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The Weekend Week In Review (6/18/2011)

By | June 18th, 2011
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Want to keep up with the ever-advancing continuity porn of the DC and Marvel universes, but simply don’t have the time or money to buy every ongoing? We’re here to help. The Weekend Week In Review aims to give you ((usually) very) brief synopses of what happened in a select few of DC and Marvel’s titles – with a helping of sarcastic commentary – so that when some nasty old writer wants to punish you by heavily referencing a title you didn’t pick up, you won’t be left in the dark. Of course, that means that spoilers are in abundance after the cut, but I figure that you could figure that out.

In Batman #711, Two Face teamed up with the Riddler to snatch Gilda Dent from Mario Falcone’s clutches. Turns out she’s not so evil after all. While these two conspirators conspired, Dick was hot on their trail, busting up goons in order to find up what these two were up to. Kitrina Falcone — alias Catgirl — managed to stay one step ahead of the guy in the batsuit who had been doing this since he was her age, leaving behind clues and hints that didn’t really help in any way. She also, apparently, can keep on her feet after being shoved through a windshield. That’s alright, though, because in this issue Dick punched one of the Riddler’s henchmen in the gut so hard that he vomited profusely on one of his co-workers while the punch was still connecting (see above). I take back everything I’ve said about Tony Daniel’s Batman run. That’s pure gold.

Everyone in the world of Flashpoint is angry about something. Aquaman blames surface-dwellers for the death of Mera. Abin Sur is frustrated with the Guardians for still refusing to listen to him. Brainiac just wants a decent pair of pants. You get the picture. In the first issue of tie-in mini Wonder Woman and the Furies, we learned that the reason the Theymiscarans are so pissed at the Atlanteans is because they assassinated Queen Hippoltoya at Diana and Orrin’s politically-motivated wedding. Of course, there’s a catch. The assassin wasn’t actually an Atlantean. It was Artemis, wearing Atlantean armor. Seems like members of both sides wereso against the political union that they would have their own killed to stop it. On the bright side, both Orrin and Diana were saved from having to attend some very awkward family reunions.

Half of Avengers #14 consisted of the Avengers continuing their oral history of the team. The other half was devoted to Red Hulk bravely getting the tar beaten out of him by the Worthy-fied Thing. Contrast is a very important narrative device. Much like Jeff Parker’s work on the character in Hulk, it was a humanizing experience that helped me connect more with a character whose characterization had previously consisted solely of being a gigantic ass. Still, the part of me that wasn’t quite sold on Rulk as a “legitimate” character gained an incredible amount of satisfaction with each hammer blow to the face.

After the cliffhanger ending of the previous issue, Uncanny X-Men #538 revealed that Kitty wasn’t dead after all. After cutting Pryde’s throat with a knife, Haleena then did that same sort of life transferal process that had brought Pete back to life a while back. I, for one, am shocked that the last page of a comic would lie to me. After learning this following a scuffle with the X-Men, Kruun gave up a portion (but not all) of his own life to bring Haleena back. I’m confused as to why she didn’t do that in the first place (or why she slashed up Kitty in the first place), but I guess the answer is “comics!” After mutants and breakworlders made up — after all, this was all Kruun’s plot, no one else’s — the X-Men were able to find a home for the aliens in an abandoned neighborhood in San Francisco. California plans to show their appreciation through Proposition 8.5, limiting marriage to a human man and a human woman.

Continued below

At the beginning of Supergirl #65, Lois Lane encountered a strange incoherent girl being pursued by flying robot monkeys (this is off to a great start already). After Supergirl and Starman (the blue one) chased the cybernetic simians off, Lois was able to find out that this girl, Charlize, was from a college that had experienced a few disappearances, and that all of those disappeared students were orphans — like Charlize. Supergirl was soon on the case, posing as Lois’s niece for a prospective students weekend. While on campus, Kara encountered a fifth-year senior named Henry, who claimed to have calculated a formula that could determine who was going to be abducted next; and, according to that formula, it was Henry. Considering he is one of the most obnoxious characters I’ve encountered in a while, I am so very glad that he was right.

What happened to Red Hulk was merely a love tap compared to how badly the Grey Gargoyle smacked around Tony Stark in Invincible Iron Man #505. Luckily, Detroit Steel was there to save th– no, wait, he got turned into a statue and smashed. USA! USA! Anyway, after slicing the Worthy behemoth with a pretty rad repulsor blade, Tony made a hasty getaway to Stark Resilient to patch himself up. After exchanging a few words with Pepper and Bethany, Tony made an equal hasty departure… this time with Pepper’s booze in tow. Don’t worry, he isn’t regressing. There’s just a housewarming party that he has to get to. The end of the world can wait.

In Batgirl #22, Stephanie Brown finally made her way across the pond to England after being assigned there way back in Batman: The Return. Teaming up with Squire, Steph was able to put an end to a plot by a group of Dickens-inspired baddies to manipulate the Greenwich Mean to freeze time and get revenge on Cyril. Someone’s been watching a bit too much Doctor Who, eh?

…wait a minute, that joke was already made in the comic. I’ll get you next time, B.Q. Miller!

Daken: Dark Wolverine #10 had Wolverine’s favorite son attending a famous actor’s party, finding a drug that could actually harm him – which the rich and famous have been buying from the still enigmatic Kingpin of L.A. for a variety of unsavory things – having sex with the previously mentioned actor, and encountering a detective that has apparently been on his tail for quite some time. I don’t get what Rob Williams is trying to do here. I read superhero comics for escapism. This just sounds like an ordinary weekend in L.A. to me.

Anything that we didn’t get to that you’re interested in? Email me at the link below! This also applies for if you read something that we didn’t and want to share it with others, as I, too, have only so much money and time to spend on comics. Don’t worry, I’ll give you credit. That being said, thanks to Matt for info regarding Dark Wolverine.


//TAGS | The Weekend Week in Review

Walt Richardson

Walt is a former editor for Multiversity Comics and current podcaster/ne'er-do-well. Follow him on Twitter @goodbyetoashoe... if you dare!

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