Want to keep up with the ever-advancing continuity porn of the DC and Marvel universes, but simply don’t have the time or money to buy every ongoing? We’re here to help. The Weekend Week In Review aims to give you ((usually) very) brief synopses of what happened in a select few of DC and Marvel’s titles – with a helping of sarcastic commentary – so that when some nasty old writer wants to punish you by heavily referencing a title you didn’t pick up, you won’t be left in the dark. Of course, that means that spoilers are in abundance after the cut, but I figure that you could figure that out.
In The Search for Swamp Thing #1, John Constantine learned of Swamp Thing’s return and promptly did the most sensible thing: started talking to some plants. After surviving a bit of weed whacking, the magician made his way to Gotham City and did the least sensible thing: pissed off Batman. After being thrown out of a car, Constantine explained that the world was very much in danger now that Alec Holland was back. Why? Well, I didn’t quite catch it, but I imagine it has something to do with Alan Moore putting a curse on everything or something like that.
In the final issue of Ultimate Spider-Man, the final chapter of a story called “The Death of Spider-Man,” the unthinkable happened: Spider-Man died. Luckily, before that happened, Mary Jane learned that Norman Osborn’s one weakness was being hit by a truck. And so she did just that. Taking her lead, Peter picked up said truck and slammed it into the Green Goblin (after MJ got out of it, of course), killing the monster that once was a man. All the action was too much for the already busted up young hero, and as he slowly drifted off into the black, he told his Aunt May that while he might not have saved Uncle Ben, at least he saved her.
…What? I’m not tearing up. It’s just allergy season. Isn’t it?
After last issue’s cliffhanger, Ultimate Comics Avengers Vs. New Ultimates resumed with a flashback to when Fury and his Avengers took down Tyrone Cash an issue or so back. Turns out taking Fury out with a shot to the back of the head wasn’t so successful, because he had access to Cash’s advanced Hulk formula, and so did all of his Avengers. Someone has been reading too many Loeb comics. On the other side of the globe, Howard Stark’s superhuman army rose to overthrow the Korean government, led by the alternate Spider-Man from Ultimate Avengers 2. Remember him? Me neither. Considering that the issue ended with the Avengers and the New Ultimates arriving to stop the superhuman army, it looks like this series will probably end with the death of an Ultimate Spider-Man as well.
Finally, the Doomsday-centric final arc of Action Comics started making sense when new villain the Doomslayer announced that he wanted to remove Doomsday from existence. Me too, buddy! Unfortunately, his plan to do so involves destroying the Earth, rather than just taking advantage of the relaunch. After Superman crashed Doomslayer’s ship into the ocean and the resulting tidal wave was stopped by the various Superman look-alikes, Doomslayer released a bunch of Doomsdays to fight the men of steel. That’s pretty much the opposite of what I wanted him to do.
Deadpool #39 opened up with Wade still on the run from the Hulk, only now he had gotten a group of children caught up in the action. After nearly getting the kids killed by driving them toward an army that was also trying to kill Deadpool (in order to calm down the Hulk), the children’s caretaker shot Wade. When the Merc with a Mouth came to, Banner was still hulked-out, but he had regained control. After a bit of talk about Wilson’s death wish, Bruce quite literally knocked his block off. Hooray! No more Way-written Deadpo– oh, dammit, he survived. How long must this go on?
Lois Lane fans finally got the series that they wanted with Lois Lane and the Resistance (well, it’s only a miniseries, but it’s something). While covering a fashion show in Paris, Lois and Jimmy Olsen were caught by an Aquaman-induced tidal wave. Lois was able to make it to the tallest tower of the Basilique du Sacré-CÅ“ur and survive, but Olsen wasn’t so lucky. After being “rescued” by Amazons, Lois discovered that Jimmy’s camera was actually a communicator that could get her in contact with Cyborg. After over thirty weeks (a.k.a. two pages) of acting as a double agent, Lois decided to finally make her escape. The enigmatic Penny Black appeared out of nowhere to help her escape from the regular guard, but soon they were stopped by Artemis and her right-wing woman, Hawkgirl. Cue cliffhanger!
Continued belowJason Aaron has learned the secret to getting people to talk about your comics: include charts. As Wolverine took down another one of the Red Right Hand’s minions while fighting through their hate museum in issue #11 of his eponymous ongoing, one of the organization’s members reminisced about how the best mutant at what he does killed the two men she loved. After Logan killed the S&M nightmare that attacked him, another flashback revealed that Daken was also a member of the Red Right Hand’s roster, surprising… well, no one, really.
In Gates of Gotham #2, Dick hunted down the kidnapped Hush while Damian and Cass kept their eyes on the Penguin. When Dick found Hush, there was a bomb strapped to him, the timer of which was shared with another bomb that had somehow found its way into the Iceberg Lounge. Cutting the bomb off of Hush caused the timer to count down even quicker, and Damian was nearly caught in the explosion at the Iceberg Lounge trying to defuse the bomb (he’s a stubborn one, if you haven’t noticed). As the issue closed, Hush revealed that the Gates of Gotham weren’t a place — they were a pair of stepbrother architects with the last name Gates. I can’t even escape Microsoft in my escapism comics, can I?
Anything that we didn’t get to that you’re interested in? Email me at the link below! This also applies for if you read something that we didn’t and want to share it with others, as I, too, have only so much money and time to spend on comics. Don’t worry, I’ll give you credit. That being said, thanks to Matt for info regarding Action Comics.
