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X-Men Mutantversity: An Omelette For Kings

By | April 6th, 2020
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Welcome back to Mutantversity, a class offered at the Krakoan Akademos Habitat. This isn’t a place to find big reviews of X-books, (that’s what our Review section is for!) but it’s a great way to keep up with one of the most complicated superhero series around. We’ll learn, we’ll laugh, we’ll appreciate what we’ve got when it’s gone. But most of all, we’re going to dive into the deep end as we try to parse all the secrets of this new era of “X-Men” comics. As your designated X-Pert, I will do my best to help you work through everything Marvel’s Merry Mutants have to offer!

I’m still excited for the upcoming “X of Swords,” so much so that I took the chance to look deeply into the history of the X-Men and their blades for the upcoming crossover. Now we are back to our regularly scheduled X-reporting. We’re going to be adding a new feature in the meantime: Sword Watch! The X-Men are drawing their blades, and we are going to keep track of them until the fateful day they have to use them.

Here’s how it’s going to go. First we’re going to recap the last month of the ongoing superhero soap opera that is “X-Men,” focusing on the titles that are really driving the story. Next, I’ll tell you which X-Men books I looked at this month, and whether I thought they were worth reading. Then, a brief interlude for Sword Watch! Finally, we’re going to award our very special Monthly Mutantversity Medals of Merit to close out these issues of “X-Men.” Stick with me true believers, and maybe we’ll survive this experience!

This Month in X-Men:

I have not been a fan of Kid Cable. I didn’t like him when he first showed up, and I haven’t loved him since… until now! Part of the appeal of Cable is his world-weariness. Not only is he the ultimate badass soldier, he’s seen eons of war. Knowing he had a whole epoch of experience meant that there were infinite stories to tell about Cable, and when you broke through his gruff and crusty exterior, you always found a caring, compassionate dude, someone who has always tried to stay strong in the face of tremendous destiny. Kid Cable has brought none of that, he’s been a violent, gun-loving action bro. He’s been an idiot who hands live grenades to potential allies. But now I sort of love him? What’s changed?

In his new series, Cable is still all of those things, but he’s also a bit more of a lovable doofus. You could see this guy as a guest on AEW’s “Being the Elite” YouTube series by which I mean, he’s simultaneously a warrior, a weeb, and a memelord. In this issue we see Cable as a role model to young mutants. We also see him as a horny teen flirt. But most importantly, we see him reacting to his circumstance as any of us reading the book would. By holding his space sword into the air and shouting, “This is so cool!”

That’s the key difference between young and old Cable. The appeal of the old character was his experience and his competence. When you take those things away, there needs to be something to fill that absence. The issue figures it out- it’s enthusiasm! Cable is going on rad adventures with swords, and teaming up with his fellow mutant teens, because it’s totally the rad thing to do. I can get behind that attitude!

A lot of villains ended up on Krakoa. For that matter, a lot of X-Men have done some pretty questionable things. The three Summers brothers are big time examples of this. Cyclops had his whole Dark Phoenix episode, followed up by his time as a violent revolutionary. (Let me state for the record that Cyclops Was Right). Havok kidnapped Janet Van Dynne and dragged her to a hell dimension for what certainly seemed like breeding purposes (I SWEAR I am not making that up). And Vulcan killed his dad and became the Emperor of the galaxy’s largest empire, triggering a campaign of genocide and war that probably resulted in the death of trillions. Not that this is a competition, but Vulcan probably won.

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Some people may not be too familiar with Gabriel Summers. He debuted in the story ‘Deadly Genesis’ (bad). He went on to be a major antagonist in ‘The Rise and Fall of the Shi’ar Empire’ (mixed bag). He also was the primary villain of “War of Kings” (good!). But what’s his deal? Well, he was the leader of the second team of X-Men. Not the one with Storm and Wolverine, the one that come before that. No, not the one with Iceman and Angel the one that came after that. There was an in-between team. Xavier originally trained four mutants- Vulcan, Darwin, Petra, and Sway- to go rescue Jean, Beast, Angel, and Iceman from Krakoa. (They were not as friendly with the island back in those days). It was a disaster. Petra and Sway were killed, Darwin got trapped in a ghost form, and Vulcan was trapped in a volcano. Xavier was so embarrassed that he uh, erased everyone’s memories of the incident and the people involved, including making everyone forget that Cyclops had a littlest brother. It is widely considered one of the shadiest things Xavier has ever done, and that’s a pretty competitive category.

When Vulcan was released from his magma prison many years later, he went on a murderous rampage starting with the classic X-Man Banshee (a death that stuck until “Dawn of X”). Seeking vengeance, Vulcan then turned his attentions to the Shi’ar and was staggeringly successful, marrying Deathbird and installing himself as Emperor. He’d always had a taste for Roman mythology, so he styled himself on one of those emperors, specifically Nero. It was a bad scene, and his war against the Kree and the Inhumans tore a hole in reality called the Fault.

So now he’s back, seemingly forgiven and mostly just guilty of the crime of being a huge tool. But all is not OK. We see in “X-Men” #8 that he has been drinking heavily and not only that, he’s been doing it with the also resurrected Petra and Sway. Neither of those two have ever been characters in any real sense but the story intention is clear- the three of them are joined by their shared trauma, and they sure as hell are not over it. But we also get flashes of what Vulcan is really scared of, and it seems to be his time lost in the Fault. That ain’t surprising. There are Cthulhu beasts on the other side of that, not to mention a Satanic team of alternate universe Avengers. (Comics are good sometimes).

But it might even be something darker than that. The Shi’ar data files are simple and vague, but they claim that Vulcan was never really dead. It sure seems like he was resurrected though. Is his body… still in the Fault, floating between different nightmare dimensions? Resurrection protocols are very concerned with not bringing back someone who is not verified to be dead, but there’s no bringing his body back from something like that. And what happens when they mess up? Keep an eye on this wannabe Caligula (yeah, he likes him too), it looks like he’s going to share some insight into what happens when everything goes wrong.

Honestly, I thought “Hellions” was going to be something of a mess. The character choices seemed random and esoteric, almost by design. But the book actually has a really clear mission statement. This is a collection of maladjusted mutants, who come just short of breaking the laws of Krakoa. The throughline is that they aren’t similar. They’ve got different troubles, and that’s what makes the series tick. They’re kind of like the Suicide Squad. All of them are ostensibly “villains,” but their reasons for being that way are all different. So let’s take a minute to go through who the whole roster.

First up, we’ve got Empath, who is one of the most irredeemable characters in “X-Men.” He was a member of the first Hellions, Emma Frost’s original Bad Kid Squad, who were the rivals to the classic New Mutants. Even in that team, Empath was the scariest, and with good reason. He can manipulate the emotions of those around him, and like Killgrave in Jessica Jones this has damaged him irreparably. This issue makes it a little more clinical, which is an interesting angle. Empath never really had a chance, his powers preclude him from making real human connections.

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Then we’ve got Nanny and Orphan Maker. These two haven’t been defined as clinically, but there are definite serial killer vibes. Nanny is the world’s creepiest mother figure (also a robo-egg) and Orphan Maker is a huge man-child and murderer. Their targets are “bad parents,” which usually ends up being parents who don’t properly appreciate their mutant kids. In this, their behavior seems compulsive, and it’s hard to see how they can avoid murdering humans. Therein lies the tension.

Next is Wild Child, who is one of a few mutants who have a power that makes them animalistic. This issue plays up the horror of that but making the only cure pills invented by Department H, which is not an organization known for respecting mutants. It also raises an interesting question about agency. If Wild Child is mutated to have the sophistication of a wolf, does he have the rights of a man? Or is he more like a pet? Or a wild animal? If Krakoa is all about embracing and accepting all mutants, Wild Child presents an obvious problem.

OK, and we’ve got to talk about John Greycrow. I’m going to try to avoid using his mutant codename in this column as much as I can going forward, because it is Scalphunter, and really? It’s not like John Greycrow isn’t an awesome name. Hopefully this series will give him a more sensitive sobriquet. John is an amoral mercenary type. He’s been a solder and a killer for hire. He’s done a lot of bad things. You know the type, he’s a hard man with a code. In this first issue, the Morlocks come after him on the anniversary of a heinous massacre he perpetuated against them. He kills them in self-defense, but is not interested in justifying his actions to the Quiet Council. This version of Greycrow is not as evil as Apocalypse, but his past associations cause the council to hold him to a different standard.

Lastly, we’ve got Havok and its his inclusion that sells me on the book. Since showing up in the Dawn of X, Alex Summers has seemed regular. But he’s done some shit, and has never been held accountable. In the “Axis” event, a whole bunch of characters got their moral alignment switched, and Havok was in the group that turned evil. At the end of that story, he was one of the few who didn’t switch back, and on his way out the door he kidnapped his ex the Wasp, in sexually charged scene that lacked a lot of consent. (He wanted to bring back their daughter who had been erased due to time travel. It was a whole icky thing). Now, Havok is having flashes of evil. He’s not a victim of his mutation, or some other compulsion. But he is the victim of a wacky magic spell that made him do some heinous stuff. I’m thrilled that he’s finally being narratively called out, but in a way that acknowledges that he’s different from the collection of compulsive murders he finds himself with. That makes him the Rick Flag of the group.

The group is put under the supervision of Psylocke (bad idea) and Sinister (really bad idea). But I find myself weirdly compelled by this teamup. You got a guy who never could develop emotionally because of his “superpower,” a pair of serial killers, a feral person, an uncaring merc, and a hero corrupted by a magic spell. Is there a way for them to survive in Krakoan society? Is there a way for them to be redeemed? And they are going up against Madelyne Pryor, the most wronged character in maybe all of comics. That’s a pretty winning premise.

This Month’s Books:
“Excalibur” #8 – A story of intersectionality, magic spells, mercy, girl power, interdimensional wolf monsters and table manners. This is what “Excalibur” is all about.
“Excalibur” #9 – This one’s more of a dense setup issue. It’s OK, but I am excited to get where it is going.
“Marauders” #9 – It’s a testament to the quality of this series that even when it focuses on characters I am less interested in (like Pyro), it’s still a swashbuckling good time!
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“X-Men” #8 – High levels of mayhem alongside some quiet character work. This is Hickman’s zany side. And Asrar is welcome on art!
“X-Men” #9 – A fun follow-up to the previous issue, but the sudden art shift back to Lenil Yu was a tough adjustment.
“Cable” #1 – Not what I was expecting at all. Duggan is selling me on lovable bro Cable, and this issue is a treat if you like Phil Noto art (which I very much do).
“New Mutants” #9 – Sort of a weird one. A lot of cool stuff happened, but the issue strangely lacked impact?
“X-Force” #9 – Half this issue (the part in the bar) was a delight. The other half (the part with the plant monsters) was fine.
“Hellions” #1 – A strong mission statement, makes for an OK debut. Sort of fun, sort of messy, kind of inelegant.
“Giant Size X-Men: Nightcrawler” #1 – Ladies and gentlemen, the incomparable Alan Davis! Paired with a modern talent like Hickman, he’s doing some of his best work in years.
“X-Men + Fantastic Four” #3 – Is it just me, or is everyone dumber and meaner in this series than in their regular books? It’s starting to wear me out.
“Wolverine” #2 – All of Percy’s strengths and flaws are readily apparent in this issue. Kubert puts in some excellent work though.

Sword Watch:

Cable: pulls the Light of Galador, the sword of Morn, the first Spaceknight, from the paw of a wild monster. And that’s a pretty rad sentence, right? The Spaceknights have very little to do with mutants, but that’s a mighty fine sword to wield in battle for our new favorite time-displaced soldier boy.

Magik: In “X-Men” #8, Ilyanna seems to be fighting with a regular ‘ol sword. I think. Her Soul Sword is unfeasibly large, about twice as wide as she is. It’s white with black engravings. This sword is a little glowy, but otherwise it looks like a regular sword. I made a big ‘ol deal of the fact that in the promo image for “X of Swords,” Ilyanna also seems to be wielding just a regular cool sword. I think it’s going to connect back to Kate Pryde, who is the only other person capable of wielding Ilyanna’s soul blade. Is this a teaser that I am right? Or proof that different artists draw the Soul Sword differently and I just need to chill? I hope it’s not the latter, I’ve got no chill.

The Mutantversity Monthly Medals of Merit:

The Cable’s Pouch of X-Treme Grittiness Award
Given to a mutant for demonstrating badassitude and commitment to the 90s aesthetic

Cable (duh)

Since this column started, I don’t think Cable has ever won his own award. His clone Stryfe has. His on-again, off-again girlfriend and partner Domino has. But not the inspiration for the whole aesthetic. What’s unique about Kid Cable’s victory though is how uniquely Millenial it feels. The original Cable had his heyday in the early 90s, with big guns and shoulderpads and all that Gen X flavored badassery. This Cable is a bit more emotionally availible, overtly friendly, and has a big anime sword. Those are the aesthetics of what I thought was cool when I was a tween in the late 90s. Hooray for updated references!

Merriest Mutant Award
Given to a mutant who found a rare moment of happiness

Dazzler

I’ve gotta imagine that Dazzler just wants to be on the road, living a life free from worry, playing gigs. This seems pretty close to perfect for her. She’s the in-house band at the first ever bar in the mutant homeland. She entertains people every day, and she doesn’t have to worry about the bad kind of drama. No getting kidnapped by interdimensional warlords, no bigots, no L.A. creeps. But plenty of monster fights, good natured brawls, and petty drama. All of the excitement, none of the heartbreak. Dazzler looks happy.

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“Professor Xavier is a Jerk” Award
Given to a mutant who acted like a real jerk

Empath

Mind control is scary. You see a lot of psychics winning this award (well, mostly Professor X). But having the temptation to control other people, that’s got to do things to your sense of self, to your ability to discern right from wrong. Empath is supposed to be a guy who never had a chance. He was born with his powers and thus, he’s only ever known a world where everyone feels what he wants them to feel. I don’t think that’s a real thing in psychology, it’s more of a Twilight Zone premise but boy, is it scary. I’m comfortable calling him a jerk though, because there are plenty of other comparably powered people who don’t use their powers this way. Jean Grey comes to mind. Betsy Braddock. Mystique deceives people sure, but she’s got a strong moral core. Empath is a monster and you could argue he doesn’t know any better, but I don’t see it that way. I see it that he’s a jerk!

Fastball Special Award
Given to a duo who exhibited great friendship, collaboration, and
teamwork

Captain Magik and Commander Cyclops

I’ve got this thing where I think superheroes using superpowers is underrated. Sure there are lots of fights and action scenes in superhero stories but considering how many of them there are, you rarely see a hero use their powers in a creative or thrilling way. And that’s part of the fundamental, childish appeal of this sort of thing. So, Magik opening a mess of portals to split Cyclops’ optic beams into many, in order to zap a horde of invading alien bugs? Cool! Cool cool cool! The characterization was just the wonderful icing on top. I love how throughout this scene (and series!) Magik has been unhinged, but in a really fun way. And Cyclops talks like a freakin’ dork, but he’s able to back up his uncool posturing with utter competance. Sometimes, superheroes just connect as warriors, and that’s exactly what’s been happening when you put together Cyclops and Magik.

Let’s Talk About X Baby Award
Given to the sweetest, sexiest, bestest romantic couple

Cable and Armor

There’s a friciton within the “X-Men” franchise. Sometimes it’s about sexy mal-adjusted 40 year olds. And sometimes it’s about unsupervised teens. Lately the comics have been really leaning into the former so it’s kind of nice to have a return to the latter. Cable and Armor are both incredibly independent, but they’re still a little young, a little inexperienced. They know what they want and how to ask for it, but they haven’t necessarily had the opportunity before. Seeing them try at flirting together was a nice reminder, for me at least, of how it felt to be in college, or camping with a big group of friends. It’s the thrill of knowing that there’s no boss. Cable and Armor really challenged the feeling of being young adults who are definitely not in love, but figuring out how to have a good time together.

MVX: Most Valuable X-Man
Given to an X-Man who embodied the values of the team and showed all around X-cellence

Broo

This little guy is criminally underrated, but this month is the absolute MVX. Broo is a member of the Brood, an alien hivemind that is 100% what Chris Claremont came up with when he came out of a screening of Alien. Broo, is a mutant Brood, and his mutation is that he is an independent thinker. He’s not a slavering monster obeying the will of the queen. He loves to read. He’s erudite. He’s kind. He’s the Avenger’s IT guy. It’s hard not to love him.

It seemed like Broo was going to be a loyal background player on Krakoa. I’m delighted that he fits in on the paradise island, and can even balance his job working for the more mainstream superheroes. Broo is a guy making it work. So color me shocked when not only did he have a big part to play in the conflict with his species, he ended up erm, becoming their ruler? The data pages indicate that this will only last “5-10 standard Kree Cycles,” however long that is. But now Broo commands a whole species, a powerful new alliance for the mutants. He stands apart, he is unique, and he is special. Witness mutant supremacy indeed. Broo is the best because he always manages to remain kind and humble.


//TAGS | Mutantversity

Jaina Hill

Jaina is from New York. She currently lives in Ohio. Ask her, and she'll swear she's one of those people who loves both Star Wars and Star Trek equally. Say hi to her on twitter @Rambling_Moose!

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