Was there ever a Kurosawa movie called “Citadel on the Edge of Vengeance?” Because there should have been. When you’re talking classic samurai and bushido stories, that’s a great title. Does this episode live up to it? Join me for Iron Fist season 2 episode 8, and let’s find out!
1. Sweatpants cult
So Davos has moved from community organizer to full-on sweatpants cult. Every one of his street kids is now wearing matching sweatsuits. It would be cute if it wasn’t so simultaneously freaky and tacky. And the worst choices Davos makes here aren’t even sartorial. He messes up so bad it is profoundly funny.
I want you to put yourself in the shoes of the restaurant owner. Davos, an intense bearded man with a fancy accent, approaches you in an alley, followed by a half dozen dead eyed children in matching sweatsuits. Davos says, “I want to protect you.” And you’re a practical person, you say “sure how much will that be?” And Davos says, “No, the only price to pay is that you must be a good person.” And this is New York, that sounds like a scam, plus there are the zombie-faced urchins. “Ummmm, no thank you. That’s a nice offer but…” Davos: moves on to murder in 4.5 seconds.
What the actual hell!?
2. Mary interrupted
As we fill in the blanks on Mary’s story, we aren’t learning anything radical, but the story is still pretty rad. The way information is doled out is like a classic horror movie. Mary thanks Walker for always being there for them, for protecting them. And through flashbacks we learn that it might not always have been Walker. When stuff was going down in Sokovia, Mary Walker was deployed on some sort of military op. But she and her squad went missing for days, presumably killed by Ultron I guess. By implication, it is very clear that a third persona who we’ll call, oh I don’t know, Typhoid, murdered her whole squad and is still lurking, ready to Jekyll and Hyde her way to the top. Spooky
Let’s also take a moment to acknowledge Ward, who does something shocking: he continues to suck at everything! By shocking I meant predictable and amazing. If you were own the fence about Ward, the moment he asked, “What’s a good bouquet to buy for your girlfriend who you knocked up and then fell off the wagon in front of?” is sort of the clincher. What an everyday hero. Ward sucks and I love him and I don’t know why.
3. Happy/sad Joy Joy
Joy is trying to do the right thing! Yay. But she is almost as bad at it as her brother. Huh. She’s decided to betray Davos, and after a few attempts at openly trying to steal the bowl (Bowl. Bowl. Bowl.) she teams up with Colleens little urchin friend to recover it. While tension is high, the details are sort of forgettable. Captain One-Eye is up to something is his own right, Davos is an unreasonable crazy person, and Joy and her little buddy need to get at the bowl which is behind some bricks. It’s not exactly cinematic, but what can you expect from a MacGuffin as silly as a bowl? (Bowl).
4. Dojo for shmucks
I’m still furious with Danny. I just can’t think of anything ruder, more entitled, or more disrespectful than what he did. Colleen quit being a martial arts instructor for very emotional reasons. She converted her place of work into a living space. And Danny petulantly decided he didn’t care, turned it back, and wore her down until she decided to do the one thing she said she didn’t want to do. There have been a couple of moments this season where a better Danny has shined through, but this is everything everyone hates about Danny and it’s not the first time he’s pulled this shit. He’s really glad at asking for permission, and never takes no for an answer. That’s gross dude, and more than making me hate Danny, it takes me out of the show. It makes me feel like the writers are doing a bad job.
On the plus side, Colleen mentioned her Grandfather. That’s dope. In the comics, Colleen was raised by her Grandfather in the 60s. He taught her how to fight with a katana and the code of Bushido. He was mad old, and the implication was that he was literally old enough to remember Feudal Japan (which in many ways still existed in the early 20th century). He was literally passing on the code of the Samurai. Colleen Wing is the Last Samurai. Tom Cruise can go suck a lemon.Continued below
5. Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage
Cage fight! Keep it coming show! Martial arts show needs to fight, and this one is cool. All of notes up until this point say that Colleen should just be the one to fight Davos. She’s not injured. She’s one of the world’s best fighters. And she has the spiritual fortitude necessary to face such a strong bad guy. And to my surprise Danny agrees! Throughout the cage match, Colleen tells Danny all the ways in which he sucks. She’s not even that rude about it, just stating some harsh facts. By the end of their fight (which is close, but Danny wins) she has Danny convinced. He doesn’t think he deserves the Iron Fist. He thinks she should have it.
Oh. Snap. Let’s do this!