Columns 

Hate Mail Vol. 1 Issue #01

By | March 8th, 2010
Posted in Columns | % Comments


Wherein Our Hero Alienates 96% of His Audience Right Off the Bat

Welcome to the very first edition of Multiversity Hate Mail. First, a little disclaimer: I don’t like conventional thinkers. At all…even a little bit. As sad as this is to admit, my experience has taught me that a LOT of the comic reading populace, who shall henceforth be referred to as “nerds”, are conventional thinkers who dislike change and radical thought. If you fall into this category, I will probably say things that will anger you both accidentally and very much on purpose because I am a self-hating Jew vinyl/comic nerd with a history of aggression and a bone to pick.

Since this is our first installment, a little a word about what’s in store is necessary. I’ll be talking about comics (obviously), but more importantly I’ll also be talking about comics CULTURE…the people who READ and PRODUCE comics…and specifically what I think they are doing WRONG both in their work and their lifestyle…though I will still find time to heap praise on stuff I view to be undeniably good (coughtsweettoothcough)…because I’m cool like that.

Another bit of clarification: the title of “Hate Mail” is directed OUTWARD…FROM me to whomever I decide to blast along the way…although if I do my job right, I will have quite a bit of it coming IN as well.

Oh and by the way? I’m the guy who blamed Phonogram’s cancellation on the horrible music taste of the average fanboy and pissed off all those old whiners (and Ron Marz) when I advocated for downloading comic scans. #bringonthehatelosers

Still with me? Good.

Now, for the sake of full disclosure, I have now tried to write this article three separate times with three separate sub-headings. Two thirds of these sub-headings had to do with my launching into a tirade against the fanboy community for being, in large part, big jerks to their fellow fans and pulling a big ol’ superiority complex in regard to the opinions of said fellow fans. Now, while I obviously (as you will see) have absolutely NO problem being overly critical of things I don’t like even when (nay, especially when) I am firmly in the wrong, writing an article that basically says “you thinking you are better than everyone else is wrong” and justifying it with “I am right because I am better than YOU” seemed to bring me just a little too far into hypocrisy-ville than I wanted to go on my first time out.

Thankfully, in the roughly two weeks it’s taken me to find my footing since receiving the offer to do this from Czar Matthew (paraphrased: “you can write whatever you want be as rude and controversial as you want…as long as you are consistent”), something happened that gave me the perfect opening for less-than-constructive criticism.

Now, since no one REALLY likes to be spoiled even though the issue is now over a week old and Newsarama covered it plenty since then…SPOILERS FOR JUSTICE LEAGUE: CRY FOR JUSTICE #7 ARE ABOUND!

Now…Star City is destroyed, Red Arrow is down one arm and one daughter and Green Arrow is a murderer…all in the span of one (technically three as the arm removal happened in issue 5) issue, the Green Arrow mythos is turned completely upside down…and boy, were people PISSED. “TOO VIOLENT!!!OMFG!” the nerd legions cried! Let’s face it, they meant to say something a lot different, namely…

“OH NOES! NOT IMMENSE CHANGE!!! NOW I HAVE TO UPDATE MY FANFIC!!!!”

Now, fear of change and significant upheaval within the fictional worlds we have all come to love is a time honored tradition. However, the fact of the matter is that THIS IS FICTION. Now granted, the fact that it is serialized fiction makes it a little easier to develop a sense of propriety over, but at the end of the day, as fans, we have little to no control over how things proceed month to month (or in the case of books written by Mark Millar…year to year.) The only recourse we have to avoid significant mental trauma is to realize that. Frankly, the writers with a history of doing exactly what the fans want end up becoming the most maligned. Anyone remember the steaming pile of sh*t that was Chuck Austen’s run on Uncanny X-Men? Dude went on to forums and added almost every single character the fans wanted to see into the book, even to the point that their appearances made NO sense whatsoever. He did what the fans wanted, and got booed off stage anyway (mostly because his writing was complete garbage and covering that up by adding Jubilee, Northstar and Husk to the team just wasn’t gonna fly, but I digress.)

Continued below

Ultimately it is the writers who take chances and push fandom’s buttons that end up leaving a mark on the medium as a whole. This is a FACT.

Now, back to Cry for Justice. While James Robinson by no means crafted a masterpiece of graphic fiction here, as a story it was still a mildly entertaining read with, up until the final issue, gorgeous art. These seven issues are a perfect example of “okay” comic writing in that they were entertaining, somewhat engaging and mildly memorable…until again, the last issue. Love it or hate it, that issue is going to be a game changer…like, a “Jean Loring did it” level game changer.

For those unaware, the villainous Prometheus set off a string of explosions in Star City, home town of Green Arrow and the main setting for that section of the DC mythos, that ended up taking the lives of ninety thousand people, including Lian Harper, the daughter of Roy Harper (Red Arrow) and the spiritual, if not physical or legal granddaughter of Oliver Queen (Green Arrow). This seems to the first major thing that people found wrong with the issue, even over the GIANT F&*%ING EXPLOSIONS THAT TOOK OUT THE CITY. More than aaaalllll the mass destruction, the death of this one little girl set people off like nobody’s business. WELL WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN, HUH?! Ninety thousand people die and little powerless Lian Harper crawls out from the wreckage with a few scratches and maybe a broken arm? HELL NO. You throw that much carnage onto a city and I don’t care who’s daughter you are, you are a goner. (Though, to be fair, the scene could have been framed in a much less tacky manner.)

Let’s face it, death sucks and mass destruction is a VERY REAL PHENOMENON. Lord knows we’ve sure seen a lot of in the real world these past few months. While it wasn’t at the hands of despotic superterrorists, it wasn’t any less heartbreaking. The absolute WORST thing the writers could do after heaping this much destruction onto the DCU is to just move on and act like it didn’t happen (coughultimatumcoughcoughCOUGH.) The deed is done, now show people REACTING TO IT GODDAMNIT! (To be fair, it looks as if DC is going to be doing just that within the pages of the Arrow books moving forward, so good on them for that.)

Then again, we have kind of already seen the first of the reactions to it already haven’t we? In the last few pages of the issue, we see Prometheus bask in his victory and begin to plan his next move as a green arrow rams right through his helmet and right into his forehead, thereby making the revenge of the Green Arrow complete.

“OH NOES!” the fanboys cried! Shouts of “out of character” could be heard as the ravenous legions shined up their pitchforks and planned to harvest James Robinson’s head. Again though, WHAT DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?! Good LORD people!!! The guy saw his (adoptive) son maimed, his (adoptive) granddaughter killed, his (actual) home that he swore to protect completely destroyed and the man responsible WALK AWAY SMILING. If you were in his position, what EXACTLY would you have done? To all those misguided souls who have been all over the interwebs screaming “uhm, but what if they just, like, captured him again after he gave up the codes…!!!!!1111” …DO YOU REALLY THINK, AFTER ALLLLLL THE OTHER CONTINGENCIES HE HAD PLANNED, THAT HE WOULDN’T HAVE SOMETHING IN PLACE FOR ANOTHER PHYSICAL ATTACK?! Seriously now…no matter how much the less than stellar layouts made it seem that he gave up the codes BEFORE he left the watchtower…COME ON! USE YOUR HEADS!

My advice, fanboys? Calm the hell down, learn your place and enjoy the ride. I for one am absolutely intrigued as to where they’re going to go with all this since, while granted it could have been presented a little better and didn’t really NEED to happen, based on the circumstances everything pretty much falls into place and I’m still on board to see where it goes…rest assured though, if I don’t like it…you’ll hear about it soon enough.

Joshua Mocle is aware that many might be offended by 90% of what he writes…he thinks you should be aware that that is the point and sends high fives to the lingering 10%. To read his rants about things that DON’T have to do with comics (AKA punk rock and burritos), go here.


//TAGS | Hate Mail

Joshua Mocle

Joshua Mocle is an educator, writer, audio spelunker and general enthusiast of things loud and fast. He is also a devout Canadian. He can often be found thinking about comics too much, pretending to know things about baseball and trying to convince the masses that pop-punk is still a legitimate genre. Stalk him out on twitter and thought grenade.

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