For the past few weeks, the only real Cape Cartoon that’s been airing on television has been Teen Titans Go!, a show so shallow that it’s becoming increasingly difficult to write about each week. However, this week’s viewing came with a great realization. Perhaps Teen Titans Go! isn’t meant to be examined the way one traditionally looks at a cartoon; maybe it’s less about the story and conclusions and more about the journey. If anything, these last few weeks of continued examination of a fifteen minute long cartoon have caused me to look past the shallow outer layer of pizza and catchphrases to find a true, compelling, core. Teen Titans Go! may just be the Naked Lunch of our generation. So join us, as we take a look at one of the most complex stories being told on the televisual medium in this era.
This week, Beast Boy and Cyborg really don’t want to pay for pizza.
In an effort to drive down the common man, Cyborg and Beast Boy take control of Go City, Watch Dogs style, so that the pizza boy won’t deliver the pie in 30 minutes and they won’t have to pay $8.95. However, this pizza boy seems to be the post-Flashpoint incarnation of Wally West, and as such, overcomes all the traps and manages to complete his delivery. Another win for the proletariat! Unfortunately, Beast Boy refuses to tip the guy which, speaking from experience as a delivery person myself, ensures that the pizza boy will have next to no money to bring home thanks to his low salary and having to waste all his time delivering to Mr. Pink. Later, the duo give up on trying to con minimum-wage workers out of their tips and go to a party where an old guy screams at the one pizza delivery boy in Go City for being a minute late with the pizza. Cyborg and Beast Boy react in a flabbergasted manner as the true moral of the story is shown; no one will be as effective at stealing young people’s money as the older generation.
Elsewhere, Robin is trying to do some good for his community by building a seniors home, complete with a pool! The one thing keeping him from successfully finishing the pool? Starfire’s recent bikini purchase which will cause him to become uncomfortably aroused in front of all the old people in the seniors home. Well, the part with the oldies is never stated out loud, but a seniors home is the third worst place to get turned on outside of middle school gym class and Comic-Con. Anyway, Robin is finally able to finish the seniors’ home by just not putting a pool near it and… yeah that’s how that conflict resolves itself. Starfire still wants to show off her bikini anyway and, while Robin begins to worry that his Dick Grayson is about to pop out, she reveals that the bikini was for Silkie, the mutant silk worm, the whole time.
I’d put the “stare into the abyss” quote from Nietzsche here but chances are, if you’ve read enough comic books to go on a website dedicated to them, you’ve seen that line enough times already.
Review Score: 6.4
Come back next week, when we finally talk about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
