Like the bottom of a little bowl filled with bar nuts, we’ve got a lot of little bits and pieces this week and some of it isn’t great but it gets the job done. Panther and the Pals are scooting off to the Bermuda Triangle or something’ to find the long-kidnapped Black Widow and see what she’s up to and end up nuking an entire race of Hydra-engineered snot monsters. It’s only slightly less fun than it sounds.
1. Isla Booglar
The hunt for Black Widow suddenly goes sideways when Black Panther, Iron Man and Captain America survive a plane crash from 20,000 feet. There’s some sort of big-ass energy nullifier on the island where Natasha is being held prisoner by the Shadow Council and it’s wrecking anything with a life-support system on it. This 30 story contraption built by Killmonger is none other than the dreaded Plot Device and threatens to suck up too much of our time so our heroes can bicker just long enough to kiss and make up and hopefully get past all this dumb infighting that slogs the jog like a full diaper.
2. Everybody Nose
For everywhere this episode wants to go the best is probably the big bad booger boys. They have super strength, puke out dozens of tentacles that each individually puke acid and only know to kill. Since the episode is a bit lazy our beautiful booger babies are of indeterminate strength and skill, seemingly able to rip the world apart so long as our heroes are mostly depowered and pointing fingers over who sucks more as a person. Unfortunately our beloved booger bretheren don’t live to see another cybernetic suit to eat and perish in the cleansing fire of atomic annihilation due to the Avengers’ overloading of the nullification condo. Rest in peace you weird little gross-outs.
3. It Snot Working Out
Part of this weirdly paced episode focuses on mending and building the relationship between T’Challa and Tony. I don’t recall him being this much of a bug in previous seasons but Tony is still just goin’ ham on being a stupid butthole, constantly trying to one-up Panther and bringing up how “all of this” is his fault or something. It’s gotten to the point where I loathe the Avengers showing up in this because it’s just going to be this boring blame game that doesn’t make and dang sense. Luckily the energy nullifying luxury condo was able to humble Tony or something by forcing him to solve problems as a human with other humans. T’Challa still claims they’re not friends (I wouldn’t be) and gets all tied up in the aforementioned blame game but ultimately we’re finally in a new ballpark where not everyone has it out for him for just any old reason.
4. Blow the Joint
So, uh, Black Widow has been on this island since before T’Challa and the Avengers had their falling out, missing such events as Tony’s imprisonment of T’Challa, Baron Zemo Hulking out and destroying East Manhattan, the assumed death of Captain America and a giant space ship crashing into the East River. While I don’t doubt her abilities or anything like that, I’m just gobsmacked that she’s been here for, like, six whole months. She plays the thing totally cool but I’d be way less delicate about my pals not noticing that I had suddenly turned into a psychopath with memory loss and didn’t think twice about it.
Anyhow, Natasha’s been sharing the place with the boogermen and even has a nice little homemade arsenal in an ad hoc sword and recoilless rifle to liquefy the competition. While the banter is less than necessary I’m incredibly excited that we just keep getting farther and farther away from everyone being such an unreasonable asshole to T’Challa because it’s convenient for the plot.
5. Pick A Winner
It’s great that Widow is back and Panther is again in good graces with every Avenger (except Hawkeye) because back in Wakanda Bask is out of stasis and hanging out with the Shadow Council. As you may have guessed this was all part of Killmonger’s “plan” and he would totally have you believe that. Bask, now adorned with the Crown, seems like she would automatically be heir to the throne of Wakanda (on account of her co-founding it and all) just by existing. Alas, it’s a trial by combat that will determine the fate of the nation and Bask has possession of the Crown so T’Challa is basically screwed unless he can manage to rally and take out the same Hell on wheels that nuked a prehistoric Atlantis on the next episode!
