With Villain’s Month in full swing, now is a horrible time to be a hero in the DC Universe. Everything is all bad news this, bad guys that. Nobody is happy because there’s just all this miserable stuff going on. Poor heroes.
And the Justice League? They’re nowhere to be found, locked up in some jail or something somewhere. I don’t even know. They’re just off somewhere being miserable together.
So today for this week’s Countdown, we’re going to do something a little different. Today, we’re going to go inside the DC Universe and look at the Top 5 things that the Crime Syndicate has done to the Justice League in order to make them so miserable, thanks to the wonderful art of Kristin Boucher. (For more art from Kristin, check out her DeviantArt and Tumblr.)
Don’t you just hate it when that happens? The Justice League is a pretty healthy organization so they’re prone to eat right, and keep a lot of Chobani in the communal fridge. However, since the purchase of the Chobani doesn’t come out of the League budget, everyone in the League individually marks their yogurt so they know what’s theirs.
And the Crime Syndicate, those jerks, they just came right up into the Justice League’s business and took the yogurt without even asking! It’s clearly labeled! Come on, man. And I bet they’re not even going to do the right thing and replace the yogurt either. Ugh. Such jerks.
The Justice League spends a lot of time out in the world protecting us, putting our needs over their own. It stinks in terms of having a social life or being able to watch new release films or TV shows when they air, but it is the sacrifice you make when you are a hero. As awesome as it is, Breaking Bad has to wait if Starro is destroying a major city.
Crime Syndicate? They don’t care. They’ve got plenty of time to hang out and watch all the films and TV in the world. And since they’re big jerks, they’ve gone ahead and told the Justice League all about episode 9 of season 3 of Game of Thrones! Dude, that’s so not cool! I have it on good authority that the Crime Syndicate has also actually forced the Justice League to watch the stinger scene from the Avengers on YouTube without seeing the rest of the movie. Not cool.
The Crime Snydicate has a lot of opinions on a lot of people. They’re villains, after all, and they hate most people. As such, to keep track of their hatred, the Crime Syndicate keeps all of their aggressive thoughts in a Burn Book that they’ve compiled together when not out unmasking heroes on national television.
But the Justice League was getting too popular, pitting Crime Syndicate’s friends against the Crime Syndicate and getting them caught in the act of various trouble making scenarios, so the Crime Syndicate totally released their Burn Book and pinned it on the Justice League.
I mean, just how evil do you have to be to do a thing like that? That is so nefarious. Now everyone is going to think the Justice League is made up of jerks, but they only wrote one thing that one time, and they didn’t even really mean it they were just trying to fit in! Oh, what a mess.
The Justice League is big on social media, because they have to be. I mean, being heroes is one thing, but you have to let your presence be known out there in the world. Otherwise how will you stay connected to your fanbase or find new people to interact with?
The Crime Syndicate is pretty big on social media too, but they use it totally inappropriately. All day long they just passively aggressively leave remarks about the Justice League on Twitter, stuff like “On my world, the S stands for SUCKS!” and “At least some of us are able to make the decision whether we’ll wear pants or not.” It’s just so rude and unnecessary, and they know the Justice League will see it. They’ll claim they aren’t looking for confrontation and that they’re talking about some other thing that you wouldn’t know about anyway, but we all know what they’re doing.
Continued belowSome of you may think this is the worst thing that the Crime Syndicate has done to the Justice League because of how annoying it is. But you’d be wrong. Because the real worst thing that the Crime Syndicate has done to the Justice League is …
Remember in “Forever Evil” #1 where all those villains are hanging out with the Crime Syndicate? Man. What a fun party that must have been for everyone.
You know who wasn’t there? The Justice League. The Justice League knew about the party because the Crime Syndicate told them, but did the good guys get an invite? No. And then the Crime Syndicate went ahead and broadcast their whole party to the whole world!
Man. So evil. Like, forever evil.
