This week, Perry tries to be the alpha male and Superman plays with toys.
1. Perry White is an asshole
Perry White, as portrayed by John Hamilton, is essentially the stereotype of a bad boss: he’s rude to his workers, he thinks he can exist without them, he wants them to work themselves to the bone, and then complains about paying them. “Perry White’s Scoop” is the clearest indication of that yet, but we’ve seen hints of this since the start of the show. There is almost nothing about Perry that comes off as charming in most episodes.
Especially bad is the way he treats Jimmy Olsen, both here and elsewhere. You get the impression that if this was on HBO in the 90s, he’d have called Jimmy every variation of ‘dumb fuck’ known to man. And, yes, Jimmy is a tool, he’s not that much of a tool to deserve all of Perry’s bullshit. Well, at least he wasn’t that much of a tool this week…
2. Clark is a terrible liar
One of the recurring gags in the show is how, at the end of most episodes, someone basically accuses Clark of being Superman, and he makes some shitty comment and gives the camera a smirk. That’s fine; that’s a wink to the audience to end the show on a lighthearted note. What is far more problematic is how bad Clark is at telling even the smallest lie. Now, I know imagining Superman lying is anathema to who he is, but there is one thing he always lies about, and that’s his secret identity.
In one of the weirdest openings of any episode of this show, it begins with a man in an old school scuba diving suit being shot in front of the Daily Planet. This, of course, leads to the Planet renting a suit of their own, which Clark is supposed take. Of course, Superman winds up wearing it, getting shot, and nothing happening. When asked how Superman got the suit so quickly, Clark basically mumbles like Charlie Brown’s teacher and no one suspects a thing.
In most Superman media, he keeps his identity a secret to protect those close to him. On Adventures, he has no one close to him, and he’s a prick to the few people he seems on the reg, so why even both with the Clark Kent facade?
3. Lois is dressed like a Kryptonian for some reason
Exhibit A:
Exhibit B:
4. Lazy writing
Every third episode, Lois spends half her screen time trying to prove that Clark is Superman. This week, they are at a carnival, and Clark is offered to play the classic “use a sledgehammer, try to send the projectile to hit the bell” game, and the carny says “Win the Superman medal!,” to which Lois replies, “If he’s Superman, than I’m queen of the May.” What the hell, Lois? Do you have fucking Memento disease?
5. Practically a Scooby Doo plot
“Beware the Wrecker” is a ridiculous episode that centers on self-sabotage, mistaken identity, model airplanes, overhearing carnival sounds (but not music) over the phone, trap doors in wooden stumps, Clark clearly revealing his identity, letting relatively innocent people die for no real reason, and Inspector Henderson continuing to be the least useful person of a show full of incredibly useless people. Oof.
