Welcome to Boomb Tube, where all of your favorite TV adaptions of comics books and Ultimate Spider-Man are recapped on a weekly basis! This week: Captain America runs out of aloe vera and Ultimate Spider-Man somehow doesn’t make a Turn off the Dark joke! Spoilers ahead!
Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes starts off by continuing from last week’s bromance session between Steve and Tony. After Tony propositions Cap to become the Avenger’s new leader, a mysterious gas spreads throughout Avengers Mansion infecting everyone but Iron Man. And just before he and Cap were about to make all my fan fictions canon! The gas dries up Steve’s face into a reddish color and makes them look almost like some sort of crimson cranium. While Cap lies in the infirmary and the other Avengers try to synthesize a cure before the virus overtakes them too, Politician Who Hates Superheroes Archetype #231 demands Avengers mansion be quarantined and sends out his own personal squad consisting of Doc Samson, The Falcon, Red Hulk, and Totally-Not-Bucky-Winter Soldier to take down the Avengers. The Avengers say “nah we’re good” and fight back against Falcon, Red Hulk, and Doc Samson. Meanwhile in the infirmary Captain America is confronted by Winter Soldier who he begins to recognize. Winter Soldier then attacks the frail Cap who fights back because he’s from the 40’s dammit! Back then, if you had polio your two options were to punch everything and jack squat. After slapping up Politician Man’s squad, Iron Man synthesizes an antidote returns to the infirmary to find Cap kidnapped. Kidcapped if you will.
After Hawkeye finds evidence that the gas was planted by Politician Man, Iron Man flies over to the Capitol building while recreating that scene from his movie where those jets told him to land. While ignoring the pilots in deadly aircrafts, Tony looks to the Capitol building to see that Cap is being totally slapped up by none other than the senator himself! Cap rips off the senator’s face and it turns out to be the Red Skull in disguise because why not. Iron Man, conscious of the fact that a bunch of deadly fighter jets are right next to him, fires a missile straight at the Capitol Building that contains an antidote. I don’t know where he found the time to make a missile container for the antidote,but maybe if he didn’t and delivered the antidote like a human being he would’ve gotten to Cap on time. Red Skull tells Winter Solider to kill Cap but Winter Soldier has one of those “I REMEMBER WHO I AM! I AM IN CONTROL OF MY DESTINY!” moments and cures Captain America. Steve’s first response is to punch the crap out of Red Skull while letting Winter Soldier escape, because in the 40’s a man’s priorities in ascending order were punching, believing cigarettes were good for you, and punching Nazis. Tony shows up too little too late and makes Cap the official leader of the Avengers after the news got coverage of Steve ripping off a beloved senator’s face and punching the crap out of him. Punching the Cap if you will.
Meanwhile, over on Ultimate Spider-Man, Midtown High School is peforming a musical! And it’s about Spider-Man! Peter is shocked and bewildered because that’s his only other emotion besides “cool”. While I was almost tempted to skip this episode this week, it turns out that the show’s director is going to be Principal Phil Coulson. That’s genuinely fantastic. Flash Thompson ends up being cast as Spidey and Peter continues to be flustered. Flash walks around to get into character as Spidey for the show and fights and defeats The Trapster, everyone’s favorite glue related villain, with Peter’s unseen help. Everyone loves Flash as Spider-Man because Peter isn’t allowed to be happy and then he mopes around until opening night. The Trapster crashes the show to attack Flash-Spidey. I assume it’s because the Trapster, a villain whose power is a discount at the glue store, felt insignificant at someone else who was better at squirting out hot, white and sticky liquid. Peter drags Trapster onto the stage of the in-progress show where no one realizes that their fight is real. Peter beats Trapster, takes off his mask for the audience and everyone boos him for not being Flash. Then Flash comes onstage to hug it out with Peter. Everyone in the audience then presumably demanded a refund for a show that was interrupted by the hug, hurting the drama budget of the school and shutting it down forever.
Hey look, I didn’t mention Turn Off the Dark ye- DAMMIT!
