Legends isn’t part of the “Elseworlds” crossover? Fine, they’ll have their own crossover with exploding unicorns, gangster fairy godmothers and f-raggle puppets! What? Well, Constantine broke the timeline and Zari’s a cat now. Legends everybody!
1. I Didn’t Know Cats Could Act
I know cats are wonderfully expressive, hence why the Internet is powered by photos and gifs of them, but I was amazed by how good the cat doubling for Tala Ashe was in this episode. It was just so perfectly conveyed her weariness, and disgruntlement at being there like that. Like many things this episode, I laughed pretty hard at how they got it to do things like using the jump ship’s interface, or pet Constantine out of sympathy when he was having an emotional moment. If only there was a way for Zari and Zari Cat to share some screentime…
2. Three Title Sequences
Charlie discovers that by preventing Dez’s death, Constantine never joins the Waverider, and Sara is “unicorned” at Woodstock, causing the remaining Legends to turn into the vengeful Custodians of the Chronology, who casually murder a leprechaun in Las Vegas. Realizing their mistake, Charlie and Constantine blow up the unicorn with the jump ship instead, but this only leads to Mick, Ray and Nate dying in Salem, and Gideon being given a body to replace them with Sara and Ava. Using her shapeshifting abilities, Charlie saves the boys, but for whatever reason Mick strikes up a bond with the Fairy Grandmother, and departs to rob banks with her, but not before having her turn the Legends into DC’s Puppets of Tomorrow.
Look, I could go on about how hilarious this extended run of sketches is, from Ava dying her hair black to mourn Sara, to that iconic shot of Mick and the Fairy Godmother, and Charlie flying her jump ship back-and-forth across time like a Scooby-Doo episode to save everyone (including Gary, whose surname we learned is Green). But to stick to one point and concentrate on it, I think the fake new title sequences for each of the new realities (Custodians of the Chronology, Sirens of Space-Time and Puppets of Tomorrow) were jaw-dropping, as the way they casually interrupt the show turns it into more of a self-parody than ever – even while parodying old shows like Charlie’s Angels. With so much good stuff, this is definitely going to be one of the most rewatchable episodes.
3. Holy Homicidal Tendencies
It was unsettling to see how murderous the Legends (no matter their name) became in each timeline due to Charlie’s absence. I gotta admit, I’m a bit dubious about that, given Sara’s always struggled with her darker side and Ray, no matter what, is always gonna be a sweetheart (he is totally unconvincing as a Rambo-type), but I guess that’s why it’s rather alarming. It led to a really tense and nailbiting climax where Sara and Charlie fight to the death (with some slightly gratuitous violence), and Present Constantine was going to get shrunken and toasted by Ray and Mick (who think he’s a shapeshifter) before his reboot of reality kicked in. I love, by the way, that it’s Past Constantine and Dez’s kiss that restores reality: true love solves everything, as it should.
4. Who’s Being Selfish Here?
Appropriately in time for Christmas, this episode is basically It’s a Wonderful Life, showing what life would be like if Constantine and Charlie weren’t there for the Legends. I can’t help but wonder why, after Zari was back to her old snack-loving self that she, Constantine and Charlie could’ve returned to the Waverider in the present after patching everything up beforehand. Z made a fun reference to history being messed up elsewhere, but we know that’s not Constantine’s fault (no spoilers for “Elseworlds”). Sara would probably still try to break Charlie’s neck after learning what they’d done, but hey, she got her shapeshifting skills, so she’d be ok once she had time to calm down. Basically, this was just a fun standalone episode that’s not supposed to factor into further development when the show resumes – but poor Dez had to die again so everyone else could carry on as usual.
Continued below5. Picking Up the Pieces
We only got scene on the true Earth’s timeline this week, which was Hank receiving a phone call learning about the escaped kaupe. We saw another version of Mona this week from the timeline where the Custodians made her friend into a rug, but other than that we’re left to assume the real version of her is still bleeding out in that tunnel. And finally, we saw Neron has returned, now in Dez’s body: oh f-raggle rock indeed.
Bonus thoughts:
– Pretty dumb of Charlie to not check where the Custodians’ version of Sara had gone.
– On the other hand, made total sense for Gary to believe his doppelganger was him from the future.
– Should Sirens of Space-Time be abbreviated SOST? Not SOS? Whatever, they’re lethal, I won’t argue.
– Very cozy and Christmassy to see Ava reading Mick’s novel while he uses her recipe.
God, it’s gonna be a long wait until April. I guess it’s only fair as Legends delayed much of Supergirl‘s last season, but boy I can’t wait for more of “the usual insanity that passes for normal” on this show.
