Welcome back all you Riverdale fans! Chic ain’t here and thus this episode is a masterpiece. 11/10, would watch again. There’s nothing you can say that will change my mind.
Hmm? What’s that? A character potentially lied about being in an abusive, sexual relationship with her teacher? . . .Well shit.
And as always, spoilers ahead.
1. Thin Ice
I’m. . .conflicted about the way Donna’s arc plays out in “The Ice Storm.” On the one hand, it’s a perfect encapsulation of the sickening things people with high levels of power and esteem and privilege will do to ensure they keep things the way they are, and within the fiction of the show tracks. On the other, the choice to hinge the lie on a very touchy and topical topic is. . .unfortunate.
We, as a society, have been quite terrible at challenging entrenched notions of what is, and is not, acceptable when it comes to sex. Men, men in power especially, are taught to believe that with power comes sex and it is their right and when an obstacle is placed between them and it, they are to take it — consent optional. That is bad — no ifs, ands or buts. This is changing, with each new challenge to these unspoken rules, but rather slowly and the question still remains as to how we deal with those who took, and take, advantage of these norms and the culture of silence that makes it nigh impossible to provide ““““proof.””””
All this is to say: Riverdale has put us in a bit of a moral bind as the text of the show indicates that Donna, at least in some small part, is lying. We have seen, time and again, that she, along with Brett and the others, care little for the people who don’t share their station and who might rock the boat. She seems to take pleasure in threatening people with violence (axe rabbits) and torturing them (locking people in a coffin.) Her pure stoney face right before, coincidentally breaking into tears, and Brett’s later, very well rehearsed summary Chipping’s death, as if it were the end of a detective novel, all indicates that this was constructed.
. . .And yet, we must believe her. We must, for if we do not, we consign others’ experiences to the realms of suspicion and hearsay and we’re right back where we started, with silence supporting the powerful. This is compounded by media’s penchant for using this exact plot, “the false rape accusation,” despite its low frequency in reality and while I disagree with Marshal McCluhan’s Producer –> Consumer dynamic of media, repeat something enough times and it inserts doubt into societal conciousness.
I don’t have an easy answer here. My gut says that they did not think this decision through enough but I also believe that this is exactly what the character would do aftering having had plan A (the fake suicide note + the tie pie) fall apart and having been confronted by Betty & Jug. Riverdale has built up a healthy distrust of these characters and shown them to be cold, calculating and duplicitous. But whether this was the right approach? I’m not sure.
2. The Iceman C. . .Nope, Not Going There
OK. That got real heavy. Sorry y’all. Instead, let’s talk consentual sex for a sec and the hilarity of it. . .the sex part. Three of our couples this week — Jug & Betty, FP and Alice, and Toni & Cheryl — get hot and heavy this week as the weather outside their doors gets SUPER fucking frosty. We see none of it, thankfully (TEENAGE CHARACTERS, REMEMBER?) It’s all implied and used more to set up the fact that these characters are filled with the horn. But the music cues and the framing and set up of each scene are just. . .so ridiculous. Sometimes it’s intentionally funny (FP & Alice with the shoes,) other times it’s unintentional. Betty’s arrival at Stonewall Prep is preceded by “sexy music” and I just burst out laughing. The same for the horror movie cut to Julian’s doll watching Toni & Cheryl. It’s just. . .so odd and incongruous.
Actually, now that I think about it, all three couples also had someone creepily watching them. The camera in Jug’s room, which is presumably Brett’s and will be used for. . .blackmail, I think. Then there’s the aforementioned Julian. And then there’s Charles who is presumably still wiretapping and/or VHS taping the Cooper household. Weird.
Continued below3. Ice the Wound
Fred Andrews’ loss is still being felt in the Andrews household. He has not been forgotten and his death continues to be important to the forward momentum of the characters. I appreciate that. It would’ve been easy to kinda sweep it under the rug and have it be done entirely within “In Memoriam”. But then we wouldn’t have gotten an exploding deep fryer with a turkey inside saving Arch from being shot by Dodger’s mom and that’s that silliness we come here to Riverdale for.
Speaking of, what did you all think of Artful’s mother? I thought she was, to put it mildly, out of place. Her whole deal is: I think you fucked up my boy, so I’m going to kill you, eat all the food prepared for these kids, and force you to confess by threatening to kill you if you do so I can kill you. I get what they were going for, and I do think the grieving gang parent who wants revenge was handled pretty consistently, but she just pissed me off. I kept waiting for someone to deck her and her lackeys in the face.
Like, seriously? Did we need this stock baddie to make drama at the center? She hadn’t even heard of this place before! If there was more there, I think I would’ve been more on board.
4. The Ice House
I was expecting more gothic bulllshit from Cheryl! But noooo. We had to cut between the fifty-million plots going on and this got reduced to, what, a C-plot? D? Either way, it was, much like last time, a bit of a waste. That doesn’t mean it did have some wonderful speechifying from Nana Rose or lovely mugging from cousin Fenwick(?), it just didn’t have near enough. Couple that with Cheryl’s way too eager attitude and piss poor acting (not the actress herself but the character trying to feign ignorance,) and you can see why I found the Thorn Hill thread lacking. Give me more of those heavy shadows! More spooky paintings! Light these scenes and shoot them with more panache and drama! We spend 90% of our Cheryl/Toni time here anyway. really play up the gothic undertones or go full Shirley Jackson on us already.
Well, at least we got the good old “trick someone into thinking they’re eating people” gag. That was fun to watch.
5. A Serpent in the Icebox
Mark Consuelos is the perfect Hiram Lodge and it’s such a shame that I hate the continued presence of the character. Each time he opens his mouth to speak, I want to simultaneously throw things at his smarmy head and then marvel at how smooth he is. It’s a hard balance to strike but Consuelos has found it while poor Marisol Nichols’ Hermione continues to be wasted. Skeet Ulrich as FP also fits this bill, although I absolutely adore the arc he’s gone on these last four seasons. . .which makes his dilemma in “The Ice Storm” such a great bit of character drama.
He’s conflicted about his position as Sheriff while remaining a rebel at heart, being once again beholden to the corrupt and petty Hiram Lodge, and, if I’m reading it right, his new life with Alice and being, well, comfortable. He’s never been comfortable before and that comes out in his “I’m a serpent” comment. He feels as if he has forgotten his roots and been sucked into a different world, one with rules he does not agree with and morals that don’t align with his own. It wasn’t much yet but I think it’s going to be a good storyline going forward.
Now if only we could full reckon with Alice’s behavior last season on screen so that the show could move past it without it feeling like it was swept under the rug.
That about does it for now! What did you all think of this bottle episode that failed to be bottled up anywhere? Did you find it tense? Funny? Uncomfortable? Let me know in the comments and I’ll see you all again in two weeks, post-Turkey day here in the states, for what looks to be the emotional reckoning episode. Until then, don’t trust the skull and bones. They take and take until all that remains is a soulless husk, while they remain vital.
Best Line of the Night:
Betty: “Conspiracies and a murder mystery to solve. Sounds like a romantic weekend.”
