The summer journey through the Amalgam Universe continues today with a review of “X-Patrol”. This is the first time I examine a combination with little-to-no knowledge of the original elements. It still reads pretty well.
The Mashup
In theory this is the Doom Patrol and X-Force, but because the roster was assembled after most of the other Amalgam titles had been chosen, writers Karl and Barbara Kesel were able to take elements from a wide variety of franchises, including the Avengers (the Wasp), Teen Titans (Starfire, a headquarters shaped like a giant X), and the Legion of Superheroes (Ferro Boy). Was “Dial H” ever part of a team?
The group was assembled by Karl Kesel and Barbara Kesel, drawn by Roger Cruz, and published by Marvel.
The Plot
Janet Van Dyne/Domino/Elasti-girl arrives at the X building, where the other team members are waiting. They’re frustrated because no one knows who called them there or why. There’s a brief argument/battle that gives us some insight into the characters and a display of their powers, then Niles Cable comes out of the shadows and gives us a one-page origin recap of each character.
Cable reveals he’s from the future, where stories of this group are legendary. He gathered them earlier than they’d naturally form so they could make things even better. Oh, and the best part of the legend is their glorious death. You see, this patrol is doomed because they’re a squad on a suicide mission. Get it?
Once everyone agrees to join (takes about three panels), they fly out to Latveria to confront their first enemy: Doctor Doomsday. Their plane is destroyed at the country’s border, but luckily the evil despot keeps his castle located there too, so the cast literally drops in on him.
There’s a fight. Cable knew Doctor Doomsday was building an army, and he finds out it came from a dimensional bridge to places where “twisted, splintered versions” of Amalgam heroes live. Get it?
X-Patrol destroys the computer terminal, which stops Doomsday’s evil plan. There’s a little bit more fighting, then Shatterstarfire hits Doomsday hard enough for the team to escape. As they leave, they celebrate their success and look forward to becoming legends. Cable quietly tells Janet that history is already changing, because one of Doomsday’s blow to his back left Cable unable to feel his legs.
What “Wizard” thought then
The first month it was eligible, “X-Patrol” debuted at the #8 position on the “Wizard” list of Top 10 Back issues. They liked the “over the top” three-way character combos, but felt the origin recaps were too long, and outright said the only reason it was popular was because it was the only Amalgam with an “X” at the beginning. They may have been right, since the book didn’t even rate an honorable mention in the top 11-20 box the next month. Still, it was one of the few to get a follow up in the second round, so the contemporary interest must have been high.
What I think now
“Wizard” was too harsh on the origin recaps. Each character got three quarters of a page in flashback, all one after the other, so the story still moved along at a fast clip. It was definitely not as bad as the flashback sequences in, say, John Byrne’s “Amazon” issue.
The first half of the book is all about exposition and characterization, and the Kesels’ writing is mostly solid with a few signs of weakness where the story is rushed. In addition to an origin flashback, each team member had at least one revealing moment. Shatterstarfire has a short temper. Beastling is horny. Dial HUSK is timid. For the most part, these fit smoothly into the plot and are well done.
However, the part where Cable convinces these loners to form a team is super rushed. In one panel, he says “Separately, you’re freaks. Together, you’ll be heroes! I have seen the future! Join me!”. (That’s not a paraphrase, that’s a condensation of a 41 word speech into a 14 word speech. I used contractions and omitted adjectives and repetition.) Somehow, everyone buys into it. Shatterstarfire finds the speech “most stirring.” I get that there wasn’t space to do this justice, but I think I would’ve preferred a Gilligan cut where Cable opens with this speech, someone says “I hope you’ve got something more convincing to say, because none of us are going to join you,” and in the next panel they’re on the plane and the same someone says “I can’t believe you convinced us to join you.” I think readers would have gone along with it because no one bought this comic expecting a detailed sense of purpose.
Continued belowAs I tried to make clear in the plot summary, the team’s arrival in Doctor Doomsday’s castle is super contrived. The dialogue makes it unmistakably clear their jet is shot down the moment it crosses into the island nation’s airspace, somehow no one’s hurt, and Ferro Man just falls straight down into the villain’s stronghold. I get that it’s an island, and an oceanside view would be great, buy why would anyone with a brain blow up an aircraft if the debris would land on their home? Why not wait a minute? But eh, we’re rushed anyway. Roll with it.
The second half of the book is all about action, and Cruz’s art matches the writing in quality: mostly solid, but occasionally short on space. Skimming through the comic, the layouts average 5-6 panels per page. That was fine during the opening act when characters were primarily talking, but the fight with Doctor Doomsday needs more room to breathe.
The panel shown above is fine on it’s own, but this is first time we see the character and the best full-body view of him we ever get. It takes up about a third of the page, but it’s still sharing the page with five other panels. Being average-sized significantly reduces the impact of the villain. Doctor Doomsday should not be underwhelming.
I’m being picky, though. Cramming too much story and action into a comic isn’t the worst problem a comic can have, and I strongly suspect it wouldn’t have been a problem if this had been more than a one-shot. “X-Patrol” was fun and exciting, and I’d happily buy the second issue if this had been an ongoing series. I think that’s quite a feat considering I’ve never had any interest in the teams this Amalgam smashed together.
