Want to keep up with the ever-advancing continuity porn of the DC and Marvel universes, but simply don’t have the time or money to buy every ongoing? We’re here to help. The Weekend Week In Review aims to give you ((usually) very) brief synopses of what happened in a select few of DC and Marvel’s titles – with a helping of sarcastic commentary – so that when some nasty old writer wants to punish you by heavily referencing a title you didn’t pick up, you won’t be left in the dark. Of course, that means that spoilers are in abundance after the cut, but I figure that you could figure that out.
In the unmarketably late Tron: Legacy tie-in issue of Batman Incorporated, Bruce unveiled his new Internet 3.0 – a sort of hybrid between virtual reality and social networking media – to a group of business-folk. As tends to happen with these things, the group was attacked by cyber terrorists, haunted by a Lovecraftian cyber-god, and betrayed by one of their own. Of course, with the aid of Oracle and his own Bat-avatar – Bruce Wayne is a bad enough dude that he can control two bodies at once – they didn’t stand a chance. Also, it looks like a not-quite-dead Jezebel Jet may be part of Leviathan. The end!
The new volume of The Ultimates began with… well, everything turning into shit. The Ultimate Future Foundation made some… dome thing in Germany, the shape of which makes me think Hickman has been watching too much Venture Bros. The costumes of the drones don’t help matters. After getting in a bit of a scuffle with Thor for not liking his beer, Captain Britain and his friends got pulled into said dome. Across the globe, Tony mentally piloted one of his suits to stop an arms-bearing ship in South America, only to find out that said ship was also being remotely piloted, and was armed with some kind of Stark tech explosives that mentally incapacitated Tony. Don’t forget, whatever Clint was doing went horribly awry, too. And Cap is missing. Welcome back, Nick!
In Kid Flash Lost #3, Bart became the Black Flash and was hurled about time, seeing other Speed Force-ers before their deaths. He then COIE-homaged his power to Barry, becoming the White Flash in the process. Yeah, because only a white Flash could save the universe. Way to be insensitive, DC. I suppose this means that Bart is part of the contextual reason for the relaunch, but at this point you can blame pretty much anyone.
In FF #8, we finally picked up where the story left off, with the Council of Reeds screwing things up for everyone ever. After putting Val in timeout – which she was quickly busted out of thanks to that prankster, Franklin – Reed went with the Council of Doom to take down the other Reeds. I love comics. Medusa, though, soon ‘ported the real Reed to see the returned Blackbolt. While he was gone, Doom got a chance to kick some alternate Reed ass, until Diablo and the Mad Thinker turned on him. Super-villains? Being treacherous? Surely you jest!
You know those people that Wolverine has been fighting and killing in his eponymous ongoing? The Red Right Hand? Yeah, they’re all apparently Logan’s illegitimate children. After revealing this to the best there is at what he does, those that aren’t fight-worthy pop a suicide pill and party it up in Hell. You sure showed him, guys.
Wonder Woman #614 contained the defeat of Nemesis, only with the revelation that Diana would have to take over as the new Nemesis. It’s like an unwilling version of Highlander, I guess. Wonder Woman, though, was able to break the cycle by the virtue of simply being awesome, and was spat out into the “normal” DCU reality. Reunited with her mother, Diana gave a speech about how this kind of thing happens all the time, and that the important thing is that she stays who she is through it all. Pants optional.
The Search for Swamp Thing ended with Superman, Batman, and John Constantine busting Alec Holland out of LexCorp’s clutches. After all this trouble, Constantine just says “Alright, peace out” once he finds out that Holland wants to live. All three issues were needed for this ending.
Anything that we didn’t get to that you’re interested in? Email me at the link below! This also applies for if you read something that we didn’t and want to share it with others, as I, too, have only so much money and time to spend on comics. Don’t worry, I’ll give you credit. That being said, thanks to Matt for info regarding Wolverine, Wonder Woman and The Search for Swamp Thing.
