Welcome one and all to Multiversity’s very own ‘Witching Hour,’ in which we take a look at Netflix’s Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. Join me this season every Monday for my recap the show’s final season. Things are about to get a little “weird” so strap in folks. Warning, spoilers to follow.
1. The Weird One
This is it. This is the episode I’ve personally been waiting for. Maybe it’s because whenever I think of H.P. Lovecraft, I instinctively think of one his most popular creations, Cthulhu, that I was really pysched up for this episode. This is the closest CAOS is going to get to bringing “The Old One” to the small screen. And I had a good time with it.
So the third Eldritch Terror comes in the form of a squid like creature whose task is to assimilate the people of Greendale (the center of the universe) for The Void, the long awaited final Eldritch Terror and the end of all things. We first meet “The Weird One” as it comes to Blackwood’s church. At this point this season has become a little too formulaic, with each respective terror coming to greet Blackwood followed by Blackwood turning it towards the Spellmans. This Terror needs a host, as the man it’s already inhabiting is drowned. When Blackwood offers himself up freely the Weird One quickly denies him, telling him it’s looking for a strong host, aka Sabrina Spellman, because ya know, she’s the most powerful…
2. Looking For Love
Meanwhile, Sabrina, in a moment of utter brilliance, decides that instead of trying to date like a normal teenager, she’d create her own boyfriend out of clay–er– candle wax. This candle is important because she used it for a spell that affected both Harvey and Nick. She wants Harvey’s wholesomeness with a little Nick Scratch bad boy attitude. It’s her perfect guy. All she needs is a couple of days for the little guy to grow human size and all of her worries will be washed away.
And just when she thought that was that, a new boy named Lucas Hunt, who’s on the swim team, joins her science class as they’re about to dissect a squid. Hmm, I see a common thread connecting Cthulhu to a dead squid here and a new guy on the swim team.
3. The New Weird Sisters
While Sabrina is fixated on her love life, the rest of the coven is concerning itself, rightly so, with the coming end of the world. There are six Eldritch Terrors left and no one knows when or in what way they’ll manifest. Thanks to Roz and Harvey, the coven at least know a little more than they did before. The point is these otherworldly beings have one thing in mind, utter destruction and the return to nothingness, the Void.
It’s after this meeting that Mambo Marie takes a keen interest in Roz’s gift, the cunning. She informs Roz that she is indeed a witch, a seer. But I ask myself, is that really surprising? Roz has had this supernatural gift since the beginning and no one in the coven suspected this was the case? Anyway, together with Mamba Marie and Prudence (who hysterically cannot remember meeting Roz) the three witches become the new Weird Sisters. They will be Sentinels, guarding the Celestial, Mortal and Infernal realms.
And wow. That last sentence can be an episode all by itself. We know of the existence of Angels, but a whole realm of Celestials? Let’s see some of that! This is yet another example of why the show needed a little more breathing room, or should have cut some things. There are simply too many things going on.
4. Assimilation
So the Weird One’s plan is to infiltrate the Spellman residence (another formulaic part of this season is the mortuary business has been booming) and use Sabrina as its host. As Sabrina brings her new lab partner home for some PG-13 intimacy, he’s freaked out by Sabrina’s tongue. It’s got suction cups on it! Like a squid. Ambrose uses some kind of magical CT scan and discovers the Eldritch Terror has attached itself to Sabrina’s intestines. Because it’s a cephalopod, the creature needs a ton of water. Ambrose’s plan involves the river witch sucking all of the water out of Sabrina, causing the thing to dry up and die. And while its good on paper and seems to work, lets remember this is an Eldritch Terror and won’t be beaten so easily. Back at school Sabrina/The Weird One floods her classroom with neon blue light and begins speaking with dueling voices. telling everyone they’ll all be colonized and sent to the void.
Continued belowWhile attached to her brain the Weird One tells her Sabrina was nothing but an empty vessel, ready to be filled, insinuating she truly has no idea who she is or what she stands for. Just as she’s ready to give in, Ambrose shows up in the nick of time to knock everybody out and make them forget they were all about to become part of a cosmic hive mind. He takes Sabrina/The Weird One back to the Spellmans where we discover the little bastard squid has attached it self to Sabrina’s brain. Their plan is for the Rot witch to infest Sabrina’s brain with the worst diseases known to man and they hope its enough to draw the Weird One out so it could attach to a new willing host, an unsuspecting squid in a tank.
5. Lovers Duet
In order for Sabrina to survive this ordeal, she must focus on a specific mantra. She starts singing “Sixteen Going On Seventeen” because apparently not even a year has passed in the show’s timeline. Now, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina has never been shy about its musical numbers. They’ve used the Instagram feeds to show musical numbers and Part 3’s trailer was a whole musical production. So it’s no surprise that Nick Scratch, in an effort to help Sabrina realize how strong she is, joins Sabrina for a duet of the song. I’ll admit that I rolled my eyes a little, but c’mon, this is the show, I should know this by now. And although its extremely cheesy, it’s a nice reminder that Nick still has mucho feelings for Spellman. The next day, Sabrina discovers that her new friend Lucas has transferred. Maybe being forced to become part of a hive mind was a bit too much for him. But it’s probably a good thing. Greendale is too weird
Stray Thoughts
– Once again I find myself without room for everything in the episode. There was a whole subplot about Caliban trying to kill Lilith and her unborn child while Sabrina Morningstar and Lucifer were attending to other business. And it’s not like I didn’t enjoy that subplot. I think Michelle Gomez’s Lilith is one the show’s strongest characters. Lilith gives birth to a baby boy named Adam. This was a major plot point last season and because the show has changed its focus and has so many dangling threads it wasn’t given the space it needed. More episodes or even another season would have been great, Netflix.
That’s it for this week folks. Come back next week for something perverse.
