On this week’s Boomb Tube, where all of the week’s Cape Cartoons are recapped, we examine why Sam Rockwell impersonations should just not happen.
This week’s Beware the Batman continued its trend of giving the Dark Knight new enemies to fight by having him beat up a bunch of street artists for a half hour. Also: Anarky shows up. After vandalizing some buildings, two vandals whose names are irrelevant get beat up by Batman. However, after Bats leaves, they begin to talk about how they’re just spreading their anti-government political beliefs, which draws out Anarky since half-hearted anarchist manifestos are to him what water is to Haru-Chan. (HA! ANIME JOKE!) Anarky gives Exit and Gift Shop more and more advanced gear to vandalize the city, but Batman continues to show up and stop them. Eventually, Bruce is able to track down Anarky to a tram station where Anarky thought it would be really fun to reenact that one scene from The Dark Knight and tells Batman that he’s placed explosives on the nearby skytrams. Either Batman saves innocent lives and lets Anarky go free or he catches him at the cost of innocent lives. This is the first time Batman’s seen Anarky so he really doesn’t care and just saves the people on the tram. Anarky gets furious over Batman’s choice and fights him anyway which leads to Batman knocking him off of the tram-tower and not caring that Anarky’s body splattered against the cold pavement. Anarky’s body dissapears so he’ll still show up again but there’s a good few minutes where Batman could not care less. Batman just kind of looks over at where Anarky’s body should’ve been and just kinda shrugs before flying off.
Meanwhile, Not-Katana-Yet goes into her closet and touchés her katana. She also manages to begin to suspect that Bruce may be Batman after testing out his exercise room that is literally chainsaws and fire. Katana then scrounges around the mansion and is able to follow Batman as he tracks down Anarky and is also able to sneak into the Bat-Cave. Bruce watches this all on his creepy surveillance system since he’s never allowed to have anyone be one step ahead of him, and he declares that the tests for Katana shall finally start. Wow, guy in tight Batman suit who let a dude smash his face on the ground and is now watching a woman travel into his personal dungeon. You’re alllllright.
Review Score: 7.2 – Not as good as other episodes, but still pretty solid.
Meanwhile on Ultimate Spider-Man, Luke Cage and Spider-Man join Fury and Coulson on a raid against a Zodiac base. There, they discover that Zodiac has Cage’s parents working for them. It’s revealed that when Cage was a little kid, Zodiac attacked the private SHIELD jet he and his parents were on. Cage’s dad decided that the only way to save his son was to inject him with the experimental super-soldierish formula he and his wife were working on and then they both took a cue from the Christopher Summers Guide to Parenting and threw their only child out of a plane and into the ocean. However, Luke survived due to the formula and forgot that he was looking for his parents until right now. Spidey and Luke fight to free their parents from Zodiac who are going to use the Zodiac key to destroy the world or something. Power Man gets in a lot of trouble when Scorpio punches him into a convenient pit of lava, which he’s able to survive because powers. Spider-Man then has the worst thought process as he decides that energy is what will save the day or something and throws the Zodiac key at the lava pit. Luke explodes but survives because that’s all he’s done this episode. Power Man then reunites with his family, but not before the audience is shown that he still has some residual power left within his systems. He’ll probably survive that too.
Review Score: 5.8 – An alright episode. Luke’s backstory was cool even if he has no relation to his comic counterpart.Though he did finally sawa “Sweet Christmas!”
Over on Avengers Assemble, Captain America and Iron Man were arguing over what was better, modern technology or the guts that come from living in a time where the only entertainment came from The Three Stooges. Before they can conclude their arguement, the crappiest impression of Sam Rockwell has a press conference announcing that Justin Hammer built a robot to destroy The Avengers and they can come test it out right now. The Avengers, minus Black Widow who is not even a part of this show, decide that this is definitely something they should go try out. At Justin Hammer’s test facility, The Avengers defeat the Super-Adaptoid in three seconds. While flying away, Cap is sure that the Super-Adaptoid isn’t truly finished and might come back having adapted to The Avengers after their first fight, since its name is the Super-Adaptoid. Everyone else tells him to shut up because they want the episode to be over with almost as much as I do. However the Super-Adaptoid comes back and trounces The Avengers until Steve fights back by fighting the Adaptoid by pretending its his friends, since the Adaptoid has their fighting styles and thus their weaknesses. The Super-Adaptoid is finished, Tony and Steve bro hug, and Justin Hammer reveals that he’s working with Iron Skull because freaking everyone on this show is.
Continued belowReview Score: 4.5 – Mediocre. There’s not much about this show that makes it stand out.
This was a special week for the existential nightmare that is Teen Titans Go!, as its the first episode in weeks to not end by killing off all the main characters. All the Titans except Raven are enjoying having their faces blasted by Cyborg’s meatball gun, and they try to get Raven to join in and eat the special meatball. Since everyone on this show is the worst, the meatball turns out to have some of Cyborg’s metal parts in it which causes one of Raven’s teeth to crack. Her teeth turn out to be portals to a hellish dimension which causes monsters to come out of her mouth and attack her teammates. Sadly, thanks to the concept of fan art, this is not the worst thing I’ve seen that involved Raven’s throat and tentacles. Raven ends up swallowing all her teammates (Again, something I’ve regrettably seen in fan art) and they fight the meatball monster living in her mouth (have not seen that done in fan art.) The Titans defeat the monster and Cyborg apologizes for his meatball partying ways. However, everyone on Teen Titans Go! is an unapologetic libertine, so Cyborg instantly starts another damn meatball party right after apologizing to Raven. Oh, Titans! When will any of you learn the concept of morality? Hopefully before the void comes for you.
Review Score: 3.8 – A really boring episode with the script of a used Mad Libs book.
