Welcome to our coverage of “Who’s Who!” For this summer, we’ll be focusing exclusively on the 26-issue 1985-1987 series, without any of the updates. Those will, hopefully, follow next year.
We are at H this week, with an emphasis on some JSA luminaries and villains. Let’s get to it!
Best Overall Entry: The Harlequin
I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again: the Golden Age makes for the most interesting of these entries. There’s a lot of silliness in this particular write up, but not enough to detract it from the genuinely interesting relationship between the Harlequin and Alan Scott. This is just comics being comics, and I’m here for it.
Marquee: Hawkman
Hawkman has been a cornerstone of DC team books since the 40s, so it’s not surprising that he gets the spotlight here, especially as there are multiple versions of both he and Shiera present.
Most Obscure Character: Hawk: Son of Tomahawk
There’s some controversy here, as Helix has fewer appearances than Hawk, but one member of Helix, Mister Bones, has over 100 appearances, so I felt that Hawk was a more accurate choice.
Most Incomprehensible Entry: The Harpis
The Omega Men, especially in the 80s, exhibited a lot of really cool stuff, but also had their backstories so unbelievably and unnecessarily complicated.
Most Bizarre Entry: The Haunted Tank
It is crazy to me that as recently as the 40s, you could make the ghost of a Confederate general into a hero. Now, I know that the conversation about statues and flags is very much a 21st century one, but if I recall correctly, the South lost the Civil War, and Generals ordered the killing of soldiers who simply didn’t want to enslave folks. This entry is bonkers.
Also of note: it says how mad the ghost was that the battalion was made up of soldiers from the North. Imagine how pissed he was when he found out one of them was black.
Most Frustrating Entry: Hourman I
This entry has at least three pieces in it, specifically the parts about Miraclo, that are repeated, almost verbatim, in two separate sections. Plus, this has a bunch of the stuff that every JSA/Freedom Fighters member has in it, and so there’s precious little in here that feels new or revelatory at all.
Top 3 Pieces of Art:
3. Hippolyta by Jerry Ordway
Ordway has been a consistent highlight through these pages, and his four background panels really tell a full Hippolyta story, with the center image being reflective, instead of in battle, or posed for intimidation. It’s a nice read on the character, rendered visually.
2. Harbinger by George Pérez
This art bleeds over the top of the page, but I didn’t want to cut Pérez’s portrait. I like how this piece, through its background image, somewhat tells the story of her powers, while drawing her as this sentry, overlooking the rest of the page.
1. Hawkman by Joe Kubert
When I think of Joe Kubert, I think of Hawkman, and this gravity-defying pose doesn’t disappoint.
Best lines/details per entry:
Gunner and Sarge: The dog, whom the team nicknamed Pooch, often saved their lives.
Brian’s Commentary: First of all, what was its actual name? I like to believe it was named for composer Giacomo Puccini. Secondly, why doesn’t the live saving dog have his own entry? What the hell?
Gypsy: As she is a habitual liar, Gypsy’s tales are usually discounted.
Brian’s Commentary: There has to have been a nicer way to say this.
Halo: Any of these halos enables here to fly, including a white halo, which generates no other ability.
Brian’s Commentary: This series is full of so many “We’re not sure how…” statements, but they’re just actively admitting the white Halo sucks.
Harbinger: In her ordinary form, Lyla possesses no special powers, but as Harbinger, Lyla is a powerhouse matched only by very few.
Brian’s Commentary: For some reason, I read this in Donald Trump’s voice, and it became very funny to me.
Continued belowThe Harlequin: She carries a mandolin with an extending handle, which enables her to thrust t forward as a weapon.
Brian’s Commentary: If you’re looking for an instrument to double as a weapon, a mandolin is a poor one. Why not give her a trombone with extra telescoping slide?
The Harpis: On the negative side, Harpis’s wide wingspan makes her a tempting target for longer-range gunfire. Fortunately, there are no nerve cells in the wings themselves, and a hit there will usually fail to bring Harpis down.
Brian’s Commentary: I just imagine Harpis walking into every doorway and having no idea that she’s destroy jamb after jamb.
The Haunted Tank: Shortly after America became involved in World War Two, the spirit of Alexander the Great assigned the ghost of General Stuart to act as the guardian of the Stuart M3 tank commanded by the general’s namesake, Sgt. Jeb Stuart, in North Africa. General Stuart was outraged, since Sgt. Stuart and his crew were all Northerners.
Brian’s Commentary: Fucking yikes. Also, why is Alexander the Great getting involved?
Hawk Son of Tomahawk: He was capable of shooting the wings off a fly at 50 yards, though he preferred not to hurt even a fly if he could possibly avoid it.
Brian’s Commentary: How could he possibly know he could do this, and that it wasn’t just a fluke, if he didn’t do it a bunch of times? This sounds like a bullshit pacifism if you ask me.
Hawk and Dove: The duration of their transformation is unlimited as long as injustice remains in the vicinity.
Brian’s Commentary: Poor dudes will never not be wearing those costumes, I guess.
Hawkgirl: And although she is out of practice, she retains unusual physical vitality to this day, thanks to absorbing temporal energy decades ago from the villainous Ian Karkull.
Brian’s Commentary: If he gave her ‘unusual’ vitality decades later, is it really fair to call him a villain? Am I right, Carter?
Hawkman I: He retains unusual physical vitality to this day, thanks to absorbing temporal energy decades ago from the villainous Ian Karkull.
Brian’s Commentary: If he gave him unusual…hey, wait a second? These entries are almost exactly the same and back to back.
Hawkman II: On coming to Earth in pursuit of Byth, Hawkman learned all Earth knowledge using a device called an absorbascon.
Brian’s Commentary: Why is the Deep State hiding the absorbascon from the rest of us?
Hawkwoman: Hol was at first furious about being assigned an inexperienced young woman as a partner, but was never-the-less strongly attracted to her almost immediately.
Brian’s Commentary: “My sexist brain says you’re dumb, but my dick says you’re ok in my book.”
Heat Wave:
Brian’s Commentary: Why on Earth was a school taking a field trip to a meat-packing plant?
Hector Hammond: Incapable of any movement, Hector Hammond can be neither an athlete nor a hand to hand combatant.
Brian’s Commentary: Not with that attitude he can’t!
Helix:
Brian’s Commentary: I love that they felt the need to neg him by pointing out that he was renting a house, and didn’t own.
Hercules: Using the great strength granted her by a magic girdle (the gift of Aphrodite), Hippolyta defeated Hercules but later allowed herself to be seduced into letting him hold the girdle.
Brian’s Commentary: Sometimes Golden Age comics have grace and storytelling far beyond what you’d expect. Sometimes they give a woman a magic fucking girdle.
Heroes of Lallor: In keeping with the custom of Lallor, their personal names may be said in any order if they are compound names, their heroic names may be used interchangeably with personal names.
Brian’s Commentary: Why exactly do we ned to know this bit of arcane Lallor trivia?
Highfather: Recently, Darkseid succeeded in destroying New Genesis, but its inhabitants survived in their floating domed city, Supertown.
Brian’s Commentary: I’ve always debated whether to pronounce this “Super Town” on “Super-tun.”
Hippolyta: The Golden Age Hippolyta, the mother of the Golden Age Wonder Woman, differed from the present mainly in having black hair, not blond.
Brian’s Commentary: This is literally some Malibu Stacy’s new hat shit.
Continued belowH.I.V.E.: The H.I.V.E. (the Hierarchy of International Vengeance and Extermination) was formed by the H.I.V.E. Master.
Brian’s Commentary: You have to give him this: he was committed to that stupid acronym.
Hop Harrigan: Hop quickly became a superb pilot and soon met Gerry, a millionaire’s daughter who became his girlfriend.
Brian’s Commentary: I know that he was essentially orphaned, abused by a parental figure, and had to pull himself up by the bootstraps, but some guys have all the luck.
Houngan: Today, Drop, who now calls himself Houngan, uses an electronic needle-stylus and a computerized voodoo doll to create terrors the old voodoo houngans could never have imagined.
Brian’s Commentary:
Hourman I: Even without his Miraclo-induced powers, the Hourman today retains unusual physical vitality to this day, thanks to absorbing temporal energy decades ago from the villainous Ian Karkull.
Brian’s Commentary: Why does that sound familiar?
Hourman II: As yet it is not know [sic] how soon the second Hourman can take another Miraclo pill after the effects of a previous one wear off, or if he would suffer harmful effects if he took another dose too soon.
Brian’s Commentary: So…how would they ever figure this out? At some point, they must’ve risked this, just to get some idea, right?
The Human Bomb: He has to wear “fibre-wax” gloves at all times so as not to release his power accidentally.
Brian’s Commentary: That must be quite the explanation to dates, co-workers, relatives, medical personnel, and everyone else he ever meets.
The Human Target: His mastery of makeup and disguise enables him to assume the identity of his clients so skillfully that even their closest friends rarely know the difference.
Brian’s Commentary: My wife never notices when I trim my beard, so I buy this.
Lt. Hunter’s Hellcats: Although at first Hunter even had to use his fists at times to assert his authority over these men, he succeeded in turning them into a first-rate commando team.
Brian’s Commentary: Lt. Hunter seems like a real piece of shit!
The Huntress I: The original Huntress was a thief who resented the way that criminals were hunted by the law and decided to chase down the enforcers of the law herself.
Brian’s Commentary: That’s one way to handle the situation.
The Huntress II: From birth, Helena was trained to an extraordinary peak of physical and mental development, not because her parents had any special plan for her future life, but because they assumed such development was good for its own sake.
Brian’s Commentary: Bat dad + Cat mom = Tiger parents, apparently.
Hyathis: Hyathis can mentally control the plant life of her home planet, Alstair. Whether she can command the plants of other worlds is unknown.
Brian’s Commentary: This entry also talks about her going to Thanagar, so wouldn’t that be the first thing you’d do when you show up on a new planet? How did she not test this?
The Hyena:
Brian’s Commentary: Is the issue that they wouldn’t foot the bill to fly the other Hyenas to Africa? Because, doesn’t that seem like the way to save them? To put them through the very thing that saved Firestorm?
