This is pretty much it friends, the end of the world as we know it. Well, the end of “X-Factor” anyway, as we go through the last two major arcs. There is still the final arc, an epilogue called ‘The End of X-Factor,’ but all of the simmering conflicts come to a head as we find out the fates of Rahne and her son, Guido, Monet, and the whole crew. A lot to cover this week, no time to waste! Let’s do this!
“X-Factor” #246-249, ‘Short Stories’
Written by Peter David
Illustrated by Paul Davidson, and Leonard Kirk
Inked by Paul Davidson, Jay Leisten, and Edgar Tadeo
Colored by Matt Milla
Lettered by Corey Petit
‘Short Stories’ (which I assume refers to the height of Pip the Troll?) is a lot of table setting. It’s the last gasp of silly antics before the ‘Hell On Earth War.’ That sure sounds grim, huh? As a transition, this story wasn’t all too memorable on its own, but that’s okay. Business as usual is fine when business is this good, and it’s always fun to spend time with the misfits at X-Factor Investigations.
More than anything else, this is a Pip story. Pip has been around since the gang fought Hela in Vegas, but he’s mostly been a background presence. As a source of gross comic relief, he hasn’t had too much to do with the main plot until now. After Pip fails to skeev on a woman, he is shot in the head, and his mind lands in Monet’s body. This leads to some gross antics (the porn addicted Pip is in the body of a character who is often drawn to look like a porn star), and finally a big battle in the Bronx Botanical Gardens. The battle is awesome.
Pip is really weird to think about in 2019. For most of the 90s, Pip was the stalwart sidekick of Gamora. You know, the green lady from those Guardians of the Galaxy movies. The thing is, when these comics were written in 2012, there was no guarantee that folks new who Gamora was. Lots of them probably didn’t even know Thanos. As such, the Pip exposition is as weird as it can possibly be, holding your hand about things that are now widely known, and expecting you to know plot points that were ignored by the movies. It’s wild.
That’s not the only thing that reads differently today. I’ve been very amused by Peter David’s pop culture references. They seem so old and quaint. There was a running background gag about Stephen Colbert’s 2008 presidential campaign. Also a lot of jokes at the expense of early 2000s celebrities like Paris Hilton. But now, the references feel downright contemporary. There was a joke where a woman mistook Pip for Peter Dinklage, star of the first two seasons of Game of Thrones. Another moment mixed up the X-Factor team for the TV show. A lot of Beyonce references too. All of them could be jokes from a comic that was being published today.
So who else got page time in this arc? Well Jamie and Layla did… and it’s still weird! The two of them actually got married. In Vegas. By a Lincoln impersonator. Now look, I love Layla as a character. She might be my favorite member of X-Factor. The time travel stuff is all part of the package. And I’ve enjoyed a lot about her romance with Jamie. But there’s a part of it that’s hard to ignore. When Layla was a little girl, Jamie went to the orphanage where she lived and adopted her. She was a precocious teen, but he was her legal guardian. Then time travel happened, and next thing you know, she’s totes jumping his bones.
I get that their love affair was tumultuous. That’s one of the things I like about it! But I needed something, anything, addressing that weirdness. They’ve had plenty of heart-to-hearts about Layla’s villainous choices. I needed a panel where Jamie says, “You are like a completely different person now.” Or a scene where Rictor or Rhane or even Guido points out how icky their romance seems. That would give Jamie a chance to say “No way! I’ve been on adventures throughout time, space, and the multiverse, and this lady here, this awesome adult woman, has always had my back and I love her more than anything in this world or any other.” Because leaving that conversation off the page makes their relationship some serious Woody Allen shit.
Continued belowThe story ends with a big old fashioned superhero fight, the kind we haven’t seen in a long time. There are hordes of zombies and legions of demons, and a beloved team of misunderstood mutants standing in their way. There also is a very intriguing (albeit frustrating) moment with Monet. Once Pip is no longer possessing her, she freaking loses it! At first it seems a little over the top, but then she reminds her team (and the reader) of the years she spent being possessed by her evil brother. It’s honestly pretty chilling to be reminded of it.
And so the whole situation plays out with the ham-handedness we’ve grown to expect from “X-Factor.” Monet literally tries to murder Pip, then gets into a fight with Polaris. There’s screaming, clenched jaws, and then Polaris slaps Monet. There’s sort of an apology, but then a reminder that we’re in, you know, a zombie/demon/mutant fight, and everyone has gotta get their heads back in the game. It’s sort of a microcosm of the entire book. A good point made with frustrating bluntness, wrapped in a package of insensitive jokes and ultimately arriving at no real conclusion. I hope that isn’t true for the series as a whole, because this is shaping up to be one hell of an ending. Wink.
“X-Factor” #250-256, ‘Hell On Earth War’
Written by Peter David
Illustrated by Leonard Kirk
Inked by Jay Leisten
Colored by Matt Milla
Lettered by Corey Petit
‘Hell On Earth War’ could have been an enormous triumph. While it’s by no means a disaster, it feels like the proverbial whimper when it should have been the big bang that brings “X-Factor” to an end. But a mismatched artist, muddled characterization, and external factors hold the story back from greatness. Instead, it feels a bit like a sequel to the classic “X-Men” crossover ‘Inferno.’ And like a lot of sequels, it entertains while its in front of you, but it’s easy to forget once you walk away.
A lot of the problem has to do with Tier, the son of Rahne. The young werewolf is the central character and narrator of the story. The thing is, he’s only ever had a couple of lines of dialogue before all hell literally breaks loose, and his voice is a mess. The kid just feels like an unemotional gray box, noticing the peculiarities around him without any passion, and just going with the flow. The kid works as a MacGuffin- Rahne cares about him, and that’s good enough for me- but David never manages to get me to care about his experience.
The premise feels suitably epic- the Hell Lords are trying to fulfill a whack prophecy. Turns out, Tier was the seven billionth mortal on Earth, and whoever kills him can rule Hell. The thing is, Tier can kill them too, and quickly brings down Pluto. But that brings up another problem. Despite copious foreshadowing involving the demon Jezebel, the Hell Lords pretty much come out of nowhere. Mephisto is a pretty big character, so him I know. Same with Hela. I’ve got some experience with Satanna (mostly from “Thunderbolts”), but she gets no major characterization here. And the same goes for Pluto and I think Satanish? Some other big devil guys? The villains are the most generic demon lords you’ll ever come across, and for them to be a worthy threat, they need more than boilerplate hellish imagery.
That brings us to another big problem, which is that Leonard Kirk is ill suited to draw the legions of Hell. I think Kirk is a more than adequate artist, but he doesn’t bring the creative verve you need to make this story a classic. In ‘Inferno’ you get the likes of Walt Simonson and Marc Silvestri at the height of their powers, bringing mailboxes to life and creating unforgettable demonic transformations. Kirk’s designs are mostly muddy red demon monsters, and his pages are so devoid of fine detail that they go by quickly. When the sky starts bleeding, he draws a bleeding sky, but fails to convey the awe and horror that you hope to feel. You’re just like, “OK, there’s a thing the superheroes have to stop.”
Continued belowThere’s also the matter of Peter David’s health. Right at the beginning of this arc, David suffered a stroke, and was hospitalized for five weeks. David, never one to miss deadlines, continued to dictate his scripts to his wife from what I understand. There’s not a noticeable dip in quality, but you’ve got to figure that such a harrowing experience effects you. Maybe his priorities were changed. Maybe he just wanted to get this story finished. But a lot of the great character work we’ve grown to love is a little lacking.
That’s not to say this story is devoid of any emotion. Jamie gets turned into a demon early on, and Layla’s grief is palpable. But the heart of the story is Guido and Monet. In an early fight, Monet takes a bad hit which leads to a cerebral hemorrhage. She keeps on fighting though, dueling Guido in Hell itself. But she bleeds out and dies. So Guido does the unthinkable- he kills Tier, and becomes the King of Hell. His first act? Reviving and banishing Monet. If nothing else, it’s the most epic part of the story, and Guido-as-Satan seems like a wonderful gift to future writers, most of whom never did much with it.
‘The Hell On Earth War’ is a great idea, but its execution would be an unsatisfying ending to the 150 issue run. Fortunately, it’s not the end. We’ve still got one more story, suitably called ‘The End of X-Factor.’ It looks like a more quiet and contemplative story, and that sounds great. I like the idea of a big heroes versus demons showdown, but at the end of the day I just want to spend a few quiet moments with these lovable mutants.
