Look, Buffy the Vampire Slayer isn’t only a show about who Buffy is dating but it’s not not about that either. The fact is Buffy and shipping go together like vampires slayers and stakes. It’s probably going to turn out to be a messy bad idea, but you cannot deny that on some level, they belong together. An idle conversation with Multiversity TV reviewer Laura Merrill inspired this thought: who else from comics should Buffy date, and what does that tell us about the Slayer?
After all, Buffy is kind of a romantic disaster. The love of her life is probably Angel, but that dude is a self-involved mope who is one bad day (well, good day) away from being a monster. Spike is more gleefully terrible, but he’s still not a great person. Riley was a bore and at the end of the day, couldn’t quite keep up with Buffy in her world. Satsu was a cool gal who was looking for a commitment that Buffy wasn’t ready for. Robin has got a lot of heart but ultimately, he’s going to fall into the same trap that Riley did. So what is Buffy looking for in a relationship? And what should she be looking for?
Captain America
Laura immediately suggested Captain America. When asked why, she replied, “because he believes in justice, but he’s not a little bitch about it.” That’s a great place to start! Buffy and Cap are both driven people brought together by their values. It’s an important touchstone to any serious relationship. And it doesn’t hurt that Cap looks a lot like Chris Evans. (It should be noted that in the underrated 2006 animated Ninja Turtles movie, Sarah Michelle Gellar voiced April and Chris Evans voiced Casey and they were married and it ruled). He’s got America’s ass.
But then Laura second guessed herself. “Unless she’s in high school and he’s a grown up, cause that’s weird,” she amended her suggestion. But this brought up an interesting and largely unique problem Buffy has in her dating life. She is often drawn to guys who are functionally immortal, who grew up long ago and have hundreds of years of life experience. Cap isn’t a vampire, but he does share this trait in common. And that’s actually going to be a strike against him. Maybe it’s time for Buffy to date someone her own age. Otherwise though, Cap is objectively pretty desirable.
Spider-Gwen
So supposing Buffy is in high school for a moment, who is the coolest kid in school? It’s definitely the Gwen Stacy of Earth-66. Gwen is funny, confident, and driven to seek justice- all good traits if you’re Buffy. But perhaps more importantly for high schooler, Gwen is a super cool drummer in a super cool rock band- the Mary Janes. That’s the kind of act that would 100% play at the Bronze. And most importantly for Buffy, Gwen could totally take care of herself, or even team up in the name of fighting evil.
But let’s address the obvious question: does Buffy even like girls? (I understand that this is a hypothetical exercise and that sometimes it is fun to assume a character’s bisexuality. But I think it’s more interesting to seriously consider the character). Buffy never showed any interest in women in the TV show, but in the 2008 comics, she hooked up twice with fellow Slayer Satsu. She equivocated about her sexuality the whole time and eventually left Satsu for Angel, breaking her heart. It was a pretty crappy way to act. So I think it’s pretty safe to say that in the original canon, Buffy was bisexual, even if she never quite wrapped her head around what that meant to her. In the new canon, Willow is out as gay as a high schooler, so I think there’s a good chance Buffy may have a smoother time of discovering herself in the new continuity. And in this supposed reality where she can date Spider-Gwen, maybe she’s totally figured it out.
Nightwing
In brainstorming other suitable suitors, Laura asked me about eligible DC bachelors, being more of a Marvel fan herself. I immediately thought of Nightwing. After all, Dick Grayson is constantly topping lists of hottest dudes in comics. He’s a brave hero, he’s got a lot of heart, a great sense of humor, and he’s the most supportive dude ever. Even though he’s got no powers, he’s world class. Buffy wouldn’t need to protect him. But when I started to dig into some of Dick’s more famous stories, Laura decided that he and Buffy are incompatible.
Continued belowThat’s because even though he managed to forge his own path, Dick will always be defined by being a sidekick. The sidekick. Robin is synonymous with being second fiddle, and Dick is the most famous Robin. And Laura doesn’t think Buffy would be that sympathetic with his struggle. Buffy was never a sidekick. In her life, she was always the Batman. And in season seven, she butted heads with a lot of other heroes who resented being in her shadow. It seems like Nightwing would have a big chip on his shoulder about being the center of attention, and when Buffy is around that’s sort of a hard thing to be. So the two of them are not written in the stars. Which is really too bad. If Cap has America’s ass, Nightwing’s is one of the best in the galaxy.
Aquaman
Is Aquaman an appealing partner? Well…
Hellboy
What about outside of Marvel and DC? Well, there’s one hero who is big and red and totally Buffy’s bad-boy type. HB is a great example of everything Buffy seems to like- he’s gruff and unapproachable and despite his weird charisma, not very friendly. He’s strong and tortured, competent, hot-blooded, but strangely sweet. Most importantly though, the two of them would connect over their shared hatred for destiny. HB is fated to bring about the end of the world, Buffy is supposed to save it. Both of them resent being told what to do. And honestly, being told that they are supposed to be on opposing sides of the War Between Good and Evil probably just makes things sexier for them.
The big dealbreaker is that Hellboy was a child sometime around World War II, making him around the same age as Captain America. As we discussed, this is appealing to Buffy, but maybe is a bad idea. So what we need is someone who has an edgy bad side, but is ultimately good. They need to be just dangerous enough to seem like a mistake, but ultimately have the heart to be a good and loving partner. Is there anyone in superhero comics like that?
Magik
Joss Whedon often talked about how Buffy was inspired by Shadowcat of the X-Men and that got me thinking- who is the right person out there for Kitty Pryde? Not longtime on-again-off-again beau Colossus. Definitely not Star Lord or Pete Wisdom. I have always thought Shadowcat to be a great match for her roommate, Ilyana Rasputin. This gets weird though, because Ilyana is the sister of Colossus, who Kitty has dated. But that’s not a problem for Buffy!
So what makes Magik and Shadowcat, and thus Buffy, so compatible? Ilyana was a sweet girl who grew up on a Russian farm. She went to school in America, but was captured by demons and raised in a crazy demon dimension. She is part mutant, part demon, totally tortured, and dark, and brooding, and dangerous. But she also is fiercely loving, determined, and fun loving. Some days she loses control, and some days she dominates hellscapes.
Superficially, Ilyana is as problematic as a lot of the folks Buffy ends up dating. She’s an evil demon quite a bit of the time. But treat Magik with a little bit of nuance and you can see how compatible she is with Sunnydale’s Slayer. These two would make for a power couple that would get the infernal underworld to quake in its boots. They might even be happy together. And if they were happy for a moment, that wouldn’t blow up the entire world. Man, Buffy sure has lowered the bar when it comes to dating. Here’s to hoping that when her comic starts back up, she’ll make some good decisions without having to resort to a comic book crossover.
