Welcome back to Axistential Crisis, Multiversity’s ongoing attempt to chronicle Marvel’s latest crossover, “Avengers & X-Men: AXIS.” This week brings us Spider-Man, the new Axis of Evil, and some more heroes acting out of character. As always we’ll do a quick objective spoiler-free review followed by an absolutely subjective recap full of spoilers. Do with that information what you will.
Review
Written by Rick Remender
Illustrated by Terry Dodson
• Steve Rogers enlists Spider-Man and Nova for an impossible fight.
• The new Sorceress Supreme comes for revenge on Doom.
• Iron Man vs Daredevil for the fate of an infected San Francisco.
• The X-Men claim a new home.
• The Axis of Evil strikes down the heroes of the Marvel Universe!
Even when “AXIS” manages to have a somewhat sensible issue, it still finds a way to be the most uncomfortable comic of the week. Multiversity’s own David Harper described Remender’s dialogue in this miniseries as Remender trying to write every character as if they were Spider-Man, and in this issue he finally gets his hands on the web head. And at this point, it would probably be for the best if he had stayed away. The weird forced comedic dialogue that’s been present through the miniseries pulls a total Gwen Stacy and just can’t be saved by Spider-Man, no matter how hard he tries.
Thankfully, some of the humor is salvaged by Terry Dodson, whose art easily makes this the best issue of “AXIS” yet. Although they’re great artists on their own, Kubert and Yu’s art was too serious for a comic that had characters unironically named Kluh. Dodson, meanwhile, brings a levity to “AXIS” that is desperately needed for a miniseries which may be the most ridiculous crossover Marvel’s published in a year that included a murder mystery about freaking Uatu. In fact, there are some visual gags here that I could not even fathom more gritty artists tackling and, for the first time, I was on the creators’ side at some points. If Dodson sticks around for the next few issues of “AXIS”, the series may actually make some sort of turnaround.
That said, it’s hard at times to grapple with the utter spectacle of “AXIS”. Even though there is some truly tremendous nonsense going on (looking at you, X-Men), it’s hard to really appreciate them. There’s too much going on in “AXIS”, and all at such a frantic pace, that it’s hard to recognize which elements, if any, are important. Iron Man is in San Francisco selling freemium content? Okay. The X-Men are teaming with Apocalypse? Cool. 3D-Man is now 2D-Man and running through the streets of Hoboken, slicing the throats of orphans? Uh, okay. The sheer quantity of maniacs trolling about the Marvel Universe causes the crossover to become an over-saturated mess wherein no one event is important. They’re just there.
Final Verdict: 5.7 – This is easily the most enjoyable issue of “AXIS” thanks to Dodson’s art breathing new light into this funeral march of a comic, but the whole thing is still a hot mess.
Alright, that’s all I can say in the spoiler-free review. Let’s move on to the in-depth recap!
Recap
Hey Marvel, for any potential new readers can you give us the low-down on what happened in the last four issues?
Thanks, guys!
The new Nova, Sam Alexander, is flying to Avengers Tower to attend a meeting called by Captain America and his not evil friends. Outside, he’s met by Spider-Man who, as a result of the inversion, has had his mind swapped with Rodney Dangerfield’s. Seriously, go back to the issue and read his dialogue in Dangerfield’s voice. You can’t unhear it.
Anyway, Spider-Man teases Nova, citing it as a hazing ritual for new heroes even though Sam has now been a huge part of three Marvel crossovers since 2012. Spider-Man, meanwhile, just recovered from being murdered by Doctor Octopus and is now getting progressively overshadowd by Spider-Gwen and Miles Morales. Peter should really learn to choose his fights more carefully, which he does by making fun of Richard Rider, who is dead.
Continued below
As much as I hate this panel, I love the visual of Spider-Man at Nova’s funeral, realizing what his name meant, and trying not to laugh as they lowered Dick Rider’s casket into the Earth.
In Avengers Tower, Spider-Man shows Nova around by talking about how weird it is for grown adults to be partying in tight colorful costumes. Normally, I’d just chalk this up to Spider-Man having just read Watchmen for the first time but Peter saying “And you’re like, what, thirteen years old right? So that’s okay.” just makes me think he got possessed by Andy Dick instead. Honestly, there’s a solid chance Deadpool is under there too.
Before this situation could get any more uncomfortable, Sam Wilson and the other inverted Avengers burst through the door and, after getting all fascist about how they appreciate everyone falling into line and coming to the meeting, reveal that someone with Avengers clearance allowed the Red Skull to escape. Well, Captain America said this. Everyone else just sort of stood around.
Thanks, Thor. Great contribution, buddy.
Anyway, because of Inversion, Captain America decides to flip a switch and shrink down all the assembled Avengers. However, thanks to his spider-sense, Peter saves himself and Nova by tackling Sam out the window and swinging away. Captain America chases after them, threatens to snap their neck and is then smacked in the face with his own shield.
Does anyone else get the feeling that Remender really does not like Sam Wilson? Between him immediately becoming one of the big bads in “AXIS” to his debut comic that was published the same day as this where Sam missed when throwing his shield and had to get saved by Remender’s Aryan creation, Ian Rogers, Wilson’s done a pretty bad job as Cap so far. I hope everyone who got excited when this was announced on Colbert is glad to see the new high-profile African-American Captain America become a fascist.
Back to “AXIS”, Spider-Man and Nova escape Sam with the help of Magneto whose alignment is still at “pretty cool dude”. Despite everyone saying Magneto has been turned into a good guy by the inversion, he’s still the only character in this comic who’s done nothing but try to help people and not get weird with teenage kids. The same can’t be said for his daughter though, as Scarlet Witch has been inverted into a slightly darker costume that’s somehow less ridiculous than her normal one.
Fun fact: Wanda hasn’t been in a comic where she’s been anything more than crazy or a plot device since 2004. “AXIS”, meanwhile, is glad to be in of both categories.
Over at Avengers Mansion, Spidey, Nova, and Magneto recap what’s been going on with Steve and Nomad, a character I still refuse to care about. They offer up absolutely no new information except that, in the twenty minutes since he transformed, Kluh (THE HULK’S HULK) has walked all the way to Arizona and is destroying the state. I fail to see how this is evil. Also, he calls a nearby cameraman “tender boy” because, with the lack of Carnage in this issue, we still need someone present to sound like the killer from True Detective.
Speaking of tender boys, Sam immediately flies to Arizona so he can fight Kluh.
“Why did he do that?” To fly the hell out of this shitstorm and back into his own series. Wish I could say more about this scene but I didn’t check out “Nova” #24. Unless it explained what Kluh’s mohawk was about then I have no real interest.
Back in New York, no one has any time to react to how one of their youngest allies is going to at best get triple murdered by Kluh and at worst have a confederate mudflap made out of his skin because the X-Men show up in Apocalypse’s freaking spaceship. Where did they possibly get that? Did Evan’s skateboard just turn into a gigantic cruiser when he transformed into Apocalypse? Why does it look like a Lego Galactus minifigure with no arms or head?
Continued belowIn the tower, Sam watches over a tied up Wasp who is having the Pym Particles drained from her and declares that democracy has failed, the world needs a tyrant, and everyone should really just take it easy on Darren Wilson. In the debate between who’s doing better at being evil, The X-Men singlehandedly win with their giant death ship over Sam’s speeches and shitty leadership. Thankfully, the X-Men break up Sam’s weird evil party by crashing through a window.
Quick note, there’s a moment where Nightcrawler is talking while facing towards Sunfire and while I love the two of them, someone should really check the font whenever Kurt addresses Shiro with a “JA?”.
Soon enough, the X-Men beat down Cap because of course they do and deliver an ultimatum to him: Evacuate Manhattan of all humans within the next three hours or they will be killed. Why?
Everything we ever cared about? Then why are you taking Manhattan.
/rimshot.
And with that, we are now over halfway through with “AXIS”. Tune in next week when “AXIS” #6 is just twenty pages of New Yorkers frantically crowding the L train to get to Brooklyn or, as I call it, my weekend.
