Previously on Riverdale: A murder rocks a small town and the the threads tying everyone together begin to unravel amongst a sea of secrets, criminality, ebophillia, incest undertones and talents shows; all the things synonymous with this wholesome franchise. After a two week break, we return. Was it worth the wait? Let’s see.
1. Baby Shower Royal Rumble
Imagine being in either the Cooper or Blossom family.
No, seriously, take a minute to really think about it. Two Middle America whitebread families with that incredibly flimsy veneer of wholesomeness but underneath it is sneering fucking contempt that think their history makes them important when it really doesn’t. Basically, it’s your standard rich Republican family (oh, come on, you know the Blossoms at the very least voted Trump). So it doesn’t come to be such a surprise that the baby shower for Polly’s baby is super awkward as Mama Cooper and Mama Blossom once again come to barbed word blows. But it’s not the only one of these parents that do some sneaky things. More on that below.
2. Hiram is Coming
Like, there is no way he isn’t coming, right? He’s been a shadow over a couple of storylines now and he’s even starting to intrude upon the Blossoms (and subsequently the Andrews after the Blossom’s pinch Fred’s construction crew). I can appreciate the amount of restraint that the writers have put with him, so when he actually does make a move it feels a bit more impactful. Now I’m just hoping the casting of Hiram is up to snuff.
3. Archie, No
Archie you can be the worst at times. The plot thread of the troubles with the Andrews construction isn’t the most… compelling but it has started to pick up speed and is beginning to connect with bigger plotlines but Archie you can just be so….Archie. Everything is just about you, even if everything else around you is more interesting. For Example, in this episode Archie finds out Jughead’s dad is still in the Southside Serpent’s gang and goes to confront Juggie…crashing Polly’s babyshower to do it and making a pretty big scene. It’s really jarring and really just made me dislike Archie a bit more.
4. Papa Cooper’s Not That Great Either
Up until this point, Mr. Cooper has seemed to have been the more rational foil to Mrs. Cooper. Yeah, he had a hatred for the Blossom’s but it was tempered by generally caring about his family on a less insane level. Here though… well… not so much anymore. He tries to force Polly to get an abortion and Mama Cooper finds out about this and his motive and how he exposits it shatters the sympathy you have for him. This is also tying in with Mama Cooper seemingly making a Heel Turn as she kicks him out of the house. I say “seemingly” because she’s still going to have to do a bit more before I can safely that.
5. This Was Okay
Maybe it’s just because I thought “In A Lonely Place” was really good, but this episode felt lukewarm. Some plotlines moving forward, but nothing felt very impactful, if that makes sense. Sure, we had that last bit with Papa Cooper, but nothing felt very striking. Not bad, but not great. The preview for next week’s episode though looks like we’ll be getting back to the good old “Really, Riverdale?” that we all know and… hmm… love? Yeah, sure.
