Time for a wild weekend of partying, (non)bottomless Mimosas, and sex between good friends. Would you expect any less from Harley Quinn? It’s time for Ivy to bid farewell to her single life with a bachelorette party fit for a supervillain. Harley has assembled her own Justice League of fun with bride-to-be Ivy, Catwoman, Mrs. Freeze, and Jennifer. You know, Jennifer. Where do you hold a Bachelorette party where all participants will be safe to have fun? Themyscira, of course.
We also get a look into King Sharks’ backstory. This is something I have been begging the series to show for the entire season. He also gets his own knockoff Sebastian crab. Low and behold, KS is a prince of the ocean and is scheduled for an arranged marriage. To a Hammerhead shark with the magical ability to smoke underwater. Also, Kite Man has a bachelor party and invites all of his fiance’s friends. Has he no friends of his own? Sometimes Kite Man can bum you out. Time to dig into it all. I have thoughts. Five, to be exact. Spoilers ahead.
1. These writers are really exploring the space.
The writers of Harley Quinn are really exploring the DC universe. Not only for characters to use but locations. What a smart move to have Themyscira house a bachelorette party. Where else would all these ladies be free to party without fear of some dirty bastard taking advantage of them? The place where women literally rule, that’s where. It also gives them a chance to poke fun at one of DC’s stupidest inventions, the invisible car. Turns out, the Amazon’s really like invisible vehicles, for no earthy reason it seems. No one besides our gang even gets in the damn invisible transports. I also feel bads for the birds or any animals for that matter anywhere near that island. Lots of roadkill. They never even see it coming.
2. Lamarr Watch 2020
I feel the need to call out Phil Lamarr when he shows up on the series. He does a great job as Samson, the disgusting lobster, and Shark God, King Sharks, one-eyed papa. Mr. Lamarr tapped into his inner Hermes and pulled a thick Jamaican accent out for the singing crustacean. Speaking of which.
3. I can do without poop songs
This may be a low point for the series. Shit jokes. What a base level joke for these folks. I suppose they had fun writing it, but I don’t need to see fish shit at one another. I don’t have a problem with poop (I wipe my kid’s butt every day), it just feels lazy given the lengths this group has gone to make a witty joke. It’s a dig at Disney’s penchant to sing about everything. It doesn’t excuse how shitty it all is. Literally. Figuratively as well. And then you drag Phil Lamarr into it. Shame on you.
4. “Mind-blowing orgasmic sex”
We knew it was coming. Here it is, Ivy and Harley have finally hooked up. Like, fully hooked it all up. Twice. For some reason, Ivy keeps fighting these feelings (cue REO Speedwagon) she has for Harley. You don’t just have sex with your best friend and chalk it up to a “wild night.” Ivy gave the lame explanation that Harley would move on from her once she got interested in something else. I call bullshit on that. Do you not remember how dedicated Harley was to Joker? It was the crux of season one. When Harley loves, she loves hard. Ivy is just looking for a way out. But we all know where this will end up. Kite Man crying and these two love doves traveling the world, fighting crimes and sexing.
5. Jennifer is a murder machine
Who is Jennifer? Is she part of the DC Universe. I mean, she is now, but was she before? I only ask because Jen’s a very competent fighter. She defeated Amazon’s. That’s no easy feat. The only other person to do that was Zack Snyder. Perhaps she will be revealed as Circe or something. It would be even better if she just becomes a superhero named Jennifer, who now goes by Jen. Fueled by Mimosas and petty passive-aggressiveness, Jen can be a great addition to Harley’s crew. Get her all liquored up and release her on Gotham. Chaos abounds. She is truly evil at heart. Who bites people? Evil people, that’s who.
The wrap-up
So sad for Harley. We all know what rejection feels like. It hurts. Especially when it’s by someone you love. Lucky for her, we know they will end up together. I just can’t picture Ivy settling down with Kite Man and his roommate. Ivy and Harley will Thelma and Louise it by the close of this season. Or the writers will prove me wrong, and Kite Man will put a baby in Ivy, causing her and Quinn to go all Brokeback Mountain. That is an excellent reference since Heath Ledger was in that and played the Joker. The Joker, as we all remember, dated Harley Quinn. This is prime stuff people, why do I need to explain it to you. Catch you next week, Hyenas!
