This week Doom Patrol has more junk packed in the trunk than a skate punk with mixtapes of funk trying to make a dunk in the hoop like a drunk with gunk in his hair like he thinks he’s a hunk. That is to say, there’s a lot going on in “Dumb Patrol” and we’re here, as always, to parse it all out. Here’s five thoughts and, remember, beware of spoilers.
1. Let’s Get Dumb
Let’s get this one out of the way as, obviously, “Dumb Patrol” revolves around the gang acting…well…dumb. Inhaling Scants may seem like a fun and harmless party favor but it is, in fact, highly dangerous. The team isn’t so much dumb as they are infected with bad ides, much like I was in my twenties. This should lead to much hilarity and trope-y behavior but it is weirdly underutilized. One would expect a deluge of immature humor and slapstick situations yet they are oddly absent here. Even Roni’s surgery is interrupted, but we’ll discuss why that is later.
2. My Bees!
Rita is on her Bee Ess this week as she shadows a beekeeper. That was such a weak pun but so are her acting attempts so let’s get silly here, right? Regardless, her interactions with the beekeeper open doors only knocked on and Rita is forced to confront her views on motherhood. It’s a cathartic moment that leads only to more bees, unfortunately. It is much like the end of “My Girl” in that way, except with significantly less dead Macauley Culkin, and about the same amount of heart.
3. It’s Not a Competition
Doom Patrol is doing its damndest to make Niles Caulder somehow worse than Professor Charles Xavier, which is amusing when you consider that “X-Men” may actually be a rip-off of this intellectual property. After jettisoning Cliff from space, our lovely Chief elects to go speak directly with the “Candlemaker.” Here we learn that this persona is not actually of Dorothy’s creation, which really calls her culpability in all of this into question. There is really no doubt at this point that the waxy, wily wish-granter is really the antagonist of this season.
4. Butt. Hole. Masks.
There’s really no eloquent way around this. Kipling shows up with a butthole mask. This is further hammered in with the sketches shown in Chief’s film about the Scants. Somehow the best way to defend against these parasites is creating an anus around your mouth and nose. Perhaps this could help protect us against COVID-19. Who’s to say?
5. Station Closed
What is most curious this week is Miranda taking over, and what that means for the myriad of personas within Crazy Jane. She seems to be fairly harmless and doing her best to deal with her surroundings but there is something in the air that makes this identity untrustworthy. Whatever her intentions she does help the gang avoid as much dumb-ness as possible, but I’ve got my eye on her.
This episode good. “Dump Patrol” real enjoyable. Still not as good as first season. But only two episodes left. Keep tuned for more Doop Patrol and thoughts and stuff.
