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Five Thoughts on The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina‘s “Chapter Seventeen: The Missionaries”

By | May 20th, 2019
Posted in Television | % Comments

Welcome one and all to Multiversity’s very own ‘Witching Hour,’ in which we take a look at Netflix’s The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. Join me every Monday for your weekly recap. In last week’s explosive episode, Ambrose nearly executed Father Blackwood, and Zelda got the dark wedding she wanted. Now we see some of the fallout as well as some new kids in town with a mission from God. Things are about to get wild.

1. The Prisoner

After Ambrose’s failed assaination, he is thrown into the Witch’s Cell, that hellhole that Sabrina was hazed into back in “Witch Academy.” There the Weird Sisters torment Ambrose. Even after both Sabrina and Hilda plead to see him, the Weird Sister’s show that they truly are ruthless, and Prudence definitley makes a point when she tells Sabrina that they’re so called “friendship” was only present when Sabrina needed her help. Sabrina tries to argue her case telling Prudence that she saved her life only to have Prudence tell Sabrina it was solely for her own benefit. Does anyone else almost want to side with Prudence here? She makes some valid points. Sabrina really isn’t a “friend,” despite her good intentions. She usually makes things worse for her friends and seeing Prudence call her out for it is sort of refreshing. Either that, or with her proper name bestowed upon her, Prudence Blackwood has an even commandeering voice.

When Hilda attempts to visit Ambrose she brings a chicken. Prudence, doesn’t let Hilda in at first but Hilda convinces her by suggesting a different way to torture her nephew. Eat the chicken and leave him the bones. So Prudence lets Hilda in simply to mess with her and Ambrose. She sees Ambrose and he tells her he will confess. Likewise, Ambrose sees Hilda and she begs him to confess. After some trick questions both Spellmans realize they’re being played. Dorkus and Agatha both glamoured themselves in an attempt to make Ambrose admit to crimes he unwillingly committed. Luckily, Prudence listened to Hilda, ate the chicken and left the bones, cause good ol’ Ambrose makes a skeleton key just as the Weird Sisters almost break him. Ambrose escapes, but quickly runs into more trouble.

2. The Order of the Innocents

Okay. This is a plot point that’s been teased since the very first episode but never came to fruition. I should point out that this episode begins with a “Three Weeks Earlier” scene and features Ambrose’s fallen love, Luke. We get a glimpse at how he dies. It turns out Luke was killed by a sect of witch hunters known as The Order of the Innocents. Their leader, Jerathmiel tortures Luke and talks about his salvation. Salvation that will only come when Luke betrays his coven and gives him a list of names. Sadly, Luke doesn’t take torture well and not only loses his life but his hand.

Witch hunters have something I’ve been itching to see since the show first mentioned them. Hell I even thought Luke was a witch hunter before his romance with Ambrose. I had questions and theories, especially about Harvey and his lineage. The Kinkles were witch hunters after all, so I thought they would be introduced through him. This kind of came out of left field. This show tends to drop things on its viewers abruptly, in the midst of other plot threads. I don’t hate how it’s done, but maybe that’s why I was taken out of the show during “Chapter Fifteen.” Not having something happen in that episode felt stagnet. This addition complicates the plot while we’re already in the middle of another. Poor Greendale never catches a break. And what’s great is it’s not over the top or overwhelming. I feel it’s nicely balanced.

With that said, lets get into it a bit. We are shown three witch hunters, Jerathmiel, I mentioned earlier is played by Spencer Treat Clark of Unbreakable, Mehitable and Gideon. Jerathmiel is a fucking whack job. Clark portrays master of the sinister withhis “holier than thou” approach to “saving” the witches and warlocks.

3. Back at Baxter…Again

Man, part of me wishes that the Dark Lord just let Sabrina go through with burning Baxter High to ground, cause if we’re talking about stagnant things, this is one of the worst parts of the show. Sure it’s great that Sabrina has mortal friends, and I totally understand that the whole point of the show and our heroine is the delicate balance and fine line she must walk to be part of both worlds. I still hate all the subplots around it. The mortals are the least interesting thing in this show, and rightly so. I mean, maybe with some witch hunters the show can go in new directions. I like Harvey, Roz and Theo. I think they’re a great ensemble that serves to remind the audience of Sabrina’s mortality, but I wish they were given more to do. Yes, Roz can use her precognition. Harvey can “go to the rescue” with his rifle, but the way these characters turn their back on their friend and let her back into their lives time and time again is very tedious at this point. Roz’s accusation that Sabrina caused her blindness is just absurd. Let’s move on so she can actually do some cool shit with these powers. Theo continues to be the heart of this trio and sticks his neck out for his friend. Props to Theo.

Continued below

4. Roast Adam

Ms. Wardwell has been on the backburner lately. Like the rest of Baxter High she remains stagnant. Even though her new beau Adam is around, her subplot isn’t as captivating. I think its safe to say that the Dark Lord would agree. Wardwell decides to play hooky this episode with Adam, as she has given so much of her attention to that “girl…school,” and hasn’t been properly rewarded for service. She plans to escape the Dark Lord’s influence and at dinner, the Dark Lord glamours himself as Adam until she realizes she’s eating the real Adam. She’s horrified, and most interestingly, heartbroken.

We see Lilith breakdown in her bathroom, pondering how the Dark Lord found her out. Turns out, ever since the Dark Lord brought Stolas back to life, the familiar had been keeping tabs on the mother of demons. Stolas feels her wrath once again, as Wardwell lets out a scream and Stolas completely dissolves into ash.

5. The Dark Lord’s Sword

To bring this review full circle, after Ambrose escapes he runs into the Order of the Innocents, they stab him and take the other witches and warlocks hostage in the Church of Night. They reveal that they are no ordinary witch hunters, no they’re angels, or angelic. Either way, a huge bomb is dropped. Not only do witches, warlocks, demons, and hunters exist, but the show has brought in some of the holiest creatures in existence.

The church is now concecrated and no witch kind can enter, ya know except for Sabrina who is of both worlds, and was baptized in the Catholic church. Sabrina goes in there all gung ho like usual, and gets three crossbow bolts to the chest. The angelic hunters continue to kill two members of the coven and then things start to happen.

Sabrina is seen levitating, her eyes all white and has some incredible new power. She frightens the shit out of the “angels” forces them to say Lucifer’s prayer and quickly dispatches of them. She then ressurects her fellow classmates. She claims to be the Dark Lord’s sword. The episode ends with Harvey walking in seeing a seriously spooky Sabrina.

With three episodes left, this feels like a huge turning point in the series. Sabrina is ostensibly immortal right? She just set two angels ablaze with hellfire like she was just barbecuing. So with this much power, what will Sabrina do with it? Maybe I was wrong, maybe her friends should get the hell outta dodge. We’ll see next time.


//TAGS | Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Matt Garza

Matt was born and raised on the south side of Chicago, but is really a Cubs fan. When he's not reading comics , he's most likely sleeping next to his dog. He does not breathe actual fire. Despite several warnings, he will never stop giving the children in his family superhero clothing. You can find him on Twitter here.

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