Welcome back to our recap of Fox’s hit TV series, Gotham. As the one person who watches this show, it’s been decided that I should be the one to chronicle its existence so history could never forget. Kind of like The Giver, I think. As always, I refuse to look up anything that happened in the previous two seasons of Gotham because I only started watching two weeks ago. Also, look out for spoilers from here on out.
Sorry for this column being late. I know Gotham‘s a crazy show but I didn’t expect them to actually an air an episode on Halloween. While I do love spending my Monday nights watching the Mad Hatter rhyme his way through random murders, I had to prioritize my responsibilities. So I chose to dress up as David Pumpkins and push the TV recap back a day. Sorry.
Last time on Gotham, The Mad Hatter made Gordon choose having him kill Gordon’s girlfriend kill his ex or his current girlfriend. Gordon, a gentleman, asked that Hatter kill Leslie Tompkins but Hatter shot Vale instead and got away to keep bothering us until the fall break finale. The Penguin realized he was in love with the Riddler but while Riddler was picking up wine for the date where Cobblepot would confess his feelings, he met a woman who looked exactly like his the ex girlfriend he strangled to death. Nygma, who’s supposed to be a genius, didn’t begin immediately screaming and proceeded to flirt with her, standing Penguin up. The police commissioner is also turning into something because he accidentally drank a dead girl’s blood, Bruce Wayne asked Selina Kyle on a date, and the Court of Owls exists. Gotham!
1. Jim Gordon’s Sad Penis Hallucination
This week, Hatter takes his plans to the next level. Tetch blames Gotham City itself for taking his sister away from him, which sounds pretty ridiculous but fits with his whole delusional “It’s not my fault that Alice was a tortured soul despite the fact I sexually abused her, it’s everyone else’s!” deal. To that end, he’s going to make Gotham pay by poisoning all of Gotham’s most powerful leaders at their annual Founder’s Dinner with his sister’s blood. As one does.
Before Tetch attacks the Founder’s Dinner, he needs to take care of Jim Gordon who’s still standing in for Batman for the next fifteen years. Tetch picks up a hallucinogenic called “Red Queen” from an apothecary who is the most “about to be murdered” NPC in the history of genre television. Red Queen causes major trips into people’s psyches which is perfect for Gordon because he’s spent this whole season being bitter about his ex and his current hook up. He’s even doubly bitter now that everyone knows he told Hatter to shoot Tompkins so he would actually shoot Vale. He’s a susceptible mess, which makes him the perfect victim for Hatter to throw into one of the hallucination levels from the Arkham games.
Gordon’s hallucination’s aren’t all that intense. They mostly involve children he knows threatening his life and his ex in a skimpy nurse outfit. That’s kind of a regular dream for me. The big part of Gordon’s hallucination comes at the end where he meets a vision of his father who tells him to remember the Gordon family motto which somehow isn’t just a picture of a whiskey bottle. When Gordon wakes up, Hatter having been already caught at the dinner, he goes to his apartment and finds a box of family mementos. Inside, he finds a ring with the motto “While we breathe, we shall defend” inscribed on it, inspiring him to go ask for his detective job back. Thanks magic family ring, I hope you don’t become important in the immediate future.
2. The Playa Hatter’s Ball
Hatter’s plan to poison Gotham’s one percent with his sister’s magic blood doesn’t go according to plan because the morgue guard Hatter’s men bribed told the cops Hatter’s henchman was driving a catering van. From that, Bullock and Barnes are able to figure out Tetch will be at the Founder’s Dinner. The guard also tells the cops the guy who bribed him was wearing a wrestling mask but that wasn’t enough for anybody to follow up on.Continued below
At the dinner, Mayor Cobblepot converses with Kathryn from the Court of Owls who’s kind of just here to remind everyone that they’re still a thing because she just Irish goodbyes the whole party. Kathryn had pretty good timing since Tetch immediately barges in to give everyone the poisoned blood wine. Fortunately, GCPD burst in and knock the crap out of Hatter ending this before Hatter can look like any kind of threat to someone not named Jim Gordon. Barnes says nobody’s going to see Tweedle Dee and Dum again which is a crying shame considering that all I wanted form Gotham was a larger focus on evil pro wrestlers.
3. Bruce Wayne’s Big Date
Bruce Wayne had a date with Selina Kyle but she stood him up. I have nothing for this. I think this whole plot was here to remind people that Batman and Catwoman are on the show. Turns out that Bruce Wayne can bake a cake? That’s exciting.
4. Red Flags
As has been established, the only thing I actually care about on Gotham is the romantic tension between Riddler and Penguin. It’s been ruined by Nygma meeting Isabella, a girl who looks just like the woman he strangled to death. That’s red flag number one. Riddler tells Penguin all about her and, in a jealous fit, Cobblepot goes to meet her at the library where she’s been cutting up paper dolls of herself and Nygma. Red Flag 2. Penguin lets it slip that Nygma was in Arkham and Isabella asks if that meant he murdered someone. Penguin delightedly mouths “yes” in the best line reading of Robin Lord Taylor’s career and scuttles off. But, that night, Cobblepot finds Isabella with Edward and she’s totally fine with him having strangled a woman who looks just like her to death. RED FLAG NUMBER THREE!
So what’s the betting odds looking like on Isabella being a resurrected version of Kristin Kringle? Yes, Gotham named a character that. Clayface? If she’s a Talon from the Court of Owls I’ll take back everything bad I’ve said about this show.
5. The Court of Daddies
This episode’s final scene is Kathryn from the Court of Owls talking to a stranger in the shadows. She says Cobblepot’s a criminal but could be useful. The stranger, being as ominous as could possibly be then say something about judgement coming to Gotham. He then leans forward and we see that he’s wearing the same ring Gordon’s dad was wearing earlier. So is Jim’s dad still alive and working for the Court? Is this Gordon’s secret brother? Is this James Gordon Jr. from the future? Did that Bruce Wayne clone get aged up? I guess we’ll figure out some time in like May.
Next week on Gotham, Gordon interrogates the Mad Hatter in Arkham because we’re still not done with that clown.