Welcome to Boomb Tube: Where all of your favorite TV adaptions of comics books and Ultimate Spider-Man are recapped on a weekly basis! This week: a double feature due to me not reviewing last week’s new episodes! Spoilers ahead!
Recently on Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes: Hank Pym makes his return after being absent for most of the season. And then makes his exit 20 seconds into the episode by being mysteriously blown up. Iron Man and Wasp, who were visiting Hank at his lab, assume that he died since they can’t find his body and have never gone on TV Tropes. The Avengers decide to give Hank the memorial he deserved by building a statue of Ant-Man in his honor. Ant-Man being the same identity Hank gave up, handed to Scott Lang, and didn’t want to be remembered for. Anyway, a new hero named Yellowjacket hits the scene and grabs the media’s attention by straight up vaporizing the Serpent Society. All of the Avengers are confused by who this exciting new vigilante is except Wasp who read the comics. After Wasp tells the Avengers she thinks Yellowjacket is Hank they all giggle at her for being so naïve. They even do a plot device scan on Yellowjacket to prove it can’t possibly be Hank. But then it is. After Hank felt that he couldn’t accept being the rough and tumble Ant-Man he made a more violent personality named Yellow Jacket. They never really explain how he changed his biosignatures to trick the scanners, but that’s not important because the Avengers break Yellowjacket’s ray gun which turns out to be a shrinking gun, because Ant-Man will never make anything awesome. The Shrunken Serpent Society (alliteration!), it turns out, are being held in a tiny prison kept in Hank’s wallet which is a terrible idea not just because that has to break some human rights laws, but the tiny prison would be so easy to lose. Imagine if Hank left his wallet in a taxi cab! The next passenger’s butt would not be prepared for the wrath of the Serpent Society!
I’m sure that last line I wrote is in a fan fiction somewhere. Anyway, breaking the shrink-gun causes the Avengers and Yellowjacket to shrink down into the prison which is now shrinking rapidly into a singularity. The Avengers, Hank, and The Serpent Society find a way out, because as the great Stan Lee once said: “uh… to hell with it! Science!” After sciencing their way out of the tiny prison with the re-grown prisoners and Surrendering Said Standard-Sized Serpent Society to SHIELD, The Avengers welcome Hank back to the team. Because getting him some psychiatric help would be just silly.
This week, after helping The Vision break free of Ultron’s control two weeks ago, Iron Man puts the synthezoid into some deus ex machine to repair his injuries. When the Vision wakes up from the oven a month later he wonders why no one is there to set him on the windowsill to cool. Vision finds out that in the month he was gone, Tony took over the world by making it a utopia with no war and patrolled by Iron Man/Sentinel hybrids that are supposed to signify that this is a dystopia, but man do they look absolutely radical. Vision takes a cue from Avengers vs. X-Men and decides that anyone who tries to change the world to save it is a super-villain. Meanwhile in Stark Tower, a man with purple skin in a purple suit shows up and tells Stark how this world he’s created is definitely the one Stark wants and not mind control. I’ve been reading comics for most of my life and I have no clue who the purple guy is so I’m going to guess Grimace slimmed up and went to Men’s Wearhouse. Vision fights Hawkeye and Captain America, snapping them out of their making-the world-a-peaceful-place-with-kick-ass-robots trance and Clint reveals that The Purple Man mind controlled Tony into making a satellite that let The Purple Man use his mind control powers on the entire planet.
Before I continue: Really?! The guy’s name is The Purple Man? That’s like if Stan Lee and Jack Kirby created Iron Man and called him “That Metal Guy”. Really Marvel? DC changes its continuity more times than I change my underwear because Superman is married and Harley Quinn wears too much pants but you stick to a continuity that didn’t even bother to rename this guy? No. No, I’m actually impressed, good job guys. Anyway, Hawkeye and Ms. Marvel take out the satellite, and everyone gets un-brainwashed except for Tony. Steve and Tony punch each other and Tony snaps out of it because in the Marvel Universe the only thing you need to get your head back to normal is a punch to the face. That’s they call Victor Von Doom “Doctor”. The Avengers arrest Mr. Indigo (see? Renaming him is not hard) and Tony talks to Steve about whether or not he truly wanted the future Violet Vincent (Okay Mr. Indigo was the only one I really had) caused him to create. The future where there was no war and a huge amount of bitching robots. Steve says he believed that Tony subconsciously fought Purple Nurple’s mind control the whole time and that he believes in Tony. Steve and Tony then presumably make out after the credits.
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Meanwhile on Ultimate Spider-Man: Spider-Man hid a sick Hulk from Aunt May in his bedroom and hijinks ensued. Good for him.
Tune in next week when Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes has an episode titled “Code Red” and fails to convince me that Red Skull won’t be in it.
