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X-Men Mutantversity: Chilling With Amazing Friends

By | January 16th, 2023
Posted in Columns | % Comments

Welcome back to Mutantversity, a class offered at the Krakoan Akademos Habitat. This isn’t a place to find big reviews of X-books, (that’s what our Review section is for!) but it’s a great way to keep up with one of the most complicated superhero series around. We’re going to dive into the deep end as we try to parse all the secrets of this new era of “X-Men” comics. As your designated X-Pert, I will do my best to help you work through everything Marvel’s Merry Mutants have to offer!

We’ve been off for two months and a lot’s happened in that time. Here’s the X-stuff you’ve gotta know.

Tonight There’s Gonna Be a Jailbreak
We knew it was coming, and Victor LaVelle’s return to Sabretooth doesn’t disappoint! This time he’s leading a whole team of misfits, and what better starting place for an X-Book is there? The Krakoa era has characterized Victor Creed as unrepentant. He murders because he likes doing it. He won’t stop. He won’t be dishonest. Sabretooth just wants to live his true self life, you know? And this time he’s got a team around him, one that maybe could help point his violent tendencies towards the evil and shadowy Orchis.

This team of Exiles is made up of everyone banished to The Pit on Krakoa thus far. Third Eye is there, still being awesome and mysterious. It’s pretty clear that he’s LeValle’s self insert. Fine by me! And then we have Toad! ‘Ol Mortimer was banished for murdering Scarlet Witch… hey didn’t he get cleared? Scarlet Witch wanted to die to cast her spell etc.? No one went down to collect Mort? That sucks!

Idie Okonkwo is probably the nicest member of the crew. I really like that circumstances has driven her to be an outlaw, even though she’s a perfectly pleasant hang. Nekra is here. I like how LeValle writes her, though she’s still a pretty shallow character. Nanny and Orphan Maker are tagging along too. My opinions on this duo are well documented. They have had the most profound glow-up of any mutant character since Krakoa- I want an ongoing ASAP. Madison Jeffries is still around too, he’s a dang-ass freak and the better for it. Melter is around, that dude is forgettable.

The new crew springs Victor from torturous Orchis experiments. We get some great superhero action and even a cool ship. Honestly this is a better “Marauders” book than “Marauders” is. “Sabretooth & the Exiles” gives LaVelle a place to continue exploring themes of justice, innocence and guilt. The team has no moral rudder, so I can’t wait to see what they do when they wash up in some random port.

To Me My Essex Men!
We’ve been waiting since the bombshell final page of “Immortal X-Men” #1 to see what Sinister had in store; now we have an answer. Those Moira clones are being used like a sick biological answer to Reed Richards’ Bridge device- it lets Sinister run an alternate reality, record the results, and toss the consequences. Good for him, because the consequences usually involve him dying. Case in fact, the consequences always end with him dying.

He takes out some members of the Quiet Council in the process. Just not all of them, and not in a way that would let him walk away afterwards. He tries to create a priority list, but that only indicates that Mystique and Kate Pryde are not at the same power level as the rest of the council. Despite the morally questionable methodology, it’s a really cool peak for us in the real world as to how mighty the Quiet Council is. 

Hope is the most powerful, the only member who gets a full 10. Psychics Xavier and Emma both get 9s; it’s tough to ambush a psychic. Even harder to ambush a precog, so Destiny also has a 9. And Storm is the one mutant with physical powers who gets the 9 from Sinister, putting her at the highest tier of Omega-level power. Then we get the other powerhouses- Colossus and Exodus are rated 8 for sheer take-your-head-off strength, and Nightcrawler gets an 8 too because teleporters are tough to beat too!

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While bombastic superpowers shouldn’t qualify you for governance- this isn’t Arakko- but the Quiet Council has got almost unbeatable power. It illustrates just how hard a villain has to work to do some damage to Krakoa.

Also towards the end of the issue, Sinister gets so frustrated he has to furiously doodle. I have a signed poster and a few signed comics from Kieron Gillen, all of them have a doodle on them in nearly an identical style. Lucas Wernick slays every single page he creates, but Gillen’s scribblings make me smile.

Laura and Everett K-I-S-S-I-N-G

By far the most compelling thread through the ongoing “X-Men” comic has been the romance and adventures of Synch and Wolverine. It’s been the slowest of burns, but in “X-Men” #17 we finally got some momentum on the plot. To recap, Synch, Wolverine, and Darwin went into the Vault, where time moves much more quickly. What felt like a month for most was an immortal lifetime for the three heroes. Darwin was captured. Synch was killed trying to escape, and was resurrected with all his memories. Wolverine was thought killed, so she was resurrected too, sans memories. Only she didn’t die, and Forge rescued an older version of Laura too.

And this Laura… still loves Everett! They get such a spectacular kiss, it almost ranks with Destiny and Mystique’s epic kiss in “Immortal X-Men.” So nice for romance to work and mutants to scrape together some happiness.

Of course this raises a big issue. Resurrecting the same person twice is a big no-no. It was already controversial to resurrect clones. How will young Laura react to her older self? I say get over it. Old Man Logan is such an enduring character, that they dragged him over for an alternate reality to team up with the X-Men. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen an Old Woman Laura either, she first appeared in the final arc of “All-New Wolverine.” If we can tolerate an Old Logan, we can certainly handle a much more plot-justified older Wolverine character says I.

But wait what about Darwin? He’s still lost! Are we going to launch another rescue attempt. Something tells me… not any time soon. Rest easy Armando, I’ll never forget you.

Don’t Think About White Elephant

The best part of the original 1988 “Inferno” (or at least the part that everyone remembers) is when dark magic brought various inanimate objects to life and attacked the populace. It’s the time Daredevil fought a vacuum cleaner. It’s a fun read, but you know what would make it better? What if Inferno was drawn by my favorite working comics artist, Rod Reis!?

By far the best issue of the last few months was the very very fun “Dark Web: X-Men.” This follows in the tradition of fun crossovers like “Empyre” and “Devil’s Reign.” Only in this issue, Rod Reis draws the Rockefeller Christmas Tree comic to life to eat Santa.

And that was actually Santa! Make Mine Multiversity podcast already covered Marvel Santa, and that dude is a mutant. At least that means he can get resurrected on Krakoa. The rest of the issue is fantastic; it does everything you’d want. Spider-Man teams up with his amazing friends Iceman and Firestar. A taxi shanked an uber. As in the cars. Havok put on his most embarrassing outfit (how I love to see Havok get clowned on). And then the X-Men played White Elephant.

The X-Men’s first annual gift exchange is just perfect. I’ve included the swap here to see for yourself. But Cyclops’ at the end there? This is the kind of writing the chef’s kiss is meant for.

 

X Books Read

“Legion of X” #7 – When this book finds focus, it is truly very good. Three-quarters of this issue felt focused.
“Legion of X” #8 – Sometimes you get a comic that is stubbornly trying to revive a terrible idea from the past, and that’s what this issue is trying to do with Nightcrawler and demons. Also, the guest spot from Black Knight was annoying, and didn’t reduce the bloated plot.
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“Marauders” #8 – What the HELL is this book about anymore? I like the anime-influenced art.
“Marauders” #9 – I’m really looking for stuff to like here, and I’m finding it, but not nearly as much as I’d like. The story is nonsense, but the smaller character moments and the visual design are neat.
“Sabretooth and the Exiles” #1 – And now for something completely different! Victor LaValle brings a wonderful, refreshing tone to the X-line.
“Wolverine” #27 – The less of Logan I see in his own book, the more I tend to like the issue.
“Immortal X-Men” #8 – An excellent flashback issue that works out the long history between Destiny, Mystique, and Mister Sinister.
“X-Men” #17 – While it doesn’t end with a bang, the adventures of Forge and Caliban in the Vault is sure to be a fondly remembered adventure
“X-Force” #34 – It’s not that this issue was bad, but it was so scattered, it’s hard to really look at it as a single story.
“X-Force” #35 – Wow, it’s been a lot of issue of X-Force. I like that all the antagonist have started to meet up to be a pirate crew, that’s fun.
“X-Men Red” #9 – Oh damn! Vulcan is a scary villain, and this is shaping up to be one of his more memorable rampages.
“Immortal X-Men” #9 – Mr. Sinister cloned a transubstantiated communion wafer. And also a Lying Cat parody with Cyclops’ visor. I think this is safely the most gonzo Kieron Gillen issue of X-Men in about a decade.
“Dark Web X-Men” #1 – Simply incredible, with guest star appearances from Spider-Man and Santa. Rob Reis draws a version of ‘Inferno’ is like a dream come true.


//TAGS | Mutantversity

Jaina Hill

Jaina is from New York. She currently lives in Ohio. Ask her, and she'll swear she's one of those people who loves both Star Wars and Star Trek equally. Say hi to her on twitter @Rambling_Moose!

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