2019 comes to a close with episode five of Harley Quinn. The only true way to end the decade is with an irreverent episode of animated television. Harley’s fifth outing gives us a deeper look at quite literally the way Quinn’s mind words. If you have ever wanted to peer into the psyche of a madwoman, this episode has you well covered. Harley and her brandless band of misfits crawl into Dr. Quinzel’s on an adventure to fix Harley’s comatose body.
In the spirit of the new year, I have compiled a list of five new year resolutions based on episode five. Have a blessed and safe holiday, and if you are the type of person to make a list of new year resolutions, maybe one of these will stick. As always, minor spoilers ahead. Happy 2020, welcome to the future.
1. Write your own origin story
Everyone’s story is unique and special in its own way. It’s yours, which makes it unique to you. Don’t let anyone dictate your story, you are the writer of your own destiny. If you find yourself at the mercy of someone else who may have control of your ship, it’s time to take the reins and right your course. Harley has been on a post-breakup marathon, attempting to take her life back from the Joker. Harley allowed herself ownership of the birth of the real Harley Quinn. Knowing who you are, where you came from, and where you are going is true self-empowerment. That’s an example we should all follow. I would hope your self-actualization doesn’t lead you to become a manic supervillain, but who am I to judge. Follow your bliss. It’s a new year, write your origin if you haven’t already.
2. Let go of past negativity and strive for a positive future
We all have negativity in our past that certainly formed who we are today. Sometimes we may dwell on that hurtful moment, a negative interaction, or terrible year. These things begin to poison us. With a fresh new decade upon us (we haven’t even cracked the freshness seal on it), it’s time to look to the future. Embrace new beginnings and let go of all the dangerous, harmful nonsense that came before. Bad relationships with homicidal sociopaths hell-bent on perpetuating a cycle of chaos? Get out and move on to better things. Terrible jobs with ungrateful clowns, ditch them and realize your true potential. Is the Suicide Squad recruiting you for a position in their ranks? Say yes to new opportunities. Embrace 2020 and make it the start of a positive life. Harley is. Don’t you want to be more like her? (See above for my thoughts on becoming a supervillain.)
3. Enjoy everything in moderation
The January gym memberships are a bandaid to the real problem, lack of moderation. If you overeat, drink too much, or love Francisco Muniz too much. It’s all bad for you. You can lift every weight in the world, but if you don’t cut back on all the things that are harming you, it will all be for not. You can gain more weight, get deep into alcoholism, or go to a juvenile detention center for stalking the star of Malcolm in the Middle. Just remember to take all good things in moderation, and you are on the right path to a successful year. Maybe only watch Agent Cody Banks once a month? I do wonder what it was about Mr. Munez that Harley found so appealing.
4. Have your friends backs
Nothing beats great friends. One great friend can improve your life. If you have that friend, vow to double down on your friendship and have their back no matter what. Ask yourself, would you bestie allow some creepy psycho powered “doctor” to invade your mind without backup? Turn the question on yourself, would you let that to happen to your pal? Poison Ivy wouldn’t, I will tell you that. Do you think you are better than Poison Ivy? Can you control the Green? I didn’t think so. Poison Ivy has been the best friend everyone wishes they had. She is full of useful advice, she lets her pals squat in her house rent-free, and she always has her friend’s best interest in mind. We can all take a page from that book. Good on the rest of Harley’s crew for not allowing Psycho to mind-molest our (anti)hero. In 2020, make sure your friends know you have their back, and vice versa. Start a text chain or a D&D Game night. Keep those good, positive people around.
5. Don’t have a volcano lair
This is just general life advice, don’t have a volcano lair. I know its cool and a badass thing to tell the opposite sex, but damn it you won’t survive in there. Lava is red hot. It’s really stinking hot. Think West Indian Pepper Sauce hot, but if you were in the same room with it, your skin would melt off. It isn’t worth it, friends. There are so many other viable lairs around the world that won’t intentionally boil you from inside out. Abandon malls are good. Grab a haunted asylum or some old tanker ship that has run aground. Leave volcanos alone. No Bueno.
