Because the ‘final’ 2 episodes of the first season are simply the theatrical film Superman and the Mole Men split into two, this episode gets a full five thoughts to itself. And it couldn’t have happened to a less deserving episode!
1. Stock footage bonanza!
You wouldn’t believe me if I tried to list the amount of stock footage used in this episode. The first 15 minutes of it are nearly entirely composed of stock footage and silent footage. There’s a crime spree in Metropolis, so cue any footage of any sort of car crash/accident possible, and use that as evidence of “crime.” Superman sets out to stop the crime spree, so they cut in footage from past episodes to look new. Some of this is done incredibly poorly, with clearly important scenes/settings from past episodes barely disguised.
Even scenes that would’ve taken two minutes to film are eschewed for stock footage. There’s a scene of someone selling a newspaper shouting “extra, extra” that has dialogue totally divorced from the lips moving; there’s a shot of a broadcaster speaking into a microphone on the radio, but it is shot from behind, so you can’t see what he’s saying. There are multiple spinning paper scenes, but every paper has the same “State Wide Road Block Set Up” story under the headline.
There’s even a scene of someone who set out to spy on Superman’s “friends” at the Daily Planet, and that footage is just cheaply shot footage without sound of the four actors farting around the front of a building with a Daily Planet sign stuck on the outside.
All told, there can’t be more than 10 minutes worth of new footage, with dialogue, shot for this episode. You can tell it is the end of the season and they were desperate to shit out one more episode.
2. So…Superman needed to be convinced to fight crime?
I’ve spent a lot of digital ink this season saying how much Clark hates being Superman, and that’s abundantly clear here again. It takes a crime wave for Superman to ‘commit’ to fighting crime in Metropolis. Wait, what? Isn’t that his whole thing? Not only that, but he promises to find every organized crime figure and either a) lock them up or b) run them out of town. So it is okay to be a criminal, just do it outside of Metropolis city limits, mmmkay? I’m surprised Clark doesn’t just drop a criminal off at the Kent family farm to chill out for a bit and hurt his mom.
3. Acting! is my greatest superpower
The image I chose for this episode shows Superman trapped in some sort of room sized Teslacoil or some shit. Basically, he is lured into a room that has automatic doors and shoots electricity through the air. George Reeves, already a somewhat limited actor, basically just moves around like the landlord from The Big Lebowski during his dance quintet, you know, his cycle, while someone scratched the negative of the film to give the “illusion” of electricity.
Superman then plays dead while the ‘professor’ who engineered this room of death checks his pulse and finds nothing. Obviously, Superman was playing dead, and all is right in the world, and he brags about how easily he could’ve escaped it. I understand the need for this ruse, to lure the ‘big boss’ there, but it looked pretty cheap, even for an incredibly cheap-looking show.
4. “Twist” ending/mystery boss
You can always tell when someone is going to be the ‘surprising’ villain on this show, or any other lazy production. Do you know how? It’s simple, just look for the brand new character that is addressed as someone important, but never does anything in regards to the actual plot.
This episode’s version of that is Walter Canby, an attorney/local do gooder who is mentioned a few times but never really established as to why he’s there. Oh, that’s right, because he’s supposed to be the big twist ending that no one could’ve possibly cared about.
5. How did anyone watching this not give up after this episode?
This episode is bad, really trash, and yet the worst part isn’t the stock footage, hokey plot, or poor acting. It’s a gaping plot hole that has no reason to exist. Because of “Sally” filming the Daily Planet crew, she gets footage of Clark running into an alley and Superman running out. She, and her goon associates, clearly know who Superman is. But yet, they never fucking mention it. Sure, they call the Planet to tell Clark where Superman should go, but people do that almost every episode without knowing that they are the same person.
If they just threatened to go public with it, it would’ve given the episode far more stakes. As it was, Superman cleaned up the crime wave, and was just hunting down one last guy. It felt totally inconsequential, which should never happen when random criminals know his secret identity!
Ugh, this show. Thank goodness next week is the end of my recaps for the year.
