The Colonel of Two Worlds Cover Reviews 

It’s Evil vs. Evil with the Face of Good in “KFC: The Colonel of Two Worlds” [Review]

By | October 6th, 2015
Posted in Reviews | % Comments

So, a crossover between the Fastest Man Alive and that Fast Food Spokesman that was played by Norm Macdonald in those awkward commercials. I’ve heard of worse ones. So, is it a harmless romp or does it fill you with indigestion and shame?

Written by Shaine Edwards & Tony Bedard
Illustrated by Tom Derenick

I guess this is how we’re kicking off The Flash season 2 and NYCC? Well okay. Now, look, I can’t just give you a basic overview of this insanity. We’re going point-for-point through this story. Let’s do it!

Our story begins with Captain Cold and Mirror Master down on their luck in the Central City House of Mirrors (Because he’s called “Mirror Master”! DO YOU SEE?!). And I don’t know about “down on your luck, Cold. You’re being played by Wentworth Miller on TV, that’s kind of cool! Anyways, Mirror Master recommends getting help from someone from Earth-3, essentially the world like ours but morality is flipped. What’s interesting is how Bedard specifies this story takes place after “Forever Evil” when he really didn’t have to go that mile, but hey! It’s on Earth-3 that they encounter Colonel Sunder, who runs the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil version of KFC and is eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil because he half-assess cooking his chicken, but it’s quicker and easier to make.

That klaxxon you’re hearing in the background is the Irony Alarm. Better duck and cover, people.

Naturally, the Colonel Sanders of Earth-Prime is pissed because this “Evil”Colonel is spreading this message and is tarnishing everything Harland Sanders stands for. You know: indigestible food, the romanticism of the whole “Good ol’ Southern Gentleman” image. You know: his image! And kudos to artist Tom Derenick here: with the way he frames Sanders’ intro to this issue, if I had no idea what I was reading, I would’ve thought this was a southern version of the Kingpin. So off the Colonel goes, one of his employees asking “Where you going, Colonel?” to which Sanders did not respond with: “Gonna go down to Central City and shoot that paper-hangin sunuvabitch!”

Speaking of Central City, the Flash is stopping a bunch of bank robbers and I guess it’s because I haven’t been following the Flash comic in a while (because like “Batgirl”, somehow two Flashes in one universe was too much but four Robins was fine), but apparently Barry got a new costume. It’s… fine (in that kind of “way too overdetailed, why did you try to fix what isn’t broken” kind of way).

After meeting up with Green Lantern, who was just on patrol and what not, the two spot Earth-Prime Colonel heading into “Easy Fried Chicken” which is apparently responsible for crime in the area going up 400% according the GL. After refusing the Flash’s aid, Earth Prime Colonel barges in to see it was EVIL!Colonel who hired the bank robbers! LE GASP! We then see EVIL!Colonel try to justify selling his cheap and easy food instead of doing it the “hard way” the Earth Prime Colonel does. And this is where we get our promo dump about “freshly prepared” chicken with herbs and spices and such. That it’s not the “easy way” but the better way.

And all the while, I’m thinking: “Earth Prime Colonel, you made the KFC Famous Bowl. Who’s the real villain here?”

And then Colonel Sanders and his Earth-3 counterpart fight while Flash gets civilians out of the way while Mirror Master and Captain Cold watch, annoyed because EVIL!Colonel’s methods wouldn’t lead to world domination (and no, Flash fans who are about to type furiously at me, that’s not a typo). The ULTIMATE FIGHT OF ULTIMATE DESTINY involves chicken nugget gattling guns, a “Pink Slime Ray”, Earth Prime Colonel having a suit under his suit and then Colonel Sanders throwing his evil counterpart through a portal back to Earth-3 (I’m guessing the Colonel is a reality warping Eldritch Abomination and can just do that). And so the day ends with Flash, GL, Mirror Master and Cold having KFC before Flash brings the two villains back to prison. Colonel Sanders, noting that the Rogues technically did nothing wrong, has a better idea.

Cut to a week later where Mirror Master and Captain Cold are working at a KFC to work off their debt to society. Essentially indentured servitude. Huh…

Continued below

But that’s not all! There are some extras included. But it’s not an advertisement for a show that wants to be Archer so bad it hurts, actual material! Like a (I’m hoping) fake letter column and a breakdown of all of Colonel Sander’s gadgets. Like how his watch can detect Crisis events (capitalization intentional. I look forward to Crisis on Infinite Herbs and Spices) and how his cane has a button on it that can activate any deep fryer in the area.

Let me repeat: This dude’s cane has a button that can activate any deep fryer around him, no doubt to deep fry his enemies.

Let’s face facts, this is a throwaway promotional comic that I’m sure DC got a lot of cash for. And you should totally grab it.

No, I’m serious! Bedard knew exactly what he was writing and cranks up the batshit insanity of the story. Derenick and colorist Hi-Fi’s work is serviceable and standard superhero artwork. The best thing is comically nitpicking at this thing and riffing the comic. Grab some friends or snarky robots and have fun with it while it lasts.

Final Verdict: Kind of chewy and serviceable and you’ll have some laughs while consuming, but you won’t remember post-diarrhea.


Ken Godberson III

When he's not at his day job, Ken Godberson III is a guy that will not apologize for being born Post-Crisis. More of his word stuffs can be found on Twitter or Tumblr. Warning: He'll talk your ear off about why Impulse is the greatest superhero ever.

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