Welcome to our coverage of “Who’s Who!” For this summer, we’ll be focusing exclusively on the 26-issue 1985-1987 series, without any of the updates. Those will, hopefully, follow next year.
Today, we dive into the sixth installment, which begins the march of “Doctors.” Let’s get to it.
Best overall entry: Demolition Team
An obscure team (only 13 non-resource book appearances), but this is so much fucking fun. A jai-alai player and a stunt cyclist on a superhero team? This is the kind of shit that “Who’s Who” absolutely slays. It is introducing a character set that most of their readers would have no idea about, and makes me want to track down all of their appearances.
Best non-character: The Daily Planet
The Daily Planet is about as integral as a fictional newspaper can be to a fictional city, and this entry is a great snapshot of the Planet around the time of “Crisis on Infinite Earths.” I do love that we have, in print, who the obits editor is.
Marquee character: Darseid
This was the era of the Super Powers toys, just before “Legends,” and with Darkseid as the main villain in the final Superfriends iteration. This is the time when DC was most all in on the Kirby Fourth World stuff being integrated into the main-line DC Universe. And, since this issue also has Desaad, it is clearly a spotlight on Darkseid and Apokolips.
So why is Darkseid half-hidden by the cover dress?
If they just flip-flopped him and Dr. Fate, it would’ve been so easy. But maybe they wanted a hero front and center?
Most obscure character: Dark Destroyer
Any “Atari Force” character is always in the running for this title, but with only 2 non-“Who’s Who” appearances, this was one of the least difficult decisions thus far.
Most incomprehensible entry: Demonia
Just pure gobbledygook.
Most bizarre entry: Doctor Double X
The line between most bizarre and most incomprehensible is a thin, at best, but this entry makes “sense” if you know comics and comic talk. The Demonia entry doesn’t.
Top three pieces of art:
3. Dr. Mid-Nite (Matt Wanger and Rome Tanhal)
It’s great to see some Matt Wagner art here, and this costume is among my favorites of all time.
2. Dark Opal (Ernie Colon)
Unlike Brian Bendis, I’m not the world’s biggest Gemworld fan, but this is a gorgeous rendering of that world’s big bad.
1. Dr. Phosphorus (Walt Simonson)
Who doesn’t love an irradiated skeleton? Who doesn’t love Walt Simonson? This is peanut butter and chocolate, baby: two great tastes that taste great together and, depending on your allergy conditions, may kill you.
Best lines/details per entry:
Daily Planet: The very first day of publication was marred by tragedy when Jeremiah Odets, a teenaged printer’s apprentice (or devil), was killed by a large roll of paper tat fell on him. His ghost is said to guard the Planet to this day and has saved the paper on at least one occasion.
Brian’s commentary: Now I need to know why “or devil” was put after the phrase ‘teenaged printer’s apprentice.’
The Dark Circle: Marital Status: Unknown
Brian’s commentary: I get why you need to include Superman’s marital status, but is anyone trying to figure out if all the Dark Circle folks are locked down?
Dark Destroyer: At the precise moment that Lydia Perez was giving birth to the son of Martin Champion, leader of the Atari Force, the Dark Destroyer murdered her, its invisible energy passing through Champion himself, thus gaining enough DNA to form a whole organism once more.
Brian’s commentary: Timing, truly, is everything.
Dark Opal: Caught in a mystic backlash as his powers imploded, the only trace of Dark Opal that remained was the clasp that held his cloak.
Brian’s commentary: Say what you want about his evil ways, that’s some fine craftsmanship on that clasp. You just don’t see a lot of that nowadays.
Darkseid: By the terms of “the Pact,” Darkseid and Highfather exchanged guardianship of their heirs.
Continued belowBrian’s commentary: I like how they quote “the Pact” like its the masturbation contest on Seinfeld or something.
Dart: The goal ultimately accomplished, the new Atari Force faced trial for supposed crimes resulting from their actions. Though they used their powers to avoid prosecution, at this writing the whereabouts of Dart and the other members of the Atari Force remain unknown.
Brian’s commentary: So wait, it’s ok for heroes to use their powers to avoid being brought to justice? [Dana Carvey as Johnny Carson voice] I did not know that!
Dawnstar: Dawnstar developed a crush on Wildfire, which matured into a “romantic but platonic (of necessity)” relationship.
Brian’s commentary: That is the single most detail this book has ever gone into while discussing just exactly how romantic or platonic a relationship is.
Deadman: In life, Boston Brand was an Olympic-level athlete and, as a former boxer, a superb hand to hand combatant.
Brian’s commentary: I know he was a trapeze artist, but I swear, every fifth entry in these book is an Olympic-level athlete. I’ve never seen such disrespect for amateur athletes as I do in these pages.
Deadshot:
Brian’s commentary: I love this detail so much. I love how much thought goes into something this insignificant.
Deathbolt: Discovered almost immediately by the villainous Ultra-Humanite, Simmons was carried to Ultra’s secret hideout.
Brian’s commentary: The use of ‘almost’ above is quite funny to me. It seems like Ultra-Humanite walked in and said “Sorry I’m late, traffic is a bitch this time of day.”
Deep Six: It seems the either the Deep Six are difficult to kill, or Apokolips technology has so far proven capable of resurrecting them.
Brian’s commentary: Way to not commit to a storyline one way or the other, “Who’s Who.”
Deimos:
Brian’s commentary: This is one of the least functional costumes I’ve seen in 35 years of reading comics. It looks like 8 year old Deimos went into his mom’s closet and put on one of her ball gowns.
Demolition Team: Scoop-shovel, a top level Jai Alai player from San Diego whose hydraulic power-arm can up-root almost anything
Brian’s commentary: Oh, jai alai. Was Hoho from Mad Men bankrolling this comic?
Demon: Recently, Etrigan has taken to speaking in rhyming verse, with a macabre effect on his listeners.
Brian’s commentary: When presented as a choice made relatively recently, the rhyming becomes hilarious. “Have you seen Etrigan lately?” “Oh god, the fucking rhyming. I can’t. I can’t even.”
Demonia: A devious mind made her an untrustworthy ally.
Brian’s commentary: This is a flowery way of saying “she’s evil.”
Desaad: Furious that Desaad’s meddling might lead to Orion’s death, Darkseid disintegrated Desaad with his Omega Effect. Sometime later, though, regretting the lost of his confidant, Darkseid used the Omega Effect to resurrect Desaad.
Brian’s commentary: “Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, I can use the Omega Effect to resurrect them.”
Despero: Despero then challenged Flash to play a highly stylized game of chess for his teammates’ freedom.
Brian’s commentary: More villains should have bespoke board games as part of their schtick, don’t you think?
Destiny: Almost nothing is known about Destiny, a strange and mysterious being who appears at will at the crossroads of every man’s life.
Brian’s commentary: SO GLAD YOU MADE AN ENTRY ON THIS DUDE JUST TO SAY NOTHING AT ALL.
Detective Chimp: After a chance meeting with his idol, Rex the Wonder Dog, during which the two animals unwittingly drank from the lost and legendary Fountain of Youth, Bobo found himself a young chimp again, starting his life over.
Brian’s commentary: Why can’t I ever unwittingly drink from the Fountain of Youth instead of a glass of water that I thought was mine but actually was my wife’s from last night?
Dial H for Hero: Years before, the Master had apparently slain the Wizard, but in fact had merely released the Wizard’s spirit to a higher plane of existence where he could search oblivion for his original H-dial.
Brian’s commentary: Cool story.
Dinosaur Island:
Brian’s commentary: I really have no idea why “Who’s Who” wasn’t used to settle these elements that have two possibilities. They could’ve definitely picked a side. Instead, it’s just a choose your own adventure story about Dinosaur Island.
Doctor Alchemy: Having accidentally come into position of the legendary Philosopher’s Stone, which was capable of transforming one element into another, Desmond discarded his Mr. Element identity and became instead Dr. Alchemy.
Brian’s commentary: We’ve all got a new accessory and decided we needed to becomes something new. Few of us had the guts to actually change our name to reflect said accessory, though.
Doctor Bedlam: Note: One of his most infamous methods is his use for the “paranoid pill,” which releases a gas that can drive everyone within a large office building temporarily insane with fear and hatred
Brian’s commentary: This basically sounds like the fears of every adult in Reefer Madness.
Doctor Cyber: Originally a stunningly beautiful woman who commanded a worldwide network of secret operatives, Cyber was hideously disfigured during one of her any confrontations with Diana Prince when a dying Chinese Tong gunman hurled a brazier of red-hot coals into her face.
Brian’s commentary: I quickly read brazier as brassiere, which made this already very funny detail over the top hilarious. Also, just say barbecue or grill.
Doctor Destiny: To prevent Destiny from using his extraordinary mental powers against them again, the Justice League sent a psychiatrist to Destiny’s cell, and through hypnotic suggestion he ruined Destiny’s dream materioptikon. Unfortunately, he also inadvertently robbed Destiny of his ability to dream. His nights became a constant torment, for all men need to dream – and Destiny could not.
Brian’s commentary: This seems like one of the crueler things to ever happen to a villain in all of comics.
Doctor Double X: In fact, Double X was not dead but merely sleeping in Ecks’ host-body. Realizing this after years of imprisonment, Ecks stuck his finger into the right socket of his cell, absorbing enough raw energy to set Double X free once more.
Brian’s commentary: OK, two things: one, are there outlets just hanging out in jail cells? And two, this dude is hardcore.
Doctor Fate: Years passed, and Nelson married Inza. His own magical powers and temporal energy absorbed from the villains Ian Karkull kept Nelson physically in his twenties. The magic kept Inza physically in her twenties as well.
Brian’s commentary: Why can’t I ever get residual absorbed energy from Ian Karkull to keep me feeling young and vital?
Doctor Light: Weary of his many failures, Doctor Light has given up his life of crime.
Brian’s commentary: Coming this fall from AMC: the Depressed Criminal! After suffering a humiliating loss one too many times, Doctor Light becomes a substitute teacher at his old high school…wait, isn’t this basically Welcome Back, Kotter?
Doctor Light (II): The force shot through the darkness of space, slipping through a cosmic warp, and struck the observing astronomer.
Brian’s commentary: “When the shot hits your eye through the cosmic warp-aye, that’s Dr. Light’s origin!”
Doctor Mid-Nite: For a brief time Doctor Mid-Nite carried a weapon he had invented called a “cryotuber.” With it, he could take control of the nervous system of another person, thereby controlling their movements, and could temporary freeze human flesh.
Brian’s commentary: Holy shit.
Doctor Occult: Base of operations: An unidentified American city
Brian’s commentary: Again, why do we have this resource if it can’t answer basic shit like “Where does Doctor Occult operate?”
Doctor Phosphorus:
Brian’s commentary: Look, I’d have done the same thing, but imagine hoping that sandbags would stop a nuclear reaction?
Doctor Polaris: Occasionally Doctor Polaris’s benevolent original personality has returned, but his evil side always reemerges and now appears to have become permanently established as dominant.
Brian’s commentary: This is basically written by one of Doc Polaris’s old drinking buddies. “He’s not all bad; last year, he bought us a round once, before killing Gene dead in his stool for no real reason.”
