Oh boy. Issac is in for it now. In the last episode, he betrayed everyone and got a bunch of folks killed. He’s definitely in for it. Elida does not suffer fools, so she’s bound to string him up or strand him or something wild. Consequences and justice are what I say.
Or, you know, the exact opposite. It’s episode six of Vagrant Queen, and the crew is ready to leave this planet behind. But they have to fix their old, reliable ship first. And they certainly have to deal with all these emotions welling up inside. Oh, and bug people are now on this planet, and they really want stuff. What stuff? It’s unclear. It could be flesh. Possibly machine parts. But definitely not light. Light is no Bueno. Even though I am pretty sure they were out in the daytime. Minor spoilers ahead Per usual fellow kings and queens.
1. Some people never learn.
I have a problem with giving dishonorable people second chances. That’s a pretty broad term. You can apply it to anything, depending on how you feel. Elida has to think Issac is not worth the continued effort. Given the duo’s implied history, and the fact that Issac actively betrayed her. His most recent double-cross lead to the deaths of a bunch of ancillary characters. I can see why at the end of the last episode, Elida said they were expertly done. Now, here we are and they are all still together, just with a bit more sauce in the attitude stew. I don’t know about you, but I am not giving a ride to anyone who sold me down the river. Shoot him in the leg, take off in your ship and leave him to double-cross his way back to earth alone. But nope. So now we have to deal with all the melodrama. The numerous crying scenes, and the proclamation of “Issac 2.0”. Spare me, dude.
2. The ship is terrible and needs to be ditched.
It feels like every other episode, the ship breaks down, allowing for a variety of wacky adventures for our crew. At what point do you trade that heap of electric trash in and buy a couple of sweet go-karts? It’s a good thing Elida picked up that bubbly mechanic before she headed out on her journey, or she and Issac would be royally boned. Every other scene, Amae is duct taping the starship back together. After every episode, I wonder where they will crash land next. What crazy planet will they have to rush off of next? Wait, someone stole that damn shit. Good.
3. I saw that in Gladiator.
I just want to call out the scene of Issac dragging Elida across the desert while she was tripping balls. At one point, the camera locks above Elida, and we see her stationary while the desert sands slide below her. That is a direct “homage” to Gladiator, staring much thinner Russel Crowe, and a slightly less Joker Joaquin Phoenix. I only point that out to increase the tally of other, better pieces of art this show continues to rip off. That was harsh, but also true. Keep ripping, I suppose. It did bring me a fleeting bit of joy when I saw it. Then I remembered I wasn’t watching Gladiator and promptly returned to my blase mood.
4, Why do villains always kill the soldier who answers their questions?
This is a strange trope I have yet to wrap my mind around. Why do these over-the-top villains like Lazaro always kill the soldiers who simply answer the questions they were asked? What a drastic waste of resources. I get they want to come off as crazy or lacking any sort of attachment to their servants. But why ask the question if you can’t handle the answer? Even Darth Vader let that Imperial officer go, and he was being a real poop to the Sith Lord. All Lazaro’s soldier did was give him some information he didn’t like. Did he deserve to go over the balcony? I say nay. But I am a caring guy.
5. That mom scene was a bag of bad, am I right?
Continued below
I coasted through this episode, clocking silly bug people, bad melodrama, and a strange new level of apathy that emerged toward Lazaro and his constant mugging for the camera. Ham it up, sir. Then the end rolled around, and we are treated to one of the most unsettling scenes I may have ever seen in a TV show. Horrible spoilers ahead. We witness Elida hallucinate her mother, then we watch as a laser bolt slowly makes its way toward the mom hallucination, while Elida fleetingly tries to interrupt its path. Then, it enters her head while she speaks and never reacts. What’s next, you ask? Well, a gaping hole in her head appears while she talks to Elida. I didn’t need that in my life. Even now it bothers me. I suppose that was the point. I won’t say it went too far, but it sure as hell wasn’t something I was prepared for.
The wrap-up
The fallout from last week’s pretty-darn-good episode is lackluster at best. This was definitely more of a Lazaro episode as he paraded his newfound powers and supported the Admiralty around like, well puppets. After a lot of stumbling through the desert and Issac straight up not fighting back when the bug people kidnapped him, we watch a ghost’s head get blown off, and Amae, once again, survives a dangerous encounter solely with her aw-shucks attitude. Side note, if that Winniebot could cut an arm off with its personal laser, why didn’t it just cut the damn bug person’s head off? This all from a bot who likes to point on logistics to the crew. Ugh. Let’s see how long we can drag this internal conflict out before everyone loves each other again. Three episodes? I’d wager three. See you next week in a galaxy. Not yours.
