Yesterday, we reported that Ben Affleck is supposedly be courted by DC Entertainment and Warner Bros for the Justice League feature film. At first we thought it was April Fool’s, but it turns out to be cropping up at numerous sources (of varying credibility, sure) to the point that we’re fine with taking it seriously now.
So. Ben Affleck’s Justice League. You can’t help but wonder who might be cast in this adaptation. If you’re like me, you might even have flashes of our past Michael Bay Justice League.
Oh, heck, let’s just have some fun with it. Here are our picks for Ben Affleck’s feature film adaptation of the popular DC franchise, starring Ben and all his friends.
Superman – Ben Affleck
Affleck has stated in the past (at least, according to that Variety article we previously reported) that he’s only really interested in directing movies he can also star in. Well, sorry Henry Cavill, but the starring role of this film is assumedly going to be Superman, even if Batman is the more popular character. It also stands as noteworthy that Affleck has in fact played Superman before, in 2006’s Hollywoodland where he played George Reeves, the first man to play Superman on television. Looks like it’s time for Affleck to once again don the spandex, although hopefully there will be a different and less depressing portrayal of the iconic figure.
Batman – Matt Damon
Batman and Superman are DC’s biggest characters, with a lot of important chemistry riding between them. The two have to be able to get along like night and day; opposites who are incomplete without the other. So if we’re going to cast a role as important as Batman against Affleck’s Superman, the only option is Affleck’s BFF, Matt Damon. We know Damon can portray an action star due to his role as Jason Bourne, we know he can easily fit into the role of a man who wears multiple masks thanks to his role as Tom Ripley, and screw it, he’s Matt Damon! He can do whatever he wants!
Wonder Woman – Liv Tyler
Wonder Woman is perhaps one of the more difficult roles to cast here because we need a female lead who has proven herself in strong roles before, as well as someone who could conceivably have some form of chemistry with Superman, as the Wonder Woman/Superman relationship has been lightly teased/hinted at in the past by DC and fan fiction (mostly fan fiction). We’ll basically need someone who can act opposite Ben Affleck to which their romantic relationship is conceivable but never actually believable. Therefore, Liv Tyler is perfect for the role, based on her roles as Affleck’s girlfriend in Armageddon and Jersey Girl.
Green Lantern – Jason Lee
Green Lantern is DC’s newest “hot” property, thanks in part to the successful relaunch helmed by Geoff Johns. While the Green Lantern film wasn’t anything we remotely wanted it to be, it’s fair to say that we need someone we know Affleck can work with. Given his roles opposite Affleck in movies like Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Dogma, we know that the two get along. Add to that Lee’s past as a skater punk (allowing him to channel that for the Hal Jordan’s brashness) and his interest in Scientology, and the Space Cop role seems pretty perfect for the man who has played a brash comic book geek multiple times now.
The Flash – Casey Affleck
Affleck’s younger (and arguably more talented) brother, Casey Affleck is perhaps best suited for smart and somewhat soft-spoken roles. It is almost impossible to believe that Ben would not give Casey the opportunity of a lifetime such as this, and the only role Casey would fit well is the sharp, calculating mind of forensic analyst Barry Allen, also known as the Flash. He also runs a lot in Gone Baby Gone, so maybe that could work somehow?
Aquaman – Jason Bateman
While it might seem like an oddball choice at first, Bateman and Affleck have worked together multiple times, such as with Smokin’ Aces, Extract (where Affleck played Bateman’s best friend) and State of Play. While Batman may not have the standard muscles for a role like Aquaman, Affleck could probably pull a sharp performance out of him for the role. In fact, maybe just for fun, Bateman could channel his role as Pepper Brooks and turn Aquaman into a surfer dude. That’d be hilarious, right? Because Aquaman is into water.
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Cyborg – Cuba Gooding Jr.
While they have not had a role together since Pearl Harbor, Cuba Gooding Jr has proven time and time again to be an actor capable of a wide range. With Cyborg’s past seeing him as a former football star and Gooding Jr having himself played a football star in Jerry Maguire, the role might just seem a bit typecast. And yet, he’s certainly proven himself in films like Red Tails, Men of Honor and Rat Race. He would make a great addition to Affleck’s motley band of heroes.
Darkseid – Slaine
Ben Affleck introduced the world to George Carroll, also known as Slaine, an aspiring rapper from Boston, Massachusetts. Giving him important roles in both Gone Baby Gone and The Town, Affleck’s fondness for Slaine is wildly apparent, and it is clear that Affleck seeks in him a talent that just needs the proper opportunity to be let out and to shine. While Darkseid is assumedly going to be some form of CGI creation (especially now to match Marvel and their big, looming CGI Thanos), Darkseid will still need an actor to embody the vocal emotions and perform with the motion capture. If Mark Ruffalo can step into the shoes of the Hulk, it makes perfect sense for Affleck to give this aspiring multi-talented performer the role of a lifetime and the voice of one of the Biggest Bads in all of comics.
Congratulations, Slaine. You are the New God of Apokolips. (With luck, we’ll get a rap song out of it in the style of Will Smith’s “Wild Wild West.”)
Random Stan Lee-Esque Cameo – Kevin Smith
Because.
