Want to keep up with the ever-advancing continuity porn of the DC and Marvel universes, but simply don’t have the time or money to buy every ongoing? We’re here to help. The Weekend Week In Review aims to give you ((usually) very) brief synopses of what happened in a select few of DC and Marvel’s titles – with a helping of sarcastic commentary – so that when some nasty old writer wants to punish you by heavily referencing a title you didn’t pick up, you won’t be left in the dark. Of course, that means that spoilers are in abundance after the cut, but I figure that you could figure that out.
In the newest volume of Captain America, Steve Rogers showed up to his wartime lover’s funeral with her younger, still attractive niece. Let it never be said that Cap doesn’t know how to keep things classy (still, I guess it’s better than her younger sister, which is who Sharon used to be). Like any good #1 of a superhero comic, the solemnity was soon broken up by a rogue assassin. Rogers chased the man down, and though he might have failed to capture him, he realized that the attacker was a former ally of his from World War II – an ally who was a former lover of Peggy Carter until Cap stole her. Again, classy. Steve, Fury and Sharon looked up an old, currently catatonic former agent, only to have him kidnapped by some new branch of Hydra. Oh, and Zemo is behind it all. Of course he is.
Through the course of Booster Gold #46 we had the usual bit of Doomsday bashing, mind-melding, and back-stabbing. More importantly, though, it had this (and yes, I do know that segue is getting old):
Now, I might be mistaken, but last time I checked both Booster’s flight and his energy blasts are based on technology. By the logic of this lady’s powers, she would be just as able to absorb the power of flight from an airplane. I guess the writer just doesn’t get how Booster’s powers work. I mean, what does Dan Jurgens know about Booster Gold?
FF #6 attempted to explain what happened to Black Bolt in War of Kings, and why he had returned from his apparent death. The key word there is “attempted.” If anyone can explain to me what happened, I’m all ears.
Mutant-kind’s latest big ol’ problem began in Schism #1, where Scott and Logan attended an international arms conference to talk about the mutant-hunting Sentinels. Of course, there was no room for political allegory in such a scene.
Nope. No room at all. Scott’s speech was interrupted by a somehow free Quentin Quire, who used his telepathic power to make all the leaders of the free world confess their darkest secrets, whether that be beating their children for fun or marrying a Doombot. Of course, Sentinels were on hand for such an occasion, and after Scott and Logan busted them up with ease Quire had disappeared. What’s worse, the nations of the world had all decided to endorse the Sentinels once again. Of course, Scott decided to just head back to Utopia and talk it out with everyone. Nothing wrong with having an Omega-level mutant on the loose. While the X-Men were discussing this problem, it was revealed that this was all plotted by some thirteen year-old kid named Kade Kilgore, who was elevated to the position of Black King of the Hellfire Club for his efforts. Seems normal enough to me. Don’t we all go through a period in our adolescence where we hang out in dark rooms and drink wine with hooded figures in black cloaks?
In Citizen Cold #2, we learned that lunch with Lester makes for a terrible date.
While this was going on, Weather Wizard, Tarpit, Fallout, and – most unfortunately – Trixter broke out of prison with the help of Mirror Master, who was somehow trapped in his mirror-verse. On their way out, the rogues grabbed Citizen Cold’s sister, Lisa, as a sort of insurance. Obviously, this brought Cold on them pretty quick, and even though he showed up Weather Wizard had Fallout kill Lisa for no reason than as a big “fuck you” to Cold. I know these guys just got out of prison, but that’s a terrible way to treat your guest. It looked like the end for Lester, but with a quick cutaway to (what I assume were) a few minutes later, a car crashed and nearly hit Iris on its way, and a beaten an bloody Cold climbed out of it. I think the license plate gave it away, though.
Throughout the first issue of Ultimate Fallout, there was a lot of crying. I’m talking about me, here. All of Peter’s closest friends were shown dealing with their grief in their own personal way, whether by investigating the scene of where he was shot, beating up some crooks, blowing up in the sky, or just crying like normal people. The entire city seemed to show up for Pete’s funeral, including Steve Rogers, who admitted to May that the boy’s death was his fault. Did that man not just see what she did to Electro?
For how much he appeared to feel sorry about Spider-Man’s death in Ultimate Fallout Nick Fury seemed pleased as punch by the end of Ultimate Avengers vs New Ultimates #6. But let’s not skip ahead. The issue began with the widescreen mayhem that you typically expect when you hear “Ultimates” and “Millar” in the same sentence, with the Ultimates and Fury’s hulked-out Avengers fighting to put down Gregory Stark’s insurrection. There was the death of another Ultimate Spider-Man, but it wasn’t quite as sad. Hawkeye/Bullseye just smashed him with some rubble. Greg teleported over and pretty much handed everyone their ass, until Tony engaged an electromagnetic pulse that knocked out everyone’s tech. Obviously, this was the chance for Thor to put a thunderbolt through Greg… right?
Whoops. The day won, we jumped ahead a bit in time to Carol Danvers being forced to resign, since she pretty much screwed everything up, and Fury taking his old job back. I guess the moral here is don’t send anyone else to do Samuel L. Jackson’s job, but I could be wrong.
Anything that we didn’t get to that you’re interested in? Email me at the link below! This also applies for if you read something that we didn’t and want to share it with others, as I, too, have only so much money and time to spend on comics. Don’t worry, I’ll give you credit.
