Secret Wars #4 Cover Columns 

Secret Wars Service: “Secret Wars” #4 [Review/Recap]

By | July 2nd, 2015
Posted in Columns | 7 Comments

When the Marvel Universe is gone, all that remains is Secret Wars Service: the new Multiversity Comics column looking to dig through the dense adventure that is Jonathan Hickman and Esad Ribic’s “Secret Wars”. As is per usual with our recap columns, we’ll do a spoiler-free review followed by a more thorough recap with spoilers.

Review

Written by Jonathan Hickman
Illustrated by Esad Ribic

ALL THE ANGELS SING!

The weirdest thing about “Secret Wars” is how, despite the multiversal explosions and zombie Ultrons or whatever, it’s probably one of the more personal crossovers in a while. What was expected to be a battle for all of reality has quickly turned into the story of one man doing what he can to protect the world he’s carved out for himself from those who would see it undone. That’s not the type of story you’d get in something like, oh, “Fear Itself.” “Secret Wars” is kind of the best comic ever for anyone who’s a fan of Doctor Doom and Jonathan Hickman writing Doom. If you don’t like either of those things though, I’m sorry but this comic is not for you and you are also incredibly wrong.

While Doom’s ascension to the role of “main character of the Incursion storyline” seems rather sudden, it’s really just an extension of everything we saw in Doom from Hickman’s work on “New Avengers” and “Fantastic Four.” For the first time in possibly ever, Doom out smarted Reed Richards. He outthought the Illuminati and actually won. And now, the facade of the god king is beginning to slip now that the accursed Richards is back to take everything from him. This is a bold direction to take a company wide crossover in, but one that’s supported by the very real relationships between characters. Though some characters are rough and or don’t get enough screen time (COUGH CYCLOPS COUGH), the tension between Reed and Doom is enough to carry the book.

And of course, that tension has become ever more charged now that Doom is an actual god. And Esad Ribic rightfully depicts him as such. Doom can go from lounging in his throne to slaughtering enemies in seconds. And all the while, he always looks like more than a mere man. Plus, Ribic has an eye for details, from the small to the brutal. Doom’s mask melting under the Phoenix’s fire is one memorable moment, as is the battle of the Thors vs The Cabal. What’s also interesting about the art is Ive Svorcina’s use of color. The Battleworld night is a cool blue until Doom releases his full power, at which point it comes aflame. There’s even an incredible realistic use of shadow that proves Svorcina absolutely knows what he’s doing. And letterer Chris Eliopoulos’s lettering really helps sell the impact of the fighting. Sound effects scream across the battlefield as heroes die and somehow aren’t completely intrusive. They blend very well into the art to enhance it, not distract from it.

Final Verdict: 8.8 – To no one’s surprise, we’re still enjoying “Secret Wars” a lot. While God Doom may take some focus away from the other characters, he’s still such an incredible vision of the character that he can rightfully take an issue or two. And with the frankly incredible art involved, I don’t think anyone will really mind his presence. Hail Doom.

Now then. Full spoilers from here on out.

Recap

Last time on “Secret Wars”, The Cabal got in a fight with the Thors Corps. How’s that going?

My favorite part of this page? Maximus jamming on the air guitar in the back.

While Max fights off the Thors with the sheer power of Rock ‘n’ Roll, Doctor Strange explains to the 616 survivors and Miles how Doom created Battleworld. Or at least he would if Star-Lord would stop fucking blazing it up in his house.

Fun fact: the original draft of this comic called for Star-Lord asking for Strange’s vape. Marvel made Hickman and Ribic change that, but not the obvious joint he’s holding.

Continued below

Anyway, Strange explains that he and Doom killed the Beyonoders which seems pretty darn unlikely. For one: they’re the Beyonoders. One of those had Jheri curls and almost destroyed the Earth. What do you think a dozen non-Jheri Beyonoders could do? Anything they want. Also, Strange’s flashbacks show no sign of Molecule Man who was present with Doom and Strange. I’m going to say he went ahead and sacrificed himself in an act that gave Doom his powers. Then Doom threw up that statue of him earlier as an “LOLTHX” present.

Suddenly, it hits everyone that most of their loved ones died. Especially Miles who just realized he’s going to have to move to the 616 without any of his supporting cast.

If you want some horrific imagery, picture Ganke playing with his Lego set, looking up to see the incursion, and just dying without Miles being able to do anything about it, only to realize his friend died hours later. This is a column with wacky jokes!

Strange explains that some pieces of everyone’s worlds still remain and that it’s really the only option they could have had besides dying. Unfortunately, the sounds of someone explaining their rational solution summons OMEGA LEVEL DOUCHE PHOENIX CYCLOPS!

“Could I conceivably burn this world and create a new one where every woman is Jean Grey? Like they would line up for miles just to come and kiss me? I’m going to do that. I’m going to kill everyone and then make out with a billion Jeans. This is the best option.”

“Scott, no.”

“SCOTT YES!”

Before Scott can explain what he’s going to do with the Emma Frosts and Wolverines of the world, Rookie Cop Thor gets a call on his hammer because Doom could rebuild an entire universe but couldn’t spring for walkie talkies. The call is coming from Boar Thor (Bhor) who’s fighting the Cabal. Because Corvus Glaive is too much of a threat for the Thors to handle, Bhor calls on Doom for help. Doom gets Bhor’s holographic call and checks out the battle on his special god map thing. There, he sees the Cabal, survivors from an actual universe he thought dead, and is immediately bored. Doom has done nothing for four issues but sit on his throne. You’d think he’d have time to check on the Cabal, whether they’re “gnats below him” or not. He also continues to no-sell the whole thing even when actual Avengers show up.

Because that’s the cover to “New Avengers” #7. Wow, Black Panther and Namor’s relationship really never moved past the whole “gonna kill each other” thing.

Doom’s disinterest continues until Mr. Fantastic shows up and Sue Storm is like “wow who’s that hot piece of dadbod?” Doom kind of just covers Sue’s eyes with his hands and talks out loud about how he has been searching for Reed on Battleworld for years. Probably in a Hannibal way where he’s not sure if he’s going got kill his worst enemy or make out with him.

At the sight of Reed, Doom teleports to the battlefield and instinctively begins screaming.

“Polo!”

Everyone calls out Doom for being just an enormous douche by making himself a god (and saving everyone but whatever). Even Thanos joins in with the name calling, as if he’s not a dude who’s been trying to bone the embodiment of death since he was a teenager. Doom’s response is to blow everything up while Dr. Strange teleports everyone way. Thankfully, Strange is too late to stop this.

I honestly cheered. I don’t think Cyclops is in any of the October books I took four seconds to look at but if he is, his broken corpse should be carried around by one of the teams in a Weekend at Bernie’s scenario.

Doom yells at Stephen for teleporting everyone away and Strange says he does not any of his old friends hurt. Surprisingly, Doom isn’t like “Even Star-Lord? Dude’s been relevant for a year and he already stole your vape.” Before Strange can point out that maybe not everyone from the universe before should be slaughtered like dogs, Doom explodes Stephen’s body right there on the spot. Scratch that. I want the Aaron and Bachalo’s “Doctor Strange” to be the Weekend at Bernie’s comic.

And with that, another issue of “Secret Wars” comes to an end. Our heroes are scattered across the planet and Doom is not only ready to slaughter them, but he is completely naked underneath his robe. No seriously, look at him. He’s just wearing a cloak, a belt, and metal. Every issue proves my running theory that Battleworld is just one of Stefan’s clubs.


//TAGS | Secret Wars Service

James Johnston

James Johnston is a grizzled post-millenial. Follow him on Twitter to challenge him to a fight.

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