It’s…uh…we’re reviewing Jessica Jones here at Multiversity and…oh my God, holy shit. This isn’t a bit. Somebody, please call the police. This isn’t a bit I’m–
That’s enough. Continue the review
It’s very difficult to review “A.K.A. A Whole Lotta Worms.” It’s mainly difficult because my arms are strapped to my desk chair and I feel a weird hangover from whatever I was injected with from Scott Buck last week.
Who said Scott injected you?
No…it…it can’t be…
Just give the damned review you feckless skinsack. We don’t have all day here. Neither does the audience.
Okay. Well, I guess this is a group effort now. So Scott Buck, and myself, and I guess Melissa Rosenberg at this point are here to talk to you about Jessica Jones. Beware of spoilers and beware the Buck (And Melissa). Here’s five thoughts on “A.K.A. A Whole Lotta Worms.”
*A note to my editor: Why haven’t you sent help?*
1. I’m Done Playing
As we open the episode Jessica is released from police custody. She is no longer a suspect because another murder has occurred while she was being remanded. This season has felt rife with lazy storytelling tropes and this is yet another convenient plot device to move scenes forward. Suspension of disbelief–as I’ve noted in previous reviews–can only take one so far and a severe lack of police procedure takes the audience out of the experience.
*At this point, my face is assaulted with a hard corner of what I groggily realize is the butt of a gun. My vision blurs and then comes back to focus on Melissa*
Ouch.
But What Happens Next?
Yes. Tell us what happens next Mr. Arnold.
2. Man, He Wakes Up Quick
Jess returns home to find Erik in her shower, placed there by Gillian who claims to have thrown her back out dragging him in. As the showerhead softly pelts him we hear a muttering of “I’m drowning.” Then he suddenly becomes lucid as he sits up and explains the plot of the last episode to both Jessica and us, the audience–even though we’re acutely aware as we’ve been watching while strapped to a desk chair. Oh, wait, that’s just me, right?
*THWACK*
Jesus, that hurts.
Maybe that will teach you to be so flippant.
Or to appreciated subtle storytelling.
This show, and what is happening to me, are anything but subtle.
3. My Differential Diagnosis
The neutering of Sallinger as a villain is perhaps the most disappointing part of this season. I’m not arguing some feminist agenda here–
Are you sure?
I’m not, Melissa! Do you want me to write or not?!
I…anyway, it’s not to say I feel some underlying political machinations are being exercised here. It just feels like bad writing. Sallinger was introduced as a truly intimidating antagonist only to take a backseat to Trish’s dark turn. The truth of Sallinger’s defeat is that it doesn’t come at the heel of a boot in the episode’s conclusion, but rather in the opening sequences of A.K.A. A Whole Lotta Worms. As he sulks in Hogarth’s office and begrudgingly forces Jess into being his temporary bodyguard, you can tell this was not the plan.
Not his plan or not my plan?
I’m not sure anyone really has a plan here.
Watch out now. Her pistol-whipping arm looks antsy, Mr. Arnold.
Wait…what did you call me?
Do you really think you have any secrets from us?
We write mysteries, do you think you’re really clever enough to outsmart us with your little reviews?
4. Private Eyes, They’re Watching You
The “Gotcha” moment that sees Jessica having Sallinger taken into custody feels cheap and und–
Are you sure you want to do this?
The. “Gotcha.” moment. Feels. Cheap.
*My temple is sore already before another blow leaves me barely conscious and my fingers uneasy on these keys*
The “Gotcha” moment of Jess being captured by Sallinger is trope-heavy and expected. It is a poorly-paced narrative that leaves the audience–
The “audience?”
That leaves me rolling my eyes. Did you think–shit, not you, Scott–Melissa, did you think the audience would find this to be riveting? Edge-of-your-seat? A real thrill ride?
Maybe we’ve given you too loose of a leash
Continued belowI should have called you earlier. I’m sorry. I kept thinking he’d change his tune.
Let’s let him rest before his final entry in this series.
Sorry folks, Dexter will be sitting out the rest of this week. We’ll see if he’s in better spirits next week.
5. True Believer
Hey, wasn’t it a treat to see Trish’s character development this week? Melissa really put a lot of thought into her backstory, especially the scene where she breaks down the abusive relationship between her parents. It truly is a compelling breakdown and representation of some mature and intellectual themes, right?
You might question our involvement in this review series. I admit, it’s not ideal. We prefer reviewers to be objective. But I felt a particular need to get involved here, due to my friendship with Melissa. Hopefully when Mr. “Buschetelli” awakens he’ll have a more acceptable view of the finale to Jessica Jones. If not? Well, I can’t make any promises. But join us next week as we take a look at “A.K.A. Everything.”
He damn well–
Calm yourself, Melissa. Let’s just wait till next week.
