Welcome back all you Riverdale fans! Chapter 37 kicks off with the revelation that I’ve been dreading since last week, a second direction that I’ve been dreading since last week, and some third thing I need to complete this sentence & narrative construction. All in all, we’ve got ourselves a decent second episode and the continuation of a LOT of different story threads. It’s gonna be a hell of a packed season y’all. Prepare yourselves adventurers, for there be spoilers ahead.
1. Diltons & Doileys
They did it. I can’t believe they killed Dilton. First, Jason Blossom (well, he never mattered all that much), then they killed Ms. Grundy. Then they killed Midge (poor Midge) and now Dilton! No wasted side character with minimal development is safe now! Yes, I know, Ms. Gruny wasn’t wasted nor was she given minimal development but she was a creepy character and felt really out of place and that’s saying something for this show. Still, I’ve been afraid Ethyl is going to die since season 1 — #justiceforbarb — but it seems like she’s been given some immunity. Although, she’s still a horribly underdeveloped and under-utilized character.
I hope this story gives us more time with her to, you know, learn about who she is and why she’s acting so weird. It’s nice that we know enough about her to have a baseline to judge against but putting the story more centered around her instead of Betty & Jug would make it a lot more powerful. Keep them there but dial up the paranoia on her part. Give us more time with Ethyl on her own or working with Jug and Betty. Develop your side characters Riverdale, that’s where you find the most interesting developments and deepen the world. Treat everyone like a diamond in the rough, just waiting to shine.
2. Satanic Panic
I love, love, LOVE how the satanic panic is the basis for the Dilton Doiley/The Farm narrative. You’ve got all the hallmarks of it. Knock-off D&D literally having fanatics believe it’s real and killing themselves/others? Check. The parents collectively worried about their children playing said game? Check. LITERAL COW SKULL HEADED DEMON IN THE WOODS?! Check-a-roony. All that’s missing is Batman yelling about how punk is nothing but death and crime and the rage of the beast and we’ll be all set.
Let’s also talk about what we find out about Doiley’s chalice of death. It was filled with a blue liquid, creepy and very on brand for Gryfins and Gargoyles, but that liquid was cyanide mixed with. . .Fresh-Ade. Yes, Fresh-Ade. To combine the action and the line spoken by Benjamin Button, they drank the Fresh-Ade to ascend to the kingdom. I know Riverdale isn’t subtle but come on, after jingle jangle being distributed by the candyman in pixie sticks, I didn’t think they’d try to present something so silly as utterly serious but here we are!
And the sad part about that statement is that I shouldn’t snark because of the real life horrors of the Jonestown massacre and the way they’re calling back to it. It’s this kind of nonsense that makes me simultaneously love this show for its earnestness while also shaking my head. I asked for dark and pulpy and, y’know, they’ve certainly delivered. I just didn’t expect it to be so bizzare.
3. Evernever Have I Ever
You know, when they introduced The Farm back in season 1, I didn’t expect it’d be the hub of a commune turned cult. It shouldn’t have been surprising considering EVERYTHING in this universe has a hidden, twisted surface. Now that they’ve tipped their hand on this, I’m hesitant to speculate on what it could all mean. I’m even more hesitant now that they’ve introduced Zoé De Grand Maison as Evelyn Evernever, creepy daughter to Edgar Evernerver.
For those who recognize her face but not her name, she played Gracie, a member of the prolethean farm cult in Orphan Black. Also, go watch Orphan Black it’s an amazingly crafted show and I’m very lucky to have gotten to name drop it twice in one week. Anyway, back to a less tightly crafted show, Eveyln is creepy as hell but the mystery surrounding her is tantalizing. We only know what we can guess and that’s not a lot other than she had something to do with the bonfire of the babies
Continued belowSpeaking of, what the HELL are they doing to Mrs. Cooper? They already made her character less compelling last season, why’re they turning her into a cultist too? Polly I get. Her character was never really established and she’s bounced from shady organization to shady organization. But Mrs. Cooper? Would she really gaslight her own daughter like this? Also, god DAMMIT they went through with the gaslighting. Thankfully the focus wasn’t on Betty insisting she “knows what she saw” and all that. I still do hope there’s something supernatural going on (I think there is) otherwise this is going down as a piece of the plot I hate the most.
Back to Eveyln, we can deduce one more thing, besides the Farm being intrinsically linked to the bloody Gargoyle King instead of a second, unrelated plot, and that’s that she had something to do with Betty’s seizure. She’s in the room when Ethyl has a seizure and it’s right after Ethyl was worried she’d be hurt for speaking. Her arm shooting up was eerie too. Like it was the work of an enemy standing right behind her.
4. Veronica Lodge and the Riverdale Redemption
While I do wish we were leaning closer to “The Green Mile” for this one, it’s apparent we’re leaning more towards Shawshank for Archie’s prison stint. The biggest parallel between the two is the way the warden treats Mad Dog and now Archie. In the story, the warden is keeping Andy Dufrense, despite his innocence, in prison because he is useful to him. Same here. He gets special treatment while still being at his mercy in a cruel system that dehumanizes anyone who goes in. Couple this with the “The Body”/Stand by Me reference last week (the leeches) and I wonder what other King tropes/stories will be reference or used with Archie.
If they want to use all four novellas from “Different Seasons,” the one I think they’ll have the hardest with is “Apt Pupil,” although, you never know. For those who don’t know the story, or the movie based on it, track it down. It’s a horrifying story because of how true to life can be.
As for the rest of this plot so far, it seems like Archie’s gonna be stuck in jail for a while now, which alleviates my worries about that plotline. But really? Football to unite everyone and then cheerleaders from the high school? I have to remind myself that these are teenage characters. JUNIORS, even. Much of this episode’s treatment of the Archie storyline produces a cognitive dissonance in my brain so large that I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity. I’m even having a hard time putting into words WHY the cheerleading and the hyper corruption of the guards in this Juvenile Detention Center(!) and the constant back and forth with Veronica has me laughing. But it is and I wonder if that makes me the fool.
5. It’s the Small Things in Life
Just like last week, there were a lot of smaller, more incidental plots and developments that occurred throughout the episode: the brief but pointless Cheryl/Veronica beef over who would be interim student body president with Archie in jail, Moose and Kevin’s tension and the RROTC, Hiram being Hiram, Veronica losing some of the depth she had because Hiram is a story sucking hole that consumes every plot thread around him, Hermione Lodge taking charge at the meeting of the concerned parents who having nothing to hide, nope, not a thing. Nuh uh. No secret murder cults from our past here. Honestly, the amount of secrets this town has, it’s a wonder they have any trust left at all.
Of all of these, aside from the genuinely intriguing teaser for the Gargoyle King thread, Kevin’s is the most interesting and the one I hope we get regular check ins on. It seems like they realized he was wasted last season and are trying to rectify that while also giving Moose his own arc. Good on them. Now just bring back Toni and make Cheryl a more active player and I’ll be a much happier person. It seems like they’re trying to work in more of the side characters but aren’t sure how yet. It’s only two episodes in so this is forgivable. I just hope they don’t wave their hand and make all the good work disappear.
Continued belowThat about does it for now! Riverdale given us a lot to think about this week and I didn’t even talk about how Benjamin Button is named Benjamin button, there was a jumpscare scout in a doomsday bunker, and creepy cow skull blood dude too much. A shame. Regardless, I’ll see you all next week for more of Archie: Megalobox Edition and Jughead wanders in the woods. Let me know what y’all think in the comments!
Creepiest Line of the Night:
Benjamin Button: “Soon. You’ll fly too.”
