It’s not actually been six months since “Crisis on Infinite Earths” wrapped with the start of the season, but Legends of Tomorrow season 5 has come to an end, and sadly because of our own crisis-plagued world, we’ll have to wait longer than January for season 6. Still, what a “Swan Thong” – they even had Sisqo! Time to “sing it again!”
1. Time Jump
Things get off to an action-packed start when the Legends (with the help of some eager fans willing to switch clothes) infiltrate the Fates’ temple to destroy the Loom of Fate: Sara distracts Atropos while John and Astra work their magic, using her newly gained ability to predict the goddess’s every move. Once the Loom is set to self-destruct, Sara brings in Behrad and Zari 2.0, whose combined use of the Air Totem sends Atropos hurtling into the golden maelstrom, a spectacular demise for the formidable villain.
They reunite with (most of) the rest of the gang on the recovered Waverider, and escape by jumping four months into the future, leading to a great gag where an unhappy Mick returns, complaining about how long he was left behind. (Sara also gets her eyesight back now that Atropos’s curse is gone.) However, just because the Loom and Atropos are gone doesn’t mean Lachesis has lost control, as she’s introduced the Fatewatch — “your link to the Loom” — to ensure people continue to entrust their destinies to her, which is an amusing bit of satire.
2. Our Subdued Big Bad
Lachesis, who is the true big bad of the season, is a very tranquil figure compared to Mallus and Neron: you really get the sense she just wants what’s best for humanity, even if that means turning us into docile, dependent children — she’s a coddler, basically, which can be a very different, though no less insidious, form of abuse. Astra and Charlie both get closure with the forms of manipulation they’ve received from her: Astra makes a public display of defiance against her, pointing out she only took her under her wing to replace Clotho, and that she’s no replacement for her real mother.
The Legends help Charlie break free of her sister’s programming — there’s an interesting LGBTQ subtext made text when Sara and Ava point out, how can free will be bad if chaos/time travel is what brought them together? Charlie makes the intriguing decision not to send her sister back to Hell with a Hell weapon, but to spare her, which truly signifies she no longer has any power over her, or anyone else. Sarah Strange has been a surprisingly beguiling presence as Lachesis, and it will be fascinating to see if she’s brought back for a redemption arc: in any case, it would be nice to see her again.
3. The “Thong Song”
So for anyone who doesn’t remember the new millennium, “Thong Song” is, to quote Shortlist’s article on the greatest key changes of all time, a joke of a song, but “a joke [for] how good it was. It’s brilliant all the way through but after the second chorus, it suddenly enters another dimension.” It’s perfect for Legends, a show built on dumb ideas done with the utmost sincerity, just as the song leaves you “utterly convinced, as if under a spell, that thongs are indeed the most important thing in the world.” (“Thong Song” even had a reference to Ricky Martin’s Spanish description of “the crazy life,” and this show is certainly loco.)
Lachesis doesn’t think so though, putting an animatronic display of Sisqo in her History Museum’s Hall of Bad Ideas. It’s finally activated when the Legends confront Lachesis and the Encores in the Hall of Villains, leading to a wonderfully choreographed fight scene, like the rowdiest dance party since ’99. I’m so glad I knew Sisqo was in the episode beforehand (looking and moving exactly as he did twenty years ago), because I think my laughter would’ve been uncontrollable by that point, and it is amazing that he agreed to do this, or to stand perfectly still for half his screentime. It’s just a great fight though, between the homage to The Avengers‘ circle shot; finally seeing Sara and Nate suit up this season; and Courtney Ford getting an encore as Marie Antoinette.
Continued below4. The Swan Song
Well, someone had to die seeing that’s what a swan song refers to, and as much fun as it was seeing the two Zaris bounce off each other this week, it would’ve been unsustainable after this. (There was a reason Orphan Black only had ten episodes per season.) It’s gradually shown that Zari 1.0’s presence generates a temporal disruption for Behrad, causing the manifestation of the bullet wound that ended his life in her timeline, and she decides to return to the totem. It is, as Sara points out, so unfair, but it’s a noble decision, and at least poor Nate has his memories of her now (a poignant reminder that ultimately, that’s all we’ll have left of our loved ones in this world).
Also, she won’t have to put up with the sheer weirdness of her other self snogging Constantine anymore — my goodness, that was mortifying. Some will say the Legends traded down, but Behrad deserves to have his actual sister, and I’m sure we’ll continue to see Zari 2.0 continue to grow and mature with the knowledge of her other self.
5. Too Many Swan Songs, My Heart
Charlie decides to call time on her adventures, and reunites with her band the Smell in ’70s London — no one knows why, or cares how they’re still alive, or that she looks different now: all that matters is a real celebration, where everyone (except John and Mick) enjoys a punk makeover, and a rock rendition of the theme song from Mr. Parker’s Cul-de-Sac. (The cover is another surprisingly apt reflection of the show’s raucous but friendly and welcoming attitude.)
I wasn’t sure if this really was it for Charlie, so it was kind of a weak exit, but regardless, it makes sense that Charlie no longer feels she has keep running elsewhere. It’s been such a joy seeing Maisie Richardson-Sellers cut loose as a much more fun character than Amaya these past two seasons, and I will miss her, and her marvellous singing voice. Hopefully, Astra will have another Black woman to keep her company on the ship next year.
Bonus thoughts:
– Seeing Nate using his Steel form as a conductor was simply fantastic (the things he does for love).
– It’s great seeing General Custer among the other evil Encores in the museum.
– For someone who doesn’t know what a shake weight is, Ava is a good sport for improvising them into weapons.
– I love how Zari 1.0 overthinks shutting down the Fatewatches, while her ditzier counterpart simply pulls the cord: it’s like a 21st century version of Alexander the Great and the Gordian Knot.
– I feel bad Gary and Mona didn’t get to go to Charlie’s farewell concert.
– Sara got abducted by aliens: well, I guess I’ll talk about that next year, but it’s great the show already intends to pivot to the cosmic after three seasons of mysticism (Legends in… space!)
Finally, Falk Hentschel and Ciara Renee returned as Hawkman and Hawkgirl in a short film exclusive to ComicBook.com, so do check that out; and stick around next week, when I embark on analyzing a significantly Darker time travel show for our Summer TV Binge. Finally, we come to the moment you’ve all been waiting for — an excuse to replay that song:
She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck
Thighs like what, what, what
Baby move your butt, butt, butt
I think I’ll sing it again
(If only we could travel back to that summer eh?)
