Don’t worry, everyone. This episode ends on quite the happy note. Honest. Would I lie to you? Let’s find out!
1. Everyone Has a Creepy Wig Room, Right?
What else do you want me to say about this? The Blossoms have a Creepy Red Head Wig Room in their house. Like, you know it’s mad weird. I know it’s mad weird. I mean, could you imagine, a wealthy, WASP-y dude hiding his white hair and trying to overcompensate, whether it’s a legion of interchangeable red wigs that is filmed in the most creepy way, or just a really really bad toupe that every person on the planet can see through. Just own your aging, Mr. Blossom… and that other guy in one of most powerful positions on the planet.
2. Hey Archie
Now, while the beginning scenes with Archie were the standard fare, i.e. Archie really having a lack of perspective and more worried about the time he spent with Veronica than the actual murders and shit going on, I am glad he wised up a bit when he started putting pieces together and he and Veronica begin investigating F.P. and whether or not F.P. worked with Hiram Lodge. It does interweave the possible relationship building between Archie and Ronnie, but just as much because Archie doesn’t want to see Jughead get hurt after starting to rebuild his relationship with his dad and Ronnie needing to know if her father is a criminal scumbag. It’s a good moment.
3. The Wheel of Cheryl Blossom’s Personality
Look, I don’t even know anymore. Suffice to say, if this seasons doesn’t end with Cheryl crashing or firmly turning on her parents, then I’m calling a big ol’ “bullshit” on this. She flip flops between vindictive with wanting to be prom queen to all caring about people and back again at the drop of a hat. I still can’t determine if this is Cheryl being one of the most complicated characters or if it’s just hackneyed writing. I mean, this show’s not high art, but there is such a thing as character arc. Just wish Cheryl would’ve had one, regardless of its direction.
4. Oh Jughead
Yeah. That would be a way for your entire life pulled out from under you. Finding out your best friend worked with your girlfriend’s mother to investigate your dad and see if he’s a murderer. Only to find out your girlfriend may have known about it. And then your dad has been arrested for murder. Yeah, I don’t think this was how you expected homecoming to go, huh? Each of the four actors got to really show some of their best moments as all the tensions come to the surface. Is it trite? Is it overdramatic? Probably. I’m okay with that.
5. This Will Be a Long Week
So: F.P.’s in jail. He’s probably being framed. The ties between the main four are more frayed than ever before. Archie’s mom wants him to leave Riverdale with her. We’re getting closer and closer to finding out who murdered Jason Blossom and the shadow of Hiram Lodge looms ever more. Personally, I hope this next two episodes are pure insanity. Like, maybe Hiram committed the murder himself, despite being in jail. Let it be a huge “It’s me, Austin. It was me all along, Austin” moment. I’m all for it at this point. At this point, this isn’t an “Archie” adaptation (outside of Archiekins himself, when being an oblivious tit more concerned with his own problems makes him one of the most accurate adaptations of all time), it’s just CW wanted to do Twin Peaks and just used the names and such from the comic. So go all out for the finale, please. Let’s get crazy. Let’s get nuts.
Also: Archie and Ronnie played “Kids in America” at the Homecoming dance, interspersed with F.P. getting arrested. A classic tune that I’m sure many of the kids in the year 2017 listen to often, am I right my fellow late 20-somethings?
