Hank Heywood’s dead, murdered by Neron in his office, and the Legends have a wake to attend. However, Sara, Charlie, Zari and Mona spirit themselves away to England, 1802, when it appears a fugitive has prevented Jane Austen (Jenna Rosenow) from writing her most beloved works, while Ray brings Nora to the Waverider. Oh, and Hank’s spirit is still knocking around so Constantine needs to have the titular chat – Legends everybody!
1. Bromantic Buddies
I knew things would be awkward between Ray and Nate after Nora was framed for Hank’s murder, what with the whole “sorry my girlfriend murdered your dad” thing, but it turned out to be pretty sweet, with Ray avoiding Nate at the wake at first and then bumping into him, and Nate being understanding. Then afterwards, when Ray leaves with Sara and the rest of the gang to fix history, he gives Nate a little peck goodbye, which really sells how close they are: between this and the Game of Thrones season premiere, it’s been a great week for male friends/family kissing without an air of “ew, gay.”
2. Lust is in the Air
Mona’s “Wolfie” persona has gifted her human side some enhanced senses, like sniffing out some feelings Zari has for Nate. Charlie notes it’s been a while since Zari got laid, so she should find another man to see if those feelings for Nate are real or not: and on that note, Sara, Charlie, Zari and Mona go to Bath, England, in 1802 to find Jane Austen at a wedding where the bride confesses she has feelings for the scullery maid, and more revelations ensue (To quote Charlie, “Now this is what I call a wedding!”)
Austen reveals everyone in town has been losing their inhibitions since a certain Lord Remington arrived, and Zari quickly learns the Lord’s coachman is Sanjay (Sachin Bhatt), an immortal loverboy who possesses the ashes of Kamadeva, the late Hindu god of love. While detained in the Waverider, Sanjay blows his deva dust into the air vents, giving everyone a very good night’s sleep, especially Zari, who fantasizes about having sex with him and Nate: well, I’m glad that’s settled.
Meanwhile, Ray finds Nora, who winds up being stashed in his quarters on the Waverider. It leads to some very dry humor, with him getting Gideon to make some (very old-fashioned looking) pyjamas, trying to share the one bed without it turning into Planes, Trains and Automobiles, and deciding he can just sleep in a chair (which he’s somehow successful at, much to the exhausted Nora’s confusion). Sanjay’s deva dust arrives, causing them to both share a spicy dream about bedding each other, and finally putting their inhibitions aside: gotta say, the sight of Brandon Routh kissing his real-life wife’s shoulder is pretty intimate.
3. Mona the Love-Sick Puppy
You could say Zari and Mona’s relationship was the crux of this episode: it’s very similar to the old Ray/Zari dynamic, with Zari’s cynicism brushing against the other person’s overt optimism. Mona gets upset fantasizing about Konane again, and after an argument with Zari about how it was immature of her to fall in love with that man-beast, she loses control of her alter-ego and resolves to kill the author who filled her head with such notions of romance – surprise, it’s Jane Austen!
I think the writers are well aware Mona is kinda annoying, she’s annoyed pretty much everyone on the Waverider (except Charlie) at this point, so I was shocked that Mona, not Sanjay, may have been the cause of Jane Austen’s premature demise – it would absolutely justify kicking her off the ship. Fortunately, it turns out that’s not the case, as Austen’s understanding of human nature and love soothes Mona like her books have for so many. Just one question: is Austen going to become a horror novelist after her encounter with Wolfie? Is she going to beat Mary Shelley to the punch by a decade? Hey Sara, maybe don’t use the memory eraser: I’d love to read Austen’s own take on Emma and the Werewolves.
4. Bride and Prejudice
I’ve never seen Aishwarya Rai’s spin on Jane Austen, but I wonder if it was in the back of one of the writers’ minds when they concocted this fabulous Bollywood/Austen fusion. I love musicals, and Legends is such a surreal show that it was well overdue (unless you’re counting Stein’s rendition of “Day-O,” in which case, no). I’ve seen Tala Ashe sing on Instagram, so I’m glad she got this showcase, but I also really enjoyed the spoken word interlude between Ray and Nora, and the revelation that Mona can sing. Was it a little Orientalist having a Persian actress in an Indian thing? Maybe, but that performance cleansed my skin, fixed my teeth and made me feel ten years younger, so I don’t mind.
Continued below5. Oh yes, the Séance
We don’t get to find out what happens to Sanjay after his deva dust is confiscated, or Sara finding out about Nora, as the last part of the episode completely focuses on Hank and Nate’s storyline. Constantine has Hank possess Mick to speak to him, and finds out about Neron’s involvement. Constantine used a nudie mag to distract Mick from what he was about to do, which wasn’t shown, but you could add it up afterwards and it was all the more funnier for it (man is this episode horny or what?)
But the most mindblowing part (and this is including the Bollywood number), was Nate stumbling on his dad’s secret room, where he discovers Hank planned to use the Fugitives to build a theme park: it’s like the show says, it’s “insane,” I mean, HeyWorld! It’s such a wholesome reveal I’m ecstatic (and angry) about it – like I know Hank wasn’t evil but I wasn’t expecting him to be the show’s version of John Hammond! It’s so ludicrous, I love it.
Bonus thoughts:
– Sara’s still flicking the cigarette from Constantine’s mouth, in what I can only assume is setting up a glorious subversion later this season.
– That whole story about Hank dressing up as Mickey Mouse when Nate was in hospital as a kid is a bit like finding out your dad was Santa, isn’t it?
– Yes, I know Charlie was making a euphemism for jerking off but Ray would probably be one to polish his bishop.
– This is probably the most sex-positive depiction of a Muslim woman on TV that I’ve ever seen, and I hope someone much more insightful than me will write that essay.
Alright, next week: eggplants and wardrobes huh? I guess the horniness isn’t stopping anytime soon.
