Wherein Our Hero Rages Against the Machine
Alright I’m in Canada and have better things to do than write this column…so its gonna be short, sweet and punch-packing…just like Puck! (Get it? Canada? Puck? Ehh? Ehhhh???? God…read your Alpha Flight you dinks…that joke is GOLD.)
ANYWAY
As I was reading the afterward in this week’s first issue of Nemesis that I pre-ordered two months ago then bought by accident because I can’t read emails properly, I noticed something I had read about a while ago and forgotten about but that pissed me off then and pisses me off now. It seems that, given the widespread success of previous Mark Millar creator owned properties (Wanted, Kick-Ass) that, in fact, studios began courting Millar for the rights to his newest property, Nemesis, BEFORE THE BOOK WAS EVEN ANNOUNCED.
Now, lets rewind for a bit. Remember Wanted? The fantastic, semi-futuristic 2003-2004 Super-Villain mini-series put out by Millar and artist JG Jones on Top Cow? You know…the one that featured a world that had been conquered and divided up by some of the most sadistic and legitimately evil super-villains ever imagined? The super violent, borderline smut, masterpiece that so many have come to love?
Remember how it was adapted to the big screen?
Angelina Jolie ass notwithstanding, that movie was a steaming pile of crap even on movie terms (LOOM OF FATE?! SERIOUSLY?! You expect me to believe that highly trained assassins moonlight as weavers? S my D, Hollywood) but in terms of being a comic book adaptation it ranks even lower. However…an interesting point to make is that there is a somewhat good reason the adaptation was as bad as it was: the rights to the film were picked up after ONE issue was released. Ever notice how the movie adapts that one first issue almost perfectly before spiraling into complete nonsense and Michael Bay-level useless theatrics? That would be why.
A similar situation occurred with Kick-Ass (though that one is a little more obvious given how…ya know…the movie was complete before the last two or so issues were.) However, having not read the script leak and based only on the trailers, teaser footage and the reported involvement of creators Millar and John Romita Jr., I can make the claim that the adaptation MAY stick closer to the source material than Wanted…possibly BECAUSE of how negative a reaction Wanted received from the comic reading community. That however, remains to be seen.
Reportedly, another Millar property, War Heroes has also been picked up by a studio…despite having three issues come out in the span of almost a year and a half and the series STILL not being done.
Now Nemesis…optioned without a single panel drawn or a single issue on the stands. It really makes you think, right? Is this really a case of Mark Millar being so respected of a creator that anything his name touches turns to entertainment gold? Or are the studios seeking desperately to scoop up as many independent comic properties as they can in the wake of Marvel and DC not letting their characters out to play anymore? Legitimate creative expansion or corporate cash grab?
The answer, obviously, is cash grab. I’m not even leaving this one up to debate; it is a COMPLETE cash grab.
Does this necessarily mean there is a Nemesis movie on the horizon? No…but I’d say the chances are pretty likely. Will said Nemesis movie blow large chunks? Again, not necessarily…but I’d say the chances are good.
And why, do you ask? Simple: the integrity of the adaptation is not a priority to any second party studio working on it (which, really, is the nice way of putting it…a more gruff thing to say is “they don’t give a f*ck.”)
Continued belowIts gotten to the point that any super-hero/super-villain related movie, regardless of whether it is based on or adapting a comic, is more or less a solid money maker right out of the gate (there are exceptions of course), which is all that really matters to the studios that license these properties from the comic publishers. Therefore, if money, not creative integrity, is the bottom line, who the hell cares if the movie is respectful to the source material? (NOTE: being respectful to the source material and adapting it word for word, panel for panel is NOT necessarily the same thing. It depends on the book being adapted. If you disagree, you are wrong and I don’t even want to get into why right now.)
Going down the entire list of unfaithful adaptations would take forever, so instead I will just make my overarching statement and move on: movies like Catwoman, Ghost Rider and 1.5 of the Fantastic Four movies (the first half of the first one is actually okay) actually set back the entire super hero genre, both on screen and otherwise, more than I think people realize. Why? Because the sh*tty people who like these sh*tty movies will invariably end up looking into the comics the movies spawned from and give their dollars to the misguided comics that emulate the flash, bang, all pretty lights and no substance feeling these movies set into existence…or at least, that’s the only reason I can think of for Jeph Loeb’s Rulk selling as well as it does…leaving the really top quality books to sell at levels that get them cancelled after five issues (yes, I’m STILL bitter about S.W.O.R.D.)
Anyway…
This is why Marvel and DC creating their own production houses to put out their own movies is such a stroke of complete genius. I won’t go so far as to say that money is not PART of their bottom line, but I will say that, given that they are the same company that publishes the written versions of these characters and are, effectively, the caretakers of their legacies, that they have a far more vested interest in adapting these characters well and doing so respectfully. Iron Man 1 and the latest Hulk movie are two great examples of this (Hulk less so, but that has more to do with the character just being hard to adapt to live action.)
There is, of course, a dark side to that situation that I have only recently heard about, specifically in relation to Marvel since Warner Brothers, who also owns DC, have always had a hand in the DC adaptations (for better (Dark Night) or worse (Superman Returns.) Apparently, all properties that had been licensed out prior to the establishment of Marvel Studios (X-Men, Spider-Man, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Ghost Rider, Blade and The Punisher, just to name a few), must now be USED and used continually or the rights will revert BACK to Marvel. You know what that means? It means we are going to be seeing a LOT of those characters on the big screen in the coming years (talks of Daredevil and FF reboots are all the rage and no less than FOUR X-Men flicks are currently working their way into production), with an EVEN GREATER focus on financial gain than before since if they lose the rights, there goes ALL profit as opposed to the LITTLE profit they could gain from a flop. Unfortunately, there isn’t much that can be done about this…however the folks attached to the new Spider-Man reboot and the aforementioned X-Men projects don’t immediately make me want to vomit…but then again, neither did Brett Ratner…
However, something CAN be done about the lingering independent and creator owned properties that are falling into the scopes of the major studios: creators can step up and assert themselves. Now, I’m not saying turn down a multi-million dollar contract for fear of “selling out” or some equally inane social construction relating to money, but demanding a high amount of creative control is not something to be avoided. They are, after all, YOUR characters and there is absolutely no reason the studios should not be taking their cues from you when adapting them. Trust me, as someone who has spent a decent chunk of his life wanting to be a part of the film industry; I can safely say at this point that they want you to sign FAR more than you may want to sign, and that puts the advantage squarely in your hands, creators.
In short, grow a backbone and we’ll all be better off.
Joshua Mocle currently rues the fact that tofu isn’t kosher for Passover. To read his rants about things that DON’T have to do with comics (AKA punk rock and burritos), check out soundgrenade.
