This week on Boomb Tube, Ultimate Spider-man takes a break as we focus solely on what might be the most disturbing episode of Teen Titans Go! Read more after the jump. Spoilers ahead!
Since Ultimate Spider-Man did not air this week, even though it’s scheduled episode had the title “Stan By Me” which raises so many questions that must be answered as soon as possible, Teen Titans Go! went ahead and lost its damned mind.
The episode starts with The Titans stopping a bank robbery being committed by HIVE. Robin takes a while to beat up the bad guys which causes the rest of the Titans to make fun of him, because most of the team viciously insulting one of the other members is just about how every episode of this show begins. Robin decides that, in order to compete with his friends, he must get super powers too. To achieve that goal, he breaks onto the set of The Fly so he can recreate the accident from that movie but with a literal robin. Unsurprisingly, the incident goes just as it did with Jeff Goldblum and Robin becomes a literal Robin.
I’d make a joke about an homage to the birth scene from The Fly, but Starfire’s constantly walking around with Silky the Mutant Silkworm so we have to assume that scene took place offscreen.
Robin walks in and shows off his new birdform and everyone appropriately screams in horror at the godless sight before them. Just kidding; they tell him to do the chicken dance, which he does. Then, he slowly realizes that his birdform isn’t nearly as effective as his old trained-in-being-a-mini-Batman self. So, he asks Raven to give him new powers because Raven can do that now, who cares. Raven gives Robin all of Superman’s powers and with that he has unlocked God-mode and now every other member of the team is useless. They walk off, reminding Robin that he shouldn’t have really wanted powers like them; the team always considered their powers a curse and not a blessing.What follows is hands down the most deranged segment to be shown in a superhero cartoon.
Robin leaves Titans Tower, applies for a job at some generic office, spends the next 25 years there, is completely alone, and another 47 years later lies dying in a hospital bed.
This is not the deranged part.
All of Robin’s friends jump out from behind a screen and reveal that they spent the last 70+ years avoiding him so Robin could learn that powers come with a great cost.
This is still not the deranged part.
Robin dies and the episode cuts to credits with no other resolution.
That is the most deranged part.
No “It was all a dream!” No “we can go back in time!” Robin dies old and alone because he dared to dream of being more than what he was. It’s like this episode was written by the department of education from any Orwellian novel. People say that cartoons aren’t scary enough for kids these days, but Teen Titans Go! has caused me to think about my life decisions for the past few hours. And only now do I see the void.
Final Verdict: 7.7 – When Teen Titans Go! loses its mind, it loses it mind in the most entertaining way possible. Too bad it doesn’t make any sense.
