Written by Keith Giffen
Illustrated by Ron RandallIt’s all been building to this! To retake Oolong Island, The Doom Patrol must face a pan-galactic array of foes, old and new alike. Hanging in the balance is the fate of the team, the island — and maybe even the world!
So this is it, the end of the book that I was more or less convinced was only being published for me to read an enjoy for the last year (and it seems as if that may not be completely off the mark). While many may be quick to call this a sawed off ending, I’m more of the mind that this issue was not only the ending the book deserved given its history and temperament, but I also happen to think all cancelled books should walk off as gracefully as this one did. Click before for musings on this particular closing chapter as well as a look back at the series as a whole. Note – SPOILERS AHOY!/note
This issue picks up where last issue left off, with the team (aided by the nefarious General Immortus) storming their former home of Oolong Island to reverse the recent hostile takeover by Mister Somebody (nee Nobody) Industries. It appears their remaining friends on the Island have been busy, systematically punking Mister Somebody’s goons (such as perennial Doom Patrol villain Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man) by teleporting them to Antarctica. This lead to them earning the extreme ire of the powers that be, who at the time of their rescue, were pointing some rather large looking guns at everybody’s favorite former sentient street turned humble sentient bungalo, Danny the Bungalo.
As their covert infiltration of the island is botched by Negative Man’s absentmindedness, the team enters one final battle with the agents of M.S.E., which in very short order (despite a rape attempt on a metaphysical being) end with the Doom Patrol the unquestioned victors. Once they reunite with Danny, Dusty Gal, Ambush Bug and the “not as crazy as she used to be but still pretty crazy” Crazy Jane, the story begins to wind down in spectacular fashion. As Mister Somebody bares down on the assembled heroes, Ambush Bug pops in with a few choice words in his ear (its at this point that you realize he can be seen reading from a laptop with a surprised and worried look on his face and packing suitcases in the background of the whole issue). After a hilarious, 4th wall demolishing sequence, the battle ends. And why does the battle end, do you ask? Simple.
Because the book was cancelled.
The big bad, pan-dimensional villain up and left with all of his goons because he had to, there was no book left to fight in. You’d think that this would stop the issue from ending with a cliffhanger, but of course it absolutely does (and with all the other defied expectations contained in this beast, I’m not sure why I’m surprised). And with a simple “Next Issue: Oh. Right. Never Mind.” caption, the fifth volume of the Doom Patrol came to a close with the sincerity and downright hilarity that it has been known for.
Expect the unexpected.
A lot of serial comics give that particular warning to their readers, but over the course of its slightly less than two year lifespan, Doom Patrol lived up to that promise more than any other book in recent memory. Be it the opening story of the team encountering a sentient black hole with a taste for lederhosen (who we never did see enough of), the fantastic use of a (most likely) forced Blackest Night tie-in (come on, did YOU expect Cliff’s old body to show up? I sure didn’t) or the slow inclusion of various elements from Grant Morrison’s legendary and much beloved run on the book (I expected to see Crazy Jane again eventually, but bringing Danny and Mister Nobody back was a total treat), this book kept me wired in based only on the fact that I could never predict what would happen next.
Continued belowHowever, ultimately, it was just a little TOO weird and spontaneous to hold onto its audience and, frankly, I was surprised to see it pop up in the monthly solicitations every month after issue 15. As sad as it is to admit, books this smart don’t last long in today’s market (case in point: has anyone checked THUNDER Agents’ numbers lately?), and the fact that it took a major line-wide restructuring event to finally get the book canned speaks volumes about DC’s willingness to invest time and money into lessen known properties and their fan bases, which puts Marvel’s investment in such properties to shame by a wide margin.
Was this book doomed from the start? I don’t think so. Do I completely get why it was ended? Oh yes. Do I think it managed to do the absolute best it could with the circumstances it was given? Absolutely. Like I said above, if all the books I liked that got cancelled ended with the grace this one did, I still wouldn’t be bitter about Thor: The Mighty Avenger and SWORD. That said, with a new Justice League International book on its way, its a little too early to bust out the “DC is not investing in legitimately funny and outlandish comics” argument, but THIS particular funny and outlandish comic will still be missed nonetheless.
Final Verdict: 9.0 – Shoulda’ bought this one, kids!
