Written by Keith Giffen
Penciled by Matthew Clark and Ron RandallIn this spotlight issue, witness the past, present, and future of the Doom Patrol through the eyes of the only constant member of the team. Through all its reincarnations, through all his remodelings —- you can’t have a Doom Patrol without Cliff “Robotman” Steele!
Keith Giffen and Matthew Clark’s Doom Patrol is, after this point, only one issue away from the Patrol’s latest flare-up of chronic oblivion. With our intrepid editor Matthew handling most of the big guns this week, I thought I’d take a look at one of the books that seems to perpetually fall through the cracks, no matter who tries their hand at it. Have we been overlooking a hidden gem of the DC universe, or is Doom Patrol‘s imminent cancellation deserved?
As ever, these secrets and more lurk after the jump.
Full disclosure time: I have not read a single issue of Keith Giffen and Matthew Clark’s run prior to this one. Since #21 is the second-to-last issue of the series, this is already bad comics-journalism juju. In fact, I haven’t read any of the Doom Patrol comics put out this century; John Arcudi’s run held no appeal, and neither did John Byrne’s. I love the old Arnold Drake stuff, though, and I’m yet another of those jerks who write about comics on the internet who reveres Grant Morrison’s run. Paul Kupperberg’s run had its moments, too, sort of. Still, the most recent issue of Doom Patrol that I’ve read was originally published in something like 1993. I’m doing no research and taking this book entirely as it presents itself. It must succeed on its own merits, as a complete 22 pages unto itself.
To say that this comic book does not succeed is an understatement on the order of “Tumblr might have a couple users these days.” If a comic book makes me question the point of existence before I’m even done reading it, let alone processing it, there is something very broken in the machine. Fitting, then, that this issue is all about DC’s favorite broken machine, Robotman. Matthew Clark and pinch-hitter Ron Randall treat us to an issue-long foray into exactly what Robotman thinks of his own history with the Doom Patrol.
Let’s run down the problems with this approach. One, this book has one issue left before being cancelled. It’s easy to want to interpret this as tip of a hat to the old times, one last medley of all the greatest hits and misses before the concert’s over. I’m not really sure how much I believe that, though. It feels too brusque for that, too gruntingly dismissive of the book’s history. (Then again, I probably would be too.) Another way to interpret it is a primer on the Doom Patrol, a way of giving the imagined new reader a dirty hit of continuity right to the mainline. This theory falls apart when one remembers that the title is dead in the water.
What I’m guessing happened here is that Doom Patrol #21 is just a character spotlight; this is Occam’s Razor in action. Cliff Steele looks back at his life and his place in the Doom Patrol, and we learn a little something about his motivations and his present situation based on how he regards his past. This is, in theory, a sound way to do it. Leaving aside the issue that the second-to-last issue is not really ideal placement for such a thing, it could reap benefits, especially in the context of what’s currently going on in Doom Patrol. The problem: I have no idea what the hell is currently going on in Doom Patrol.
No, seriously, this isn’t anything to do with my above point about having not read the rest of the series. I literally have not encountered a comic book this inaccessible in ages. The only characters readily identified are Robotman himself and the other original Doom Patrol guys (in a flashback). In the here and now, he’s in Las Vegas (I think?) for some reason, standing around sulking about something. There’s also General Immortus (I think? He’s never referred to by name) playing a slot machine for some reason. There’s a guy in an Elvis suit who I guess Cliff knows from somewhere. Negative Man shows up for a panel or two. There’s a woman (Elasti-Girl?) in a bed, with a teeny woman next to her. I don’t know — I honestly don’t. They make mention of invading Oolong Island, from 52. Okay, that’s cool, but, uh, why?
There’s an argument to be made that this is the second-to-last issue. Anyone still reading it should already know what the deal is with the team and the Elvis guy and Oolong Island. I think that’s bull; making excuses for half-assing it is making excuses for half-assing it, and this comic was half-assed. Even the panel compositions fail to excite — the flashbacks do fair jobs aping the art styles of past Doom Patrol illustrators, but the scenes set in the present are delivered with drab compositions that only serve to underscore what a totally inexpressive protagonist Robotman is.
The story, meanwhile, just sputters around in a circle. If we’re meant to learn something about Robotman’s character, all we really find out is that 1. he cares about the Doom Patrol as a concept, and 2. he’s pretty grumpy and glib about things. As far as I am aware, these are not mind-blowing revelations. I respect Keith Giffen tremendously — I’m sitting not ten feet from a complete run of the Justice League comics he’s plotted, meticulously sought out over a period of years. But here, all of his worst tendencies are brought to the fore: a love of meandering narration (dig the opening sequence’s tangent about music that builds to an utterly feeble punchline), a tendency to use bizarre locales and character/action juxtapositions for the sake of it, and a habit of building up big things through constant sidebars and digressions, which makes the anticipation for those big things as flat as a pancake (see also the stuff with Kooeykooeykooey in his Suicide Squad run ten years back).
I came in with no expectations, and I leave convinced that we are not losing any great service to comics through yet another cancellation of Doom Patrol.
Final Verdict: 1.0 – Pass
