the “Who Shot The Watcher?” segment of the column for another “Wait, What The Hell Happened?” section.
Let’s proceed with the spoiler-free review!
Review
Written by Jason Aaron
Illustrated by Mike Deodato• Find out the secret history of the Unseen!
• What is the Original Sin?
“Original Sin” has been a favorite among the Multiversity offices (which consists of two to three e-mail chains) for its gigantic scope and shameless insanity. Honestly, it’s probably my favorite event comic in recent memory if only because subtlety has been thrown right out the window — and this week, subtlety is still laying dead on the floor of a moon base, but the scales seem to have been somewhat lowered.
Don’t get me wrong, “Original Sin” #5 is still absolutely insane, but in a much more obvious way than usual. The insane revelation from last issue takes the spotlight, but none of the truly inexplicable bits of it were explained here given the character involved. It’s like if Punisher’s secret past involved something ridiculous like him being an animal trainer at a circus and we spent a whole issue talking about the times he killed carneys instead of the usual Mafia criminals. Yeah, that’s interesting, but someone should really address the elephants in the room.
That’s not to say this issue wasn’t entertaining. It was still a crazy roller coaster like we’ve been accustomed to with “Original Sin,” but the issue seemed almost tangential to the plot at large. In spite of that, Aaron takes all the time he can to deliver some incredible dialogue – “Only folks waiting on me I’ll be seeing myself… in hell.” – and epic scenarios rendered beautifully by Deodato, who is slowly eschewing the noir feel of the first few issues for a sci-fi blockbuster tone that still casts shadows indicating that not all the mysteries have been uncovered. Though I still don’t understand some of the toyetic space costumes, Deodato still clearly has an eye for choreographing intriguing action scenes. Considering that the entire issue is just one Secret Origin, Deodato still makes it one of the most visually appealing issues yet.
I wouldn’t go so far as to say that “Original Sin” #5 indicates a drop in quality of the series, but it does feature a slower pace — which, given the breakneck speed of the last few issues, isn’t entirely surprising. Still, the slower pace doesn’t take the time to answer any questions so much as point towards one character, sort of explain some of the lesser mysteries, and then end with one character basically saying “Oh hold up, you want the rest of the plot? Yeah we’ll get to that in two weeks.”
Final Verdict: 7.3 – An epic issue filled with cool moments that still slows down the momentum of the event.
Recap
As always, we’re going to go over last issue with a haiku because, really, the other Confession Booths are online; I already recapped them. This is a collaborative effort between us. Don’t make me work harder, readers.
Hot Damn Nick Fury
What are you director of?
The AARP?
Haha, take that, old people. And by old people I mean Nick Fury who showed up at the end of the last issue as a wrinkled prune surrounded by robotic versions of his old silver-fox self.
The other heroes who’ve come to Fury’s space station (Moon Knight, Bucky, Emma Frost, Black Panther, Dr. Strange, Gamora, Rocket Raccoon, Scott Lang AKA The Usuals) are ready to interrogate him and find out what the hell’s going on. Nick Fury, an old fart, then proceeds to tell a long story that has little to do with what’s going on, but it’s not a rant against Obama and fluoride so you win some, you lose some.
Instead, we get a look into Nick Fury’s 243532nd secret origin which further proves how old he is.
“Holy toledo!” indeed. Fury is there in 1958, fighting some lower-tier alien invasion like you do when he’s saved at the last minute by Professional Red Shirt Woodrow McCord who deserves so much better considering that he’s a Santa Claus in a jetpack who talks with a southern twang about how he’ll see all his friends in hell. Rest in peace, you utter champion.
Continued belowBefore Young Fury (the character, not the name of a 90’s comic book I just made up) can question what the hell is going on, Howard Stark shows up to set a precedent for his smarmy as hell family.
Hey, Stark! Sinestro called and he wants you to wipe that [SEX ACT REDACTED] off your upper lip.
After establishing that he’s not a dirty alien, Howard looks at Fury, shrugs, takes him to his secret facility via flying car and makes a bunch of vague statements about how there always has to be a man watching the wall against alien attacks. Stark offers the position of “Alien Shooter” to Fury who, surprise surprise, accepts the job. Smash cut to a bunch of Turians with dog heads scheming to eat all of humanity until they get smashed by a bullet from Fury who’s wearing a garish yellow space suit which I’m sure did not exist in the late 50’s. Or 2003. Whenever Marvel now says their timeline started.
We also get to see Fury murdering the monsters underneath the Earth and in space that team BlackAntWhite and #TrueDetectiveSeason2 were investigating so I guess that’s one mystery solved. I mean I wasn’t really concerned with those monster things so I guess Old Fury just sent everyone to check out how awesome he was for killing those monsters? God, what a homicidal egoist. Oh and he also killed that Ego the Living Planet type creature so I guess he’s also an Egoistical murderer?
During this decades-long rampage, Fury also takes the time to explain that he’s not really a monster because he had the option to shoot Spider-Man with a sniper rifle when the latter was just starting out, which is like someone saying they’re a cool person for not stabbing your kids. No, that’s the sort of action that’s common courtesy to not do. Even the Watcher shows up after Fury kills that planet to give him a “Bruh, c’mon” face.
To be fair to Fury, this is all justified since he did save the Earth from, like, a dozen alien invasions. If anything, his biggest sin is wasting everyone’s time by not answering why the hell he’s old, has an army of robot-selves on the moon, and has been manipulating everyone this whole time. This is pretty standard protocol for Fury; it’s not like Squirrel Girl spent the seventies murdering entire species of aliens. Basically, we got an entire issue of Nick Fury talking about his second job while everyone stands around him with their opinions.
In case you’re wondering, I agree with Emma Frost and Punisher and have also heavily identity with everything Ant-Man’s doing right now.
Anyway, The Orb decides to get the plot rolling again by falling down, which prompts Fury to finally start talking about what happened to The Watcher. Still, Old Fury decides to continue stating the obvious by saying The Watcher died and now it’s his turn.
Of course it is, you old fart. You’re old. Now somebody get to The Orb. He’s fallen and he can’t get up and I swear if Old Fury skipped out on getting LifeAlert then he’d officially become the most inexplicable character in a series with a guy whose head is literally an eye.
Wait, so What the Hell Happened?
Uh, nothing really. Like I said earlier, Fury just sort of talked about his second job for the entire issue, and while it had some cool scenes and character moments for Fury it didn’t really felt like it mattered or at least needed a whole issue to elaborate on.
Hopefully we’ll get a more substantial issue in two weeks time.
