Welcome back to Mutantversity, a class offered at the Krakoan Akademos Habitat. This isn’t a place to find big reviews of X-books, (that’s what our Review section is for!) but it’s a great way to keep up with one of the most complicated superhero series around. We’ll learn, we’ll laugh, maybe we’ll do some crimes to support our love for flowers. Most of all, we’re going to dive into the deep end as we try to parse all the secrets of this new era of “X-Men” comics. As your designated X-Pert, I will do my best to help you work through everything Marvel’s Merry Mutants have to offer!
This month almost broke me. In last month’s installment, I had to read and cover six titles, which felt like a lot. Ha ha ha. This month there were sixteen X-titles shipped, and I am still reeling. So stay tuned for some adjustments and special features as we learn to adapt to the ‘Dawn of X.’
First we’re going to recap the last month of the ongoing superhero soap opera that is “X-Men,” focusing on the titles that are really driving the story. Next, I’ll tell you which X-Men books I looked at this month, and whether I thought they were worth reading. Finally, we’re going to award our very special Monthly Mutantversity Medals of Merit to close out these issues of “X-Men.” Stick with me true believers, and maybe we’ll survive this experience!
This Month In X-Men
Though Krakoa remains relatively at peace, it is threatened by enemies on all sides. And really, that sentence sums up the X-Men entirely. Peace for them is when the enemies are relatively small scale and just really love flowers.
That’s the deal with Hordeculture, an alliance of octogenarian women who try to keep their language clean, wield terrifying biotech weapons, and will do anything to see an undiscovered blossom. They make quick work of Pixie and Rockslide, preserving them in some kind of stasis goo. I think Hordeculture sort of rules? Supervillains with silly gimmicks seem so old school, I’m glad someone is still trying to invent some new ones.
After Hordeculture has some unkind words to say about Emma Frost, the team is ready to whoop their aged asses, but for a single member of the Krakoan Council- Sebastian Shaw wants to talk. He makes the pitch that he gets these ladies, he gets wanting to steal and be bad, and really they can all be friends. He gets a face full of goo for his trouble and gets positively trounced. I wasn’t sure how I felt about having Sebastian Shaw back in play, but he’s mostly around to get clowned on, so I can get down with that. Shaw is such a gross guy, but I can’t deny I am happy to see him get his over and over again. I’m really a simple man.
The situation is somewhat resolved with violence. Scott optic blasts the old ladies until he too is gooed. It takes Emma turning into diamonds to scare Hordeculture off. Sort of. It turns out, those ladies already had what they needed- samples of Krakoan flowers to experiment on, plus they’ve hacked the gates. And then they’re off.
It’s the perfect kind of Hickman foreshadowing. A weird new villain, set up early in the run, ready to make a triumphant comeback when their skills are needed most. It happened in his “Avengers” run with Ex Nihilo and Abyss, not to mention the evil alternate universe Avengers and the Zebra kids. He likes seeding story elements like this. And I like reading them. Plus as I mentioned, Hordeculture sort of rules. Anyone who dunks on Shaw like that earns my respect.
Next, the Krakoan Council takes a trip to the Davos World Economic Forum. This is a real annual event, largely held behind closed doors, where the unifying trait of the attendees is their great wealth. It’s honestly pretty disturbing. But Krakoa is now a huge economic player, and so they make their debut. They are represented by Magneto, Professor X, and Apocalypse, with Cyclops and Gorgon acting as security. Good thing too, as there are two goon squads waiting to kill them all.
Continued below
The issue is thrilling but doesn’t do too much to move the plot forward. It’s more reflective- Krakoa is here to stay, and it has consequences. Humans continue to attack and oppress mutants wherever they can. And mutants have a new way of dealing with things. We do learn a bit about the structure of the Krakoan Captains- after the hit squad tried to kill Professor X, Gorgon was made the bodyguard of all council members. And that dude does not mess around.
Anyway, speaking of disgusting displays of wealth, how about that Sebastian Shaw? Check in with the guy in Hellfire Bay to see what he’s really like. Sebastian has The Five resurrect his son, Shinobi Shaw in order to… I’m the first to admit that I don’t get it. I mean, I’m not illiterate, I can see what they are up to. But deep down, I don’t understand. Sebastian wants a son and heir to torment in order to create a worthy successor. It means so much to him that this agent who will be a thorn in the side of his ostensible allies is his own flesh and blood. He takes pride but not enough to, you know, not be an abusive creep?
The two of them act amiable, but there’s an awful lot of talk over murdering each other. Well who is this Shinobi Shaw guy, and why should anyone care?
You probably know Sebastian Shaw. He’s frequently the leader of the Hellfire Club, a rich asshole with the power to turn getting hit into more hitting power. You punch him, you power up his next punch. Dude was played by Kevin Bacon in a movie. You get it.
Shinobi on the other hand is eternally a punk, the kind of rich kid whose growth was stunted by having a possessive and disinterested parent. He’s got density powers, and frequently rolls with the upstarts, a gang of rich 20-somethings who are really into The Most Dangerous Game. Shinobi wears a lot of expensive robes and talks about his debauchery in a way that makes you suspect that no money in the world is enough to make people go to his orgies. He’s a supremely lonely being. And I can’t bring myself to give a single care for his problems.
Well, Sebastian gives Shinobi a slick submarine and a purpose- to get revenge on those who wronged him. He of course means his enemies (who are also his allies) Kate Pryde and Emma Frost, the respective Red and White Queens of the Hellfire Club. It puts another chaotic element in play, and really makes you question why anyone would trust the Shaws in the first place.
After Shinobi is made the Black Bishop, the other two Monarchs of the club appoint Bishops of their own. In fact, Kate appoints Lucas Bishop as the Red Bishop of the Club. He seems pretty reluctant, but that’s just his style. Emma on the other hand, goes with a family member- her brother, Christian Frost. This is good news for Iceman, who has an extremely flirty relationship with Christian. The two of them have crackling chemistry.
And while the Shaws are up to some unsavory game, Kate and Emma build trust between them. They share a drink, exchange kind words, reminisce about their past mistakes, they even hug. I wasn’t a Kate and Emma shipper- I mean I’m not! I mean… a lot of characters have a lot of chemistry, OK? Blerg!
We also learn who is behind all this bad news- Kade Kilgore, the young leader of a shadowy cabal called Homines Verendi. Kade leads a gang of hateful, psychotic, and wealthy 12 year olds in their own version of the Hellfire Club. Kate and the gang don’t yet realize that their enemy is a really annoying kid.
And speaking of really annoying kids… Quentin Quire is back, and he’s working black ops for Krakoa. It sort of doesn’t jive with his characterization for the last couple of years, but if you look at the whole life of the character it actually makes total sense.
Continued below
Ever since graduating from Wolverine’s mutant school, Quentin has been a lovable jerk, whining and causing drama, but generally saving the day. The thing is, if you think back to Quentin’s first ever appearance in Grant Morrison and Frank Quietly’s “New X-Men” #134, he was a budding little proto-fascist. At the time, I remember the character feeling cartoonish. Do teens today really buy into that jackboots and superiority crap? On this side of the 2010s, I can now see that Quentin was ahead of his time.
So it makes sense to me that Krakoa would cause him to regress. He thinks he’s a superior being. He wants to hurt people who he views as lesser. When the power dynamics shifted, Quentin found himself in a position to follow his true heart. I’m sure there are some Quentin/Gwenpool shippers crying foul, but I like that Quentin is being used to explore this sort of troubled kid.
Quire and Wolverine are on the same mission- to track Domino. The assassins that took out Charles Xavier were.. um, wearing… er, oh jeez her uh… skin? What the actual hell? So, while Beast and Jean try to figure out the logistics of rebooting Professor X, Quentin and Wolverine fight gooey 3D printed assassins. And they do find Domino, revealed on a final splash page to be skinned and in a tube. On the one hand: gross. On the other hand: not a twist. We already knew the bad guys were wearing her skin. Don’t make me feel jaded about this.
There’s no feeling jaded about “New Mutants,” a joyful book that is making a strong case for being the best of the X-Line. Despite being beaten and jailed, the younger X-kids are having a hell of a time. There’s something about being a young superhero that makes you certain things are going to work out- just take a look at Quentin Quire. I’m assuming that dying and coming back twice before you turn 25 convinces you not to worry about the consequences of things.
So when the New Mutants are given a life sentence it seems dire for a second- because then Sam Guthrie shows up! He’s the mutant known as Cannonball and you might not realize it, but he’s appeared in more issues of Marvel comics than many other characters- he’s for sure in the top 100 with over 750 major appearances. But what’s his deal?
Well, he’s the oldest brother of the expansive Guthrie family of mutants. Sam was already working in the Kentucky coal mines before he was 18. He quickly went on to lead the New Mutants alongside Dani Moonstar. Sam also befriended the love of his life, Roberto de Costa aka Sunspot. But then Sam and Roberto were recruited to join the Avengers and they kind of hit the big leagues. Because while Sunspot tried to revolutionize what it means to be a modern superhero, Cannonball fell in love and got married.
So Sam’s wife: her name is Izzy Kane and she sort of rules. I mean, if you go to a Jewish summer camp as a kid (which I did) you meet Izzy’s type: a badass bossy Jewish girl who’s really close with her granddad. I promise you it’s a thing. And Sam, being a smart guy, locked it the hell down and married that girl. They even had a kid, future superhero Josiah.
You’ve just got to love all the body language in the scene where Sam and Izzy come to pick up the New Mutants to be their “jailers.” Sam gets into a classic hands-on-hips hero pose. He looks like a big dork. Izzy is slouching behind him. She knows the score. When your spouse’s five best friends are arrested in your hometown, you’ve gotta go bail them out, but that means finding a sitter and going for a long drive, and ain’t nobody wants that.
There’s also the rest of the gang. The OG New Mutants- Cypher, Magik, Karma, Wolfsbane, and Mirage- all tackle Sam with a big group hug. My heart feels like clouds. And then in the background you’ve got Chamber and Mondo who are along for the ride, but aren’t really close with any of those people.
Continued belowYou’ve also gotta love how artist Rod Reis draws Cannonball. Sam was a weird looking kid with big ears and a long face. He’s grown into a passably handsome adult, but you can see the awkward teenager in there. Drawing people convincingly age over time is one of the hardest things a comic artist can do (in my humble opinion). This is stellar work from Reis. Every character looks different; they resemble their old selves while looking like modern adults.
When Izzy finally does punch Sunspot in the face (and come one, you knew that was coming), it’s even for the sweetest reason. It’s not because the New Mutants antics dragged her away from her work on the front lines of the Shi’ar battle with the Skrulls. It’s not that they had to hire an emergency babysitter. Well, it’s not only those things. It’s that after all she, and all that Sam, did for their friends, Roberto isn’t even grateful. He’s jealous of Sam’s good physique and easy smile and clear skin. He doesn’t want to see his best friend so happy and healthy without him. And Izzy isn’t having it. “So maybe get up off your pampered rear end, give your best friend a proper hello and let’s go home. Okay?” Does everyone have a relationship like this with their best friend’s wife? No, just me? I’m basic.
The book continues to be a perfect representation of itself, but the ending promises a bold new tone and direction: the return of Lady Deathbird! We’ll talk Deathbird when she makes her triumphant return. For now, understand that Shi’ar Imperial politics can be quite involved and Deathbird has a pretty strong claim to the throne. Also, she used to be married to Vulcan.
But before we get a chance to see what Deathbird does to the team dynamic, “New Mutants” becomes a completely different book! We jump to a brand new story starring Armor, Boom Boom, and Glob, as they check in with mutants who have for whatever reason, ended up living off of Krakoa. Their first stop is to check in with Beak and Angel Salvadore, who had a dozen children together by the time they were twenty- it’s a mutant thing, it’s got to do with flies mostly, and early 2000s racism a little.
Angel is Latina you see, and comes from an abusive home. Her mutant power is highly corrosive vomit. She fled to the Xavier school and immediately hooked up with Beak, suddenly birthing more children than they could afford to raise. I’m happy to give their creator, Grant Morrison, the benefit of the doubt (though you are under no obligation to do the same). I think he, a Scotsman, was trying to say something about American politics in 2001, and just didn’t really get there. Then Angel was turned into a stripper played by Zoe Kravitz in the 2011 movie X-Men First Class. What a wild path for a character to have taken!
Somewhere along the way, Angel and her beau Beak became beloved fan-favorite characters, and in this story they are treated with love and appreciation- sort of. Times are tough for this mutant family. Beak’s dad is very sick, and can’t be moved. Well that’s no problem in a world with Krakoan drugs- the X-kids are happy to help out! But a local dirtbag smells a scheme, and kidnaps the whole damn family. Things are looking dire when Boom Boom shows up, bottle of whiskey in hand and explosions also in hand. Now things are still looking dire, but a lot more fun.
Not having fun? Gambit, who is still really worried about his wife Rogue. She’s been in a magical Krakoan fairy coma since issue #1 of “Excalibur,” and he’s not doing so great. (She has already woken up, and probably has some rad new fairy powers now). The Ragin’ Cajun gets into a fight with some human bigots, a fight that Rictor and Jubilee are pretty cavalier about joining, but they are all bailed out by Captain Britain, who arrives on the scene with Pete Wisdom.
Quick rundown on Agent Pete- he’s a mutant, but he doesn’t live on Krakoa. Why not? Because he is first and foremost loyal to the Crown. He loves England! His powers are that he can shoot “hot knives” which is just a dumb/fancy way to say “finger lasers.” Kate Pryde also lost her virginity to him an a story written at the low point of Warren Ellis’ career, and lots of people would rather forget that ever happened.
The important takeaway is that Captain Britain reaffirmed her vows to the crown and made her loyalties clear. As a mutant, Betsy is a citizen of Krakoa, but she is still sworn to protect England in all matters deemed “Otherworldly.” And she plans to uphold that oath! Tall order Bets!
As for the rest of the team, well, Morgan Le Fey is circling in and they are getting ready to do battle! Oh, and Rictor is totally a Druid. A Druid-by-Birth. Well that rules. He can control the Earth, Druids love the Earth, readers love Rictor. Good stuff!
As for the Fallen Angels… the thread of that book is increasingly incoherent. Psylocke continues to school her mighty warrior comrades in the art of combat. And that seems… unnecessary. If anything, I feel like Cable and X-23 have a lot to offer Psylocke. They have deeper resumes, and a more successful track record as superheroes. But at last, the team came face to face with their nemesis. I’m seeing this book through to the end.
Oh and surprise, “Gwenpool Strikes Back” ended on Krakoa! Now Gwenpool is immortal textually and meta-textually! She retconned herself into being a mutant, so now she can take advantage of Krakoan resurrection. And “X-Men” is way popular, so she can keep herself relevant by hanging out in their book. Now that’s some good superheroing. Maybe Gwenpool will lead the next iteration of the Fallen Angels, along with Jumbo Carnation and Bill the Lobster.
This Month’s X-Books:
“X-Men” #3 – I thought Hordeculture was a fabulous new villain, and this issue continued to be fun.
“X-Men” #4 – The title of this issue is ‘Global Economics,’ and I found it riveting.
“Marauders” #3 – Shaw is not my favorite character to follow, but this series still rocks my world.
“Marauders” #4 – Things are heating up. This book continues to thrill.
”Marauders” #5 – Emotional highs, great use of powers, I hope you are reading this book.
“New Mutants” #2 – A strong contender for the objectively best ‘Dawn of X’ book.
“New Mutants” #3 – A new cast of characters, but the series stays strong.
“New Mutants” #4 – It wasn’t a one shot, we’re still with the other cast of heroes! I like the anthology feeling of this series.
“X-Force” #2 – Better than issue #1, still probably the weakest book of the bunch.
“X-Force” #3 – Covers a lot of ground the first issue should have. This feels like it could be a big turning point for the better.
“X-Force” #4 – In a lot of ways, this series is coming together. It still feels a bit all over the place in other ways.
“Excalibur” #4 – A focus on Jubilee, Rictor, and Gambit gives this excellent dreamlike series some momentum.
“Fallen Angels” #2 – Also better than the first issue, also notably weaker than the rest of the line.
“Fallen Angels” #3 – “I don’t understand any of this,” X-23 says to Psylocke, and that also describes this issue.
“Fallen Angels” #4 – This series feels like it’s falling apart at the seams.
“Gwenpool Strikes Back” #5 – Brilliantly fun, and secretly an “X-Men” tie-in you don’t wanna miss!
The Mutantversity Monthly Medals of Merit:
The Cable’s Pouch of X-Treme Grittiness Award
Given to a mutant for demonstrating badassitude and commitment to the 90s aesthetic
Psylocke
As a series, “Fallen Angels” is kind of a trainwreck, but the most admirable thing it is trying to accomplish is establishing Psylocke aka Kwannon, as a real character. For better or worse, her character seems to be a humorless ninja warrior in a swimsuit. But you know who sold a ton of action figures in the 90s? Psylocke with Betsy Braddock’s brain. If we could embrace the character then, we certainly can embrace the character now! Katanas and grimaces are cool, right?
Continued below
“Call Me Alex” Award
Given to a mutant filled with self-loathing about their identity
Domino
At the end of her week of torture, Domino got a pretty cool new tree-infused body. But ‘torture’ was really the operative word in that sentence right? Sure, Neena knows the score. She’s an incredibly lucky black ops badass right? But her luck ran out, and her mission went south in a bad way. She was skinned like she was trapped in that really nasty season of Game of Thrones, she lost her eye. Domino normally seems unflappable, but you can tell she’s not 100% all right at the moment. Her dangerous life is made all the more dangerous by the hatred her enemies feel for her.
“Professor Xavier is a Jerk” Award
Given to a mutant who acted like a real jerk
Sebastian Shaw
Obviously it’s not a surprise that Sebastian Shaw is a jerk, but being predictable doesn’t disqualify you from this list. What’s impressive is how far-reaching his assholery stretches (sorry/not sorry). He resurrects his son, mostly just to torment him. Then he conspires to betray his comrades, company, and country. The man knows no loyalty, and sells out all his allies for petty rewards. And then he is extremely rude to Hordeculture, the best new villain team of 2019! Shaw is the kind of guy who will curse out an old lady he just met. Hell with this guy.
Merriest Mutant Award
Given to a mutant who found a rare moment of happiness
Forge
Fastball Special Award
Given to a duo who exhibited great friendship, collaboration, and teamwork
Cyclops and Magneto
While Magneto was eating Waygu Beef in Davos, Cyclops was punching out a hit squad one floor above. Now, Scott Summers is an experienced superhero, so he’s able to do violence while still obeying the law to “Murder No Man.” But it was still a trying fight, and one of the goons had him dead to rights. And Magneto, the freaking master of Magnetism managed to be a triple threat- he ate his fancy dinner, threatened the richest people in the world, and used his powers to jam the gun, one floor up. I’ve been a huge fan of the burgeoning respect that’s grown between Cyclops and Magneto in the last 10 years of comics, and seeing them watch each others backs like this brings a smile to my face.
Let’s Talk About X Baby Award
Given to the sweetest, sexiest, bestest romantic couple
Angel and Beak
I spoke at some length about Beak and Angel above, but I am sincerely glad that they are back. To me, they represent a difficult storytelling challenge- how do you tell compelling stories that touch upon problematic stories of the past? (The current Psylocke series is another example of this phenomena). In this case, everything that happened to Beak and Angel happened and now… they are just two young people in love, trying to raise their families. And sure, they are brought back into the story by comic book conflict, but every moment they are on the page together glows with their warmth and love. Sometimes, couples are sexy because they got drama. These two are sexy for the opposite reason.
MVX: Most Valuable X-Man
Given to an X-Man who embodied the values of the team and showed all around X-cellence
Captain Britain
The best “X-Men” stories are about reconciling different identities. What is it like to be religious and a mutant, or a patriot and a mutant? Real people have to reconcile different parts of their self all the time, and the X-Men are no different. And one mutant who has got it rough right now is Betsy Braddock, who is sworn to protect two nations. But instead of wringing her hands and angsting she just… kind of crushes it? “Excalibur” has a big supporting cast so we haven’t seen too too much of Betsy yet, but in issue #4 she approaches an angry mob with cool confidence and deescalates a tough situation. It’s unfortunately that the X-Men are often put in situations where they need to deescalate but as Gambit, Rictor, and Jubilee prove in the same issue, it’s not an easy calling. In her new role as Captain Britain, Betsy has chosen what is important to her, and it is her people- all of them. Being dragged in multiple directions is the destiny of an X-Man. Effortlessly mastering disparate roles is what makes you the MVX.
