We knew this day would come. When the trailer for Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would arrive. We were prepared for the worst.
We were not prepared for the mediocre.
Seriously for all the hate the internet gives Michael Bay, the trailer for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie he produced that Jonathan Liebesman directed doesn’t even look that bad. Granted, it looks like something I have no intention of ever seeing, but it’s just what you’d expect. The typical action porn shots Michael Bay loves mixed with military themes, evil businessmen, Megan Fox doing her thing and some gritty updates of 80’s toys to drag in the kids and reluctant fans.
Really, the most notable thing about this movie is just how Michael Bay it is. The first half of it could literally be transplanted onto any other action movie that’s come out since The Dark Knight. Hopefully this’ll be the first Bay shlock-fest we can just kind of sigh and ignore, it’s not like there’s anything even that offensi-
WHAT IS THAT.
THAT’S GOING TO BE MARKETED AS A TOY TO CHILDREN?
NO. NO. NO.
