This past weekend, in the process of getting my trades and graphic novels set up in their new home, I decided to brush off an old favorite: Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. This chestnut didn’t garner a huge audience when it was initially released but is now a favorite amongst discerning comic fans.
Why? Well, this is the perfect blend of the madcap lunacy of Warren Ellis at his finest and Stuart Immonen creating big, awesome and hilarious visuals as well as a touch of his style chameleon self. It’s one of my all-time favorite comics and what I described as something I like to read when I’m in a bad mood because it drives me to smile no matter what.
Now, by far the most difficult part of this endeavor is picking just ten moments. I started off with 23 and managed to pare it down to just 10. Check out my favorites below, and if you’re a Nextwave fan, pitch in your faves in the comments.
10. The Mindless Ones dance down the street
The Mindless Ones – as the gents over at Mindless Ones know – are pretty much amazing. Brainless creatures designed for destruction, they end up helping temporarily take over a town, while also skateboarding, taking over as wait staff and, most importantly, West Side Story dance down the street. They entertain me endlessly, but “Dance, critters?” Hell yes.
9. Devil Dinosaur shares his Moon Boy shame
Without saying much about this to avoid spoilers for those who have (somehow!) not read this, but Devil Dinosaur’s rage over Moon Boy in this book? Pure comedic genius. Especially because those two are inherently hilarious.
8. Tabby brings the explodo
Tabby Smith is a character who long didn’t really have much of an identity besides as Sam Guthrie’s girlfriend, but in Nextwave, she was a brainless, kleptomaniac fashionista who also was wildly effective in combat and with her powers. Basically, she was like the apex version of herself previously, with each of her characteristics underlined 47 times by Ellis. The issue where Forbush Man – maybe the most ridiculous Marvel character ever – takes out the team by owning their brains? Priceless. The way he’s defeated by Tabby? Even better. Bring the explodo!
7. Baby Elsa undergoes training as a monster hunter
Elsa Bloodstone’s childhood earns a lot of laughs in this book, but her father Ulysses’ first stab at training her on the job as a monster hunter at infancy took the cake. It helps that you have an artist that excels like Immonen does at character acting, but holy crap, this is amazing.
6. Rokannu has his demands met
This is a moment that really works better as a whole two pages, as Rokannu – one of Dormammu’s brethren in the underworld – negotiates his fee for letting The Beyond Corporation sublet his Mindless Ones. Many times fiction has gotten laughs out of characters being really out of touch when it comes to demands, but Rokannu’s version of that is just the absolute peak of the humor Kills me every time.
5. “Ha. Fear my robot head.”
More on Aaron Stack later, but man, we can’t have this list without the drop bears – Koalas with razor sharp teeth designed by The Beyond Corporation for H.A.T.E. They sure met their match in Machine Man’s head.
4. Dirk Anger does not want to be disturbed
Dirk Anger is simultaneously the most put upon and craziest character in the history of comics. Nothing shows his mental state better than this, and really, how hilarious is that damn picture?
3. The Celestials and Aaron Stack
Aaron Stack, undoubtedly, was the breakout of Nextwave if you had to pick one. The guy known as Machine Man loved his beer, calling people fleshy ones and being a general jackass. He is just pure amazing, and no moment made me laugh harder than him getting owned by the Celestials – those omnipotent cosmic beings with power sets that are not applicable to any seven-point scale – in a flashback to describe his time with them.
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2. “Fin Fang Foom put you in his pants.”
It always was pretty ridiculous that Fin Fang Foom wore purple underpants, and Warren Ellis, being who he is, took time to point that out AND put some utility in those things: by threatening to put Tabby in FFF’s strange purple pants. The moment ended up being one of the maybe five most quotable scenes ever, and something I’ve said more times I care to admit in my life. Pure hilarity.
1. SPLASH PAGES!
This was more like a series of moments, but there are six pages in the ninth issue that perfectly encapsulate what this book is all about. Insane mash ups of some of the stranger ideas from comic history? Check. Snakes on a plane, M.O.D.O.K. Elvii and monkey wolverines? Check. Stuart Immonen creating a highlight reel for what should have been an open and shut Eisner case? Check. This was Nextwave, blatantly blowing our minds since 2006.
