We have amassed a crew, and it’s time to break into Republic space. Without blowing things up. Can it be done? Of course not. If it could, we wouldn’t have a show to watch. Vagrant Queen episode four has our heroes on a branching scheme to slip past Republic Space border patrol. Funny how even in space, governments are keen to build a wall to keep people out of places. How do you even put a wall up in space? Just fly straight up; at some point, that wall will end, and you can go over it. I digress. We are on a quest to save Elida’s mother and help the resistance take on the Admiralty in the process. Things are finally kicking off my friends. Minor spoilers ahead.
1. No plan survives the first contact.
Of all the films and shows we have seen, the one thing we know for sure is a plan never survives its first contact with the opposition. The scene of everyone huddled together discussing their plan to slip past a space border checkpoint is adorably nieve. Not that it is unnecessary. The odds of them pulling this off, while slim, do exist. But we are all aware of Murphy’s Law. Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and boy howdy does it. They didn’t have a terrible plan, if a bit convoluted. Also, Elida’s pesky “No Friend Left Behind” edict will trash any plan immediately.
2. Lazaro is the embodiment of privilege and mediocrity
My continued disdain for Commander Lazaro is starting to manifest itself physically. Many times during this episode, I found myself in the “What?” Jackie Chan meme pose. Lazaro is the physical embodiment of privilege. What an incompetent boob who keeps getting chances to continue being mediocre. Everyone on his ship seems exhausted being around such middle of the road leadership. His second in command (the fella with the funnier hair) is in a perpetual state of drowsy compliance.
I can only assume it is because he is aware nothing will ever get done correctly. Lazaro had Issac in his grasp, and instead of taking him to his ship for further interrogation or anything else, he leaves Issac alone, allowing Elida and Hath to rescue him. Then he gets gunked to the floor so he can’t participate in the battle with Elida. What a flipping loser. If I can’t respect the villain of the story as a competent threat, all drama goes out the window. The only thing standing in Elida and her posse’s way is themselves. That is a pretty massive hurdle for them, but Lazaro is just the worst kind of boring loser villain. One with an unearned, inflated sense of self-worth. Bah. BAH, I say!
3. Communication is so easy between intergalactic species.
Did anyone notice everyone communicates with no issues in space? Earthling Issac can chat with a space Kraken like Clive with 0 problems. What a great future where everyone can understand each other. There are some corner stores I go into where we need to place charades to order breakfast. Is there a translation device in play? I would love to see that explained at some point. The universal language is in play, I suppose. It makes for a more uncomplicated show to understand, but my hard sci-fi brain can’t reconcile the enormous leap in logic.
4. Goodbye Ihred?
I like Ihred. Her expressions and quirky dialogue added some much-needed levity to the proceedings. You can’t find a more devoted follower unless you are playing Fallout 4. If this is her last hurrah, I’m glad she got to go out like a real bad-ass. Donning some power armor and rescuing the incompetent crew. Her badassery was short-lived but well worth seeing. There goes Elida’s “no one left behind” rule, eh?
5. I wish this show took it a step further
I wish this show had a visual hook that made it more distinct. Right now, I find myself enjoying the establishing shots this show presents, as well as the costumes on display, but it all ends up feeling like it lacks a hard theme. I find myself wishing they would take the entire show’s visual system a step further. Perhaps emulating shows like Buck Rogers in the 25th Century, the original Star Trek, or the Stange Adventures comics. Just go full camp. Add some film grain, make the costumes even more retro and give calls back to a time where there wouldn’t be a gay black woman leading a show. Throw it in the 1950’s non-progressive faces. It would give the show an extra level of watchability for me. But that’s me, and I’m hard to please.
The wrap-up
We are two crew members down, but in Republic space. The plot marches on without our favorite blue lady. We also get to crash land on a new planet. They need a new ship. It was endearing when I saw Serenity falling apart in its titular show, but Elida (and Issac’s) ship feels unequipped for this mission. Kind of like the crew. I guess it all works out. They are all made for each other. Strap in, and I will check you next week for another episode of Vagrant Queen.
