Whether you travel by bus or by shipping yourself in the mail- it’s time for some more Preacher y’all! Here we are once again, barreling through season three. Nice to have you with me. In a world where god is a dalmatian man and the messiah is an inbred idiot, it’s good to have a pal to share some laughs with. This season is shaping up to be a hell of a thing and I’m with ya ’til the end of the world dear reader. The end of the world. Let’s see what’s in store for us in season three, episode four, “The Tombs.” Last week was rough, but I’m sure nothing bad will happen this week.
1. The Hellovator
It’s been a while and some since we saw the fella known as the Saint of Killers, but he’s been lingering in Hell, reliving the worst moments of his life on Earth. As it happens, this episode is bookended by the Saint in Hell, and it is a welcome return to crazytown. A demon takes him down to the 9th floor of Hell, which is, there’s no other way for me to put this, pretty fucking metal. While the rest of Hell is made of grimy featureless corridors, Satan’s office is made of dragon skulls and spewing lava vents. Hell yeah. Pun intended.
Satan and his angel of death seem like goofy tools, but as a formality they need to whip the saint for a while. This lasts the entire episode, and effectively removes most of his outsides, exposing the back of a ribcage. Ew. Awesome. Gross. The long and short of it is that the Saint needs to track down two fugitives. Tune is soon to see his pursuit of Eugene “Arseface” Root and Adolf “Hitler” Hitler.
2. “Are you not entertained?”
I will confess, I’ve never cared much for the film Gladiator, but Jesse and Jody sure do love to quote it. This week mostly takes place in and around The Tombs, which we’ve been slowly introduced to over the last few episodes. Here’s how they work: if your soul gets taken by Gran’ma L’Angelle, you get a chance to battle the other prisoners of the damned. The winner gets a chance to fight Jody. If they win, they get their souls back presumably. But we don’t know, because obviously they never win.
Jesse has been rocking that top hat and hosting the Tombs battles since he was a teen, quoting his favorite Russel Crowe flick as is appropriate for deathmatches. This time hes’ gotten Cassidy imprisoned down there, but lucky for our least favorite Irish vampire, he puts up a mean fight. Jesse? Well, he’s just straight up mean, and he takes the opportunity to put the hurt on ‘ol Cass.
One notable thing is our brief look at Jody’s lighter. It is proudly emblazoned with the cable-TV-friendly slogan: FUCK COMMUNISM. Fans of the “Preacher” comic and “Y: The Last Man” may have an inkling of what that means for the future.
3. USPS don’t ship fluids
As anyone who has ever shipped a package knows, it’s important to follow the rules. It turns out, Jesse’s master plan is to chop Cass into bits and mail him back to the big easy. Cassidy insists that a skin suit is a better way to sneak. You know, ripping off a dude’s skin and sneaking out inside it. Jesse disagrees, and their continued animus leads to Cassidy escaping the post office, returning to the Tombs and, with a rendition of Danny Boy, challenging Jesse to a fight.
The Preacher wins again, and repeated shots of a Chekov’s bottle go nowhere. Jesse continues to be cruel to his friend.
4. “The worst person she ever loved”
Meanwhile, Tulip goes on a road trip with Madame Boyd, who is of course Jesse’s ex. After a badass escape that I think could be best described as “Looney Tunes but with uzis,” Tulip and Boyle find themselves in a car together. Boyd recounts tales from back in the day.
Jesse as it turns out, loves to hurt people in order to save them. First, he abruptly dumps Boyd in order to protect her, and then he murders her brother as collateral. It’s a bad look.
Continued below5. She got busy
Tulip doesn’t believe any of that. After Cassidy manages to escape using the excellent skin suit method, she sticks him on a bus out of town and goes back to Jesse. The Preacherman tells his side of the story, which looks a hell of a lot more like self defense, but which I maintain is still a pretty bad look. Tulip stays by Jesse’s side, hopefully resolving this love triangle for the near future. Tulip and Jesse, well, they get busy.
When she remember’s that she left Boyd in the trunk of her car, Tulip rushes out to make a pact with her. The only way out of this? She’s gotta kill Jesse’s Gran’ma. Finally. I mean, someone has to try.
I wish her the best of luck.
